Counselling experience\suitability?

LegacyUser

Regular poster here going unreg.

I feel like I have a few issues with social anxiety/low self-confidence/procrastination etc. that are holding me back in life but when I've tried counselling before it hasn't worked out.

I've gone a couple of times over the years (2 sessions with one counselor and 3 with another) and both times I felt I didn't really "click" with the counselor, and wasn't really comfortable opening up to them, so I stopped going.

Maybe I just got matched to the "wrong" counselors, or my social anxiety ironically made me feel too awkward, but I don't know what you're supposed to do if you don't feel like it's working out but still need help. I know I should probably have given it more time but how do you know if it's going to make a difference? I don't want to waste their time if they could spend it helping someone more suitable.

I don't know anyone else who has gone to counselling (and was willing to talk about it) so I guess I'd be curious to hear from anyone who had a similar experience to me or who has had a positive experience with counselling to see if theres anything I can do to make it work for me or am I a lost cause!

ivytwine

counselling123 wrote: »

Regular poster here going unreg.

I feel like I have a few issues with social anxiety/low self-confidence/procrastination etc. that are holding me back in life but when I've tried counselling before it hasn't worked out.

I've gone a couple of times over the years (2 sessions with one counselor and 3 with another) and both times I felt I didn't really "click" with the counselor, and wasn't really comfortable opening up to them, so I stopped going.

Maybe I just got matched to the "wrong" counselors, or my social anxiety ironically made me feel too awkward, but I don't know what you're supposed to do if you don't feel like it's working out but still need help. I know I should probably have given it more time but how do you know if it's going to make a difference? I don't want to waste their time if they could spend it helping someone more suitable.

I don't know anyone else who has gone to counselling (and was willing to talk about it) so I guess I'd be curious to hear from anyone who had a similar experience to me or who has had a positive experience with counselling to see if theres anything I can do to make it work for me or am I a lost cause!

I've done it and it did me the power of good. My counsellor was a lovely person. You do have to click with them, but it is worth it, even if you feel at first you're not really getting anything out of it!

Hersheys

Maybe try a different gender? I have difficulty with male counsellors. Also many counselling practices have lots of different counsellors so you could maybe ask the receptionist who would be best for your particular issue?

scriba

I just spotted this, so I said I'd give my two cents.

I'm started going to counselling in the last 6 months, and I can honestly say it's been the best, and most positive, thing I've done for myself in many years.

My opinion that the best work comes from a good relationship between you and your counsellor, so it's important that you're comfortable with and trust the person and the process. My current counsellor, I clicked with straight away, so I'm lucky in that regard. But I was prepared to request a different counsellor in the event that it wasn't working out. Previously, I had six sessions with another counsellor (that was all I was allocated: it was a college service). While I didn't feel a huge connection, I used the sessions as a way to familiarise myself with the process, and get used to the not-inconsiderable hurdle of telling private things to a stranger. It was only by the sixth session that I felt I was getting the hang of it, and even now, I still feel like it's a learning curve.

What I'm trying to say is that you may need to a particular relationship with a counsellor more time to develop, or else try to figure out what the issue you have with that particular set up might be. There are certain traits that people have which would make me less comfortable in sharing stuff. So next time you get that feeling that you should try someone else, try figure out if it's them, or if it's your own anxieties. Not saying that it is, or will be ever, your 'fault', but you'll have a clearer idea of what you need.

You are certainly not a lost cause, you have decided to take a step towards tackling issues which are making you unhappy. This is a brave step, to be commended. How do you know if it's going to make a difference? A little trust in yourself perhaps, that you want to make a difference, and counselling is one tool which might help you do that. The difference is hard to spot too, in my experience. Change for me has been a whole load of little things, which have combined to make me happier. Often, it's others who may notice the difference in you. Anything that changes over the course of time requires a period of time to pass before you even recognise that change has taken place. You certainly won't be wasting anyone's time by taking time to figure out if this process is helping you.

What Hersheys suggested is a good idea, and it will help you figure out what you're looking for.

I wish you all the best.