Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

First time coming up

Options
  • 05-07-2013 9:57am
    #1
    cherry2bpopped
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭


    Hi all,

    Am new to this forum and am looking for some advice if possible.. I have been seeing a guy on and off for the past few months... We have gone as far as mutual oral, hand relief but no further..

    We have been discussing anal penetration for a while now and we are both very excited about it... I have agreed to bottom for him and want to do it...

    But here's the thing... I have never bottomed before and am a bit worried.. My partner is rather well endowed...

    So am wondering

    (a) is there anything I can do to prepare myself?
    (b) is there a "best" position for first time?
    (c) any tips on how to make the act itself as enjoyable as possible?

    Any tips greatly appreciated...


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    cherry2bpopped wrote: »
    Hi all,

    Am new to this forum and am looking for some advice if possible.. I have been seeing a guy on and off for the past few months... We have gone as far as mutual oral, hand relief but no further..

    We have been discussing anal penetration for a while now and we are both very excited about it... I have agreed to bottom for him and want to do it...

    But here's the thing... I have never bottomed before and am a bit worried.. My partner is rather well endowed...

    So am wondering

    (a) is there anything I can do to prepare myself?
    (b) is there a "best" position for first time?
    (c) any tips on how to make the act itself as enjoyable as possible?

    Any tips greatly appreciated...


    Go slow, use a condom,use lots of lube and google Panti's guide to bottoming (maybe somebody has the link).


  • Options
    #3
    cherry2bpopped
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭cherry2bpopped


    We are thinking of doing doggy. Is that the best for a first time?


  • Options
    #4
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    cherry2bpopped wrote: »
    We are thinking of doing doggy. Is that the best for a first time?

    If you're new to it all and nervous, best to straddle him as that means you have complete control of depth and the speed at which you're going. If that position makes you a bit uncomfortable have both of ye lie on your side, hold your knee up a bit towards your chest and have him fuck you that way. Your knee being raised will take it a lot easier to take him.

    Make sure he knows to go slow, spend a lot of time on foreplay to relax you and set you more at ease, and use plenty of lube. Can't use too much of it.

    You're both there to have a good time so take your time to enjoy it.


  • Options
    #5
    cherry2bpopped
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭cherry2bpopped


    Thanks for the reply... Well the event took place on Saturday night and it didn't go at all well... So a big row ensued and we have not spoken since Sunday morning... :(


  • Options
    #6
    mnlad
    Registered Users Posts: 48 ✭mnlad


    if you had a row over anal sex i dont think he is worth worrying over, sex as wonderful as it is, should only be a part of a realationship, for your first time i think its needs to be someone you 100% trust or at least someone who appreciates its your first time and doesnt put you under pressure


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Without knowing the context of the row, or who said what, I would say if you can't communicate fairly openly and respectfully and respect each others boundaries/comfort thresholds then your probably not suited to being each others first time.

    I think the bottom in should be given as much time as he needs - obviously he's the one who'll have to put up with any potential pain and discomfort.

    Though equally the bottom shouldn't be putting to much pressure on ir making excessive demand on the top.


  • Options
    #8
    cherry2bpopped
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭cherry2bpopped


    It got very heated afterwards.. Can't be too explicit about what went wrong but it was quite uncomfortable... I really shouldn't have set my sights so high (or long - sorry). Anyway I'm not sure that what was said can be taken back and it is all quite upsetting:(


  • Options
    #9
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    cherry2bpopped wrote: »
    It got very heated afterwards.. Can't be too explicit about what went wrong but it was quite uncomfortable... I really shouldn't have set my sights so high (or long - sorry). Anyway I'm not sure that what was said can be taken back and it is all quite upsetting:(

    If it was "uncomfortable" as in painful then you certainly should not have gone ahead and shouldn't have been made to feel about it (if that's what happened).

    If your partner couldn't be patient and respectful with you, given that you were the one who would have to deal with any pain, then he's definitely not right for your first time - or probably for any time after that!

    If you have any questions that you don't feel comfortable asking in the thread, then I'm sure people would be happy to try and help by PM.


  • Options
    #10
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,606 ✭✭✭Rick_


    Being the sad old feck that I have been of late, I'd say that he was just after a shag, and when he didn't get it from you for whatever reason, he has now moved on to get it from someone else. I'd even go as far as to say that if your night had have been successful, he probably would have went on anyway. He was only seeing you on and off over the last few months so there was hardly any real sense of commitment there to you anyway. And as others have said, if not being able to have sex with you was such a drama for him, then he isn't right for you, either as your first time or at all as a potential partner. You'll meet a nice guy soon, don't worry.


  • Options
    #11
    cherry2bpopped
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭cherry2bpopped


    Thanks PaddyC.. Yes the consensus seems to be that I have learned the hard way that he was only after his own pleasure. Certainly that appears to have been the case given the actions since... Thanks for the positive words


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Paddy C wrote: »
    Being the sad old feck that I have been of late, I'd say that he was just after a shag, and when he didn't get it from you for whatever reason, he has now moved on to get it from someone else. I'd even go as far as to say that if your night had have been successful, he probably would have went on anyway. He was only seeing you on and off over the last few months so there was hardly any real sense of commitment there to you anyway. And as others have said, if not being able to have sex with you was such a drama for him, then he isn't right for you, either as your first time or at all as a potential partner. You'll meet a nice guy soon, don't worry.

    Jaded much?

    Who knows what he was after or why.

    Lets not go jumping to conclusions, and giving the OP an unnecessarily bleak view of things.

    He wasnt capable of showing the patience and understanding the OP neeeded.

    That's all we know so that's all we can say.


  • Options
    #13
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,606 ✭✭✭Rick_


    Jaded? Yeah... pretty much....

    116876_340.jpg


Advertisement