I lack confidence in job

LegacyUser

I started a new job recently and I am having some problems. For as long as I can remember I have had low or very little confidence in myself.My manager hasn't said anything critical to me or have I had any indication that I am not performing up to standard.However every time the phone rings at work I immediately think "Oh what have I done wrong now?"
For instance yesterday I emailed some work I'd done to another more senior member of the team for him to have a look at to see if he could find any bugs in it. I was really nervous opening the reply this morning as I was sure he would have found loads of things.
As it turns out there was only a couple of things and even then that was because he didn't read my initial email properly.I don't really see myself as on the same level as the people I work with. I always think I am inferior and some kind of bluffer or spoofer that will be found out one day.
I don't come from a high-achieving, academic background. I have a degree but it's not from a prestigious university.I feel nervous during the day in my work, apprehensive in the morning before I go in (or the night before or the weekend before). I worry that I am going to screw up and when I do, it re-inforces that negative view I have of myself ("See? I told you you were useless").I was in a job before this where I wasn't under much pressure (well I am not under much pressure in this job either) and I preferred it but I moved to this
one for more money. The pay in the last one was crap but it wasn't a high-powered, uppity position if you know what I mean. That doesn't mean I didn't face challenges in it as I did and resolved most of them (over time).
I think it's more the fear of being judged negatively rather than the fear of screwing up. In the last job my boss was very hands-off and left me to my own devices really, no performance reviews or anything like that.My mother is constantly berating me for "running myself down" as she calls it. I know from someone else that my sister is sick of it too.
I was coming through a toll road the other day and after I handed over the money to the cashier I thought to myself "God that's a job I would love".
I know if I did I would soon get bored to death though. I was thinking of leaving and doing something less challenging. I don't know what though. I know that this happens to some people (some really intelligent people too).
I have two friends who were working in highly responsible jobs and were successful at them but left because they couldn't handle the responsibility, pressure, expectation whatever. One is unemployed and the other works in a lowly, poorly-paid job.
It's quite possible the same thing could happen to me.
Sometimes when I come in to work in my shirt and trousers and look at other people there I say to myself "I shouldn't be here, who am I kidding?"
I have discussed this with my GP and she said I wouldn't have been given the job if they didn't think I could do it. Likewise with my degree; I wouldn't have got it if I didn't know my stuff.
I have to fight this thing every day, it isn't easy. I tried CBT a few years ago but I thought it was silly (I know it's helped a lot of people, I don't mean offence).

Diziet

Well, you have a degree and you sound intelligent and capable. Your manager thinks you are doing ok, so this is something you will need to address in your head. You could try talking to a counsellor, and maybe give CBT another go.

A shortcut version, which I found helpful in the past when face with scary situations are work was t be as prepared and I can be and then walk in and pretend I am confident. Just pretend. It's a game. It does work though; it takes the edge off the anxiety and gives you a feel of what it is like not to worry all the time. Then your mindset shifts and it all gets easier.

username123

I used to feel exactly like that in my first job. I often thought Id be "caught out" and theyd all realise I was useless and didnt know what I was doing.

I look back now and realise it was just a lack of self confidence in my youth. What stopped it happening for me was just becoming more familiar with the work, slowly becoming more confident in what I was doing, and I suppose - being encouraged by the other staff when they would thank me or say fair play for something.

I just assumed in my own case that it was a fairly normal way for someone young and inexperienced to feel. If you feel that this is something persistant in your life and not just a "normal" way to feel for a few weeks or months in a new situation - then why not talk to your GP about it? GPs deal with anxiety all the time, its very common.

I hope you are able to overcome this because the truth is - you are just as capable as anyone else.

bluemagpie

It's a fairly common thought, referred to as imposter syndrome. As others said perhaps speak to a councillor again, otherwise read a few books that might give you an insight, they won't solve it but it should help you to realise its a normal feeling and to let it go and keep on working away. After all you said it yourself, you wouldn't have the degree or job if you didn't work for them, and successfully do them. The fact that your last boss left you to your work indicates that they had a lot of confidence in you.

Books that could help are, Quiet by Susan Cain, if you're an introvert, or Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, yep it is aimed at women but even she states that she sometimes feels like a fraud and that she will be found out, quite interesting given she is COO of Facebook.

Also when you're looking around that office thinking others are better ask yourself why? Do you really believe it? Taking a less challenging job isn't going to help, you'll either just get bored or you'll have the same unfounded thoughts again. Another suggestion could be to talk to people in your office more about your work, say projects etc get ideas or ask for advice from them, they in turn will discuss ideas with you, this might increase your confidence by being more comfortable with your co workers, knowing them better and being less afraid to give your opinions etc.

Perhaps you need more challenges outside of work in your hobbies etc that will help you to stop fixating on work, having an enjoyable hobby outside of work could bolster your confidence in general which will transfer into your work. And stop worrying about being a fraud, you aren't.

December2012

Maybe go to a different counsellor and get some confidence building techniques.