So all my friends have turned to drugs

deadybai

I have had enough of my friends an I need advise, so here is my situation. I live in a small village a half hour from outside the city. I went to secondary school in the city so I made my friends there. Iv'e had two best friends all my life who live in the same village as I do. Every time we do something we meet up with our friends from the city. The 3 of us drive in together.

Now in the last few years all my friends have started taking drugs. Started of with weed and now onto ecstasy. Over the last year Iv'e come to realise that I don't in fact particularly like my friends any more. They have literally nothing in common with me and I completely do not understand their sense of humour. There ideal view of a 'good' night out is to get as messed up on whatever they ca. The more messed up the better the night.

The dilemma that I have is I'm a very shy person and find it very hard to make new friends. The only reason I hang around with these people is because I get very bored and they are the only people in my village that I can do something with. It just so frustrating to not have someone that has the same taste in music, sports etc.

Can somebody give advise please? I'm 20 years old and feel I just have to move away to stop hanging around with these people.

IrishEyes19

Are you in college or working at the moment. would you be open to moving out of home to a new city ect. Maybe look for work there. I know its a big step, but I find people often cling to the same friends from childhood because its a safety net and familiar, now usually they are great friendships that have lasted the test of time, but in a lot of cases, people grow out of these, mature and realise they dont have the same life interests as before, but getting out there and meeting new people is a great way to start new friendships and moving out is the first step. It is scary but its worth it. Id really consider it if I were you, might help with your shyness as well. best of luck.

deadybai

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Are you in college or working at the moment. would you be open to moving out of home to a new city ect. Maybe look for work there. I know its a big step, but I find people often cling to the same friends from childhood because its a safety net and familiar, now usually they are great friendships that have lasted the test of time, but in a lot of cases, people grow out of these, mature and realise they dont have the same life interests as before, but getting out there and meeting new people is a great way to start new friendships and moving out is the first step. It is scary but its worth it. Id really consider it if I were you, might help with your shyness as well. best of luck.

Thanks for the reply! Yeah I go to college and really want to move out for student accommodation but money is very very tight at the moment. Hopefully I will meet someone I like this year if I do. I'll be going into 3rd year of my course this year. I thought I'd make friends from 1st year but none of the class mates seem to be very friendly and most of the people I was starting to make friends with dropped out after 1st year. So last year I was just left in a small class with people I didn't really get on with.

desbrook

Well done on being your own person and realising that you don't have to turn off your brain and "fit in" no matter what. Shy or not, you have common sense and guts to decide to make your own way.... and friends.
Just a suggestion but try meetup.com . I hear great reports about the various groups which seem to cover every conceivable interest. Making new friends is a skill you will need throughout life - it's good to practice it!

deadybai

desbrook wrote: »

Well done on being your own person and realising that you don't have to turn off your brain and "fit in" no matter what. Shy or not, you have common sense and guts to decide to make your own way.... and friends.
Just a suggestion but try meetup.com . I hear great reports about the various groups which seem to cover every conceivable interest. Making new friends is a skill you will need throughout life - it's good to practice it!

cheers! I will do that. thanks for the advice

LegacyUser

It is good to see that you have your own mind and you need to move on with your own life when your friends waste the chances they have been given.
If your going out each weekend getting wasted on drugs/drink it will eventually effect college and or the job you have to keep in college.
When you go back to college see what groups you could join to broaden your circle of friends. I would also see if you can learn a new skill or do an extra courses to help you get work when you leave college.