Meeting up

LegacyUser

In the grand scheme of things I know that this isn't a massive problem but it's bugging me!

I met this guy on Saturday night and we got on really well and have been texting since and I like him and he likes me. Thing is that he lives about 2/3 hours from me, he said he wanted to come back to visit me and seemed really keen about this.

Our messages have gotten really sexual since and I have left him with the very clear impression that when he comes to meet me we will have sex. It is just that I really don't want to have sex with him anymore and got carried away in the heat of the moment when we were texting.

The main reasons I don't want to have sex with him anymore are not because I like him any less. He is going back to Australia in 2/3 weeks and I am also leaving the country so nothing is likely to come of us, as much as I would have liked to have given it a fair chance. I don't wanna have sex and for it not to mean anything and not hear from him again, I know I will definitely feel bad after. I also don't know if he would have wanted anything to happen which makes having sex with him risky for me, I can't have casual sex it's just not for me.

But I don't now how to tell him this after all our plans to have sex and all the messages and him coming all this way. He might think I was leading him on from our messages, I feel like now sex was on the table and I'm saying I don't want to anymore he wouldn't like me anymore??

I suppose I wanna know what his reaction is likely to be and how to tell him, or anything else that might be helpful.

Not sure if I have anymore to add, think I'll leave it at that and hope it's ok and clear.

Redsox Rover

You just need to be up front and honest with the guy. If you are both leaving the country and nothing is likely to happen why worry about whether her will still like you or not?

Just because you initially suggested that you were interested in sleeping with him it does not mean it has to happen. People are allowed to change their minds whenever they want.

People often get carried away when they first meet someone and the adrenaline takes over and makes people say and do things they would not normally do. Also from what you have said it seems like you met this guy when drink was involved so i would imagine the "beer goggles" have worn off now and you are thinking like your normal self.

As i said just be up front and honest with the guy. Tell him you no longer feel sleeping together is something you are interested in as you do not like 1 night stands. Explain the reasons for this and just leave it at that.

Sleeping with someone is an extremely personal thing and never let anyone or any reason force you into doing it!

Merkin

Redsox Rover wrote: »

As i said just be up front and honest with the guy. Tell him you no longer feel sleeping together is something you are interested in as you do not like 1 night stands. Explain the reasons for this and just leave it at that.

+1 to this. You do have to be upfront with him and if I were you I probably wouldn't bother meeting him at all if he is going home in a few weeks and you're going away too, I don't really see the point to be honest.

In any event, if he is just interested in sex (which I'm assuming he is) better to tell him now then when he arrives on your doorstep with a boner.

ManOfMystery

You are allowed to change your mind, you know. Just be honest - tell him you said some things in the heat of the moment, and you didn't intend to lead him on but you feel differently about it now and you're no longer comfortable with the idea of him coming round for sex.