Bromance

jaydoxx

Okay so I met this guy a couple weeks back and we immediately hit it off in a way that does not happen very often and has never happened between me and a guy before. Like we instantly became bros and we've got crazily close in these amazing few weeks.

Now, I'm gay and he's straight, moreover he's in a relationship and I'm taking a break from men (except for the odd shift, if it comes my way ) so there's no chance of treading that territory. But I tried to make a move on one of my close guy friends last year and it got just too weird for both of us and we don't speak much at all anymore. Which of course I really regret and I try to justify by the fact that I had a huge crush on him even before I knew him but I'm afraid it's gonna happen again with this new guy.

At the moment, everything's cool and I don't really think about him that way nor do I get a boner everytime I see him which must be great signs, right? But maybe that's just down to my new attitude towards guys, or maybe I'm just worried over nothing, but I'm just terrified I'll wake up one day and like him. But does that even happen? If so how can I prevent it?

I'm guessing take one step at a time but goddamnit I want a best bro to do things with that my female best friends don't. That's right, "best friend isn't a person, it's a tier.":p

TL;DR I met a straight guy, we hit it off and now I wanna not **** it up. Suggestions?

floggg

Em, maybe just don't **** it up?

I think your way over thinking things. Your mates and you haven't fallen in love with him - why worry about things that appear unlikely to happen.

It's perfectly normal for a gay guy to be friends with straight guys - most of my friends are straight. It helps that most of them are ugly, but even the cute ones I don't even think of them that way.

If you've gotten to know him and still don't feel that way, chances are you won't.

jaydoxx

Yeah I agree with the over-thinking, that's definitely not helping any. I have lots of gay and straight guy friends and I have no worry with them, if anything it's them coming onto me but I can deal with that It's just that this guy is best friend material, which is pretty major for me anyway regardless of what sex/orientation they are, but now I have the added paranoia that because I can theoretically become attracted to him that I will.


Obviously I should just ride this gravy train and deal with that bridge if we come to it, it's just new and scary to me and my rational thinking is on the fritz

LegacyUser

Even if you become attracted to him, just don't hit on him? You know he's straight so there'd be no point doing that anyway.

You said you're taking a break from guys, but maybe seeing someone (male or female) would help keep your attraction away from him?

I've been in a similar situation, I have a straight best friend who I was madly in love with for years.
He knows about it, is incredibly supportive, and it's all cool now. But occasionally it gets more difficult for me and it's always when I don't have anywhere/anyone else to direct my attention at.

I suppose what I'm saying is to keep him very firmly in the friend zone, which is easier to do if there's someone else in the relationship zone!

Best of luck.

jaydoxx

I am being so uncool right now. Thanks for your advice unreg, I realise if I liked him I would know by now because I've exhausted my options regarding people I'm attracted to right now, so if I'm not attracted to him at the moment, what are the odds I'll become attracted to him when I have a new crush or something? Pretty f**king low I think!

Plus he's really supportive of finding me a guy so I think even if I did like him, he'd help me get over him

About the friend zone thing, I don't understand. I pretty much do all the s**t couples do with my best friends except f**king them. Are you saying I shouldn't f**k him? Cos I think that's a given