I talk to myself...

Chattybatty

For as long as I can remember I have spoken to myself out loud. It began when I was a small child, coming from a very emotionally detached family who had (and still have) problems with communication. My views were never heard or understood and through the years I have learned to cope with this by stating my piece - to myself. It was the only way I could feel I was being listened to and nobody had the chance to talk me down.

I am now in my mid twenties and I still use this to validate my own thoughts. I never speak back to myself as it were, but if I am frustrated with a conversation/argument were I feel completely ignored, talking it through and stating my piece with myself seems to ease the frustration.

I am completely aware of the fact that I do this and I never do it when anyone is around. I know exactly why it happens. I don't consider myself 'mad' in the general sense but I feel that it is not normal behaviour. I am worried that it may get worse as I get on in life. I have gone to a therapist and found it great but on a day to day basis, this is my coping mechanism. My question is, does anyone else do this? Am I mad? I have always felt I am alone with this, but I have wondered whether it is more common than I think and others are good at hiding it too. Any insight appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Princess Peach

I can't really say if it's normal, but I do it all the time. I do speak back to myself though.

I would say I have a smidge of the crazy in general. But I don't think you should worry about it. If you are worried, maybe work on asserting yourself more in conversations. Start off small and see how that goes.

LegacyUser

I do this all the time. Except I do it silently, cos I'm paranoid about someone overhearing and a) thinking I'm nuts and b) hearing my personal worries. My challenge is always keeping my face looking neutral as I'm walking along the street, as in private I not only get pretty expressive but also mouth the conversations silently.

I'm pretty sure my other half has always done it as well. Though now we have a dog he tends to talk aloud to the dog. I can hear him downstairs....yak yak yak. Its kinda cute, and I think he prefers it. Feels less nutso.

I sort everything out through these big massive internal conversations. Always have, as long as I can remember.

If you feel wierd, learn to do it silently. Or get a dog!

iusedtoknow

Chattybatty wrote: »

For as long as I can remember I have spoken to myself out loud. It began when I was a small child, coming from a very emotionally detached family who had (and still have) problems with communication. My views were never heard or understood and through the years I have learned to cope with this by stating my piece - to myself. It was the only way I could feel I was being listened to and nobody had the chance to talk me down.

I am now in my mid twenties and I still use this to validate my own thoughts. I never speak back to myself as it were, but if I am frustrated with a conversation/argument were I feel completely ignored, talking it through and stating my piece with myself seems to ease the frustration.

I am completely aware of the fact that I do this and I never do it when anyone is around. I know exactly why it happens. I don't consider myself 'mad' in the general sense but I feel that it is not normal behaviour. I am worried that it may get worse as I get on in life. I have gone to a therapist and found it great but on a day to day basis, this is my coping mechanism. My question is, does anyone else do this? Am I mad? I have always felt I am alone with this, but I have wondered whether it is more common than I think and others are good at hiding it too. Any insight appreciated. Thanks for reading.

My wife does it, only when she's trying to figure something out (she doesn't talk about the weather or anything)

At first it freaked me out a very little bit, now I'm used to it - as long as you don't start walking down the street talking to your hand, you have nothing to worry about

miamee

I do it too, mostly in my head but if I am alone sometimes I will unwittingly start talking out loud to myself. Can be embarrassing when caught but nothing to worry about (I hope)

username123

I do it both silently and aloud. Ive often been caught talking to myself. I think most people do it to a degree.

Chattybatty

OP here, thanks for all of your replies. It is reassuring to know that this is more common than I realised. I guess it's sort of free therapy in a way and it allows me to feel validated and listened to. I can't ever see myself stopping this as it is a learned behaviour that has arisen from not being allowed to express myself freely. If it's keeping my mental health in check and I can actually understand why it's happening, i'm hoping that it won't have any long terms effects.

To the poster above re assertiveness, I guess I have always been assertive particularly with my family, but no matter how firm or loud I speak, I just can't make people listen or understand what I am trying to say. My parents would be quite old school and have the mindset that children should be seen and not heard - no matter how old they are! That is how the frustration and self pep talk developed as a coping skill.

P. Breathnach

I don't see talking to oneself as a problem, but most people who do it would be a bit embarrassed to be observed doing it. A slightly frivolous suggestion, but perhaps useful to some: if you are in a public place and you wear a hands-free phone, nobody can tell if you are talking to yourself or to somebody with whom you are in phone contact.

I often do it when I am trying to work on something practical- it's pretty incredible how many people do it too. So you're not weird here, OP. Everyone has some form of monologue going on in their head - whether it be silent or out loud.

Zen65

I do it all the time, silently, but unfortunately I occasionally move my lips while I'm doing it.

I find it helps not only to reconcile an event or conversation from the past in my own head, but also to prepare myself for a difficult conversation that I'm planning to have with somebody.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Z

OP, if anything, it would be strange if you didn't talk to yourself in some form. Threads like these always are good for realizing you're not alone - hope it gives you some form of closure.

helimachoptor

I do it all the time, mostly around making decisions but sometimes just in general, i wouldnt worry op

LegacyUser

i do it too op, and for the same reasons as you mentioned. never feeling like i could say what i wanted or needed to as kid in an emotionally detached family. it's become a coping mechanism and i've learned to live with it i suppose. there's a quote i read ages ago that i love, ''People say I'm crazy for talking to myself. I say I'm just glad to have found an intelligent conversation.''

LegacyUser

I have conversations with myself out loud. Only at home though, never in public. It's usually about interests (music,sport etc) I can go through periods where I don't do it but they are rare. I've asked myself whether it's normal or not too.

Coincidentally, I have schizophrenia but I don't think it's to do with that. It's not me answering voices or delusions (I don't get these much anymore anyway), more keeping myself entertained with the thoughts I'm having about my interests.

Don't know if that helps OP, just my experience!

Queen-Mise

voiceofreasonhere wrote: »

i do it too op, and for the same reasons as you mentioned. never feeling like i could say what i wanted or needed to as kid in an emotionally detached family. it's become a coping mechanism and i've learned to live with it i suppose. there's a quote i read ages ago that i love, ''People say I'm crazy for talking to myself. I say I'm just glad to have found an intelligent conversation.''

That is genius.

Whatever works OP in keeping your brain sane is ok.

I do a lot of my talking internal but I definitely would talk to the animals and stuff. And I would rant out loud or give out about something.

Chattybatty

That is such a great quote! That definately helps a lot, thank you for your input. I am not answering voices in my head or even hearing them for that matter so it's not even a conversation. Its exactly that, just keeping my brain in check!

ivytwine

I do it as well, so does my mother... Another quote I heard was "I'm talking to myself because I need expert advice!"

Don't mind that nonsense about it being a sign of madness, lots of people I know do it, and if they don't talk to themselves they probably talk to the cat or even the computer!

Little Acorn

I find I do it when I'm really REALLY angry.

If I'm alone, I will have have a full blown one sided argument with whoever is annoying me at the time. It's like I have a torrent of angry things I've always wanted to say to the person or smart comebacks that I wish I had thought of earlier. It's mostly in my head and not very loudly spoken, although I often mutter what I'm thinking (screaming) in my head in temper and I'm sure my lips move and face looks cross when I'm doing this.

Never do it in public though, and I find it actually calms me so that I don't say the horrible things to the person but can approach the situation with them in a calmer more civil manner.

I remember as a teenager I did it the whole time, thinking of funny things I could say to lads I fancied. Kinda embarrassing but hopefully not too weird. :P