Concentration flop mid convo

LegacyUser

I've had this problem for years where in a situation there is 3 or 4 in the group...chatting away...I on the otherhand appear to be listening when I'm not , I usually to listen to the start of the convo then I drift, my mind goes somewhere when I don't even know I've tuned out until I'm suddenly put on the spot and asked a question. I make things worse by letting on I was listening by throwing in a comment or question to what 'I think' was asked only to be humiliated by friends laughing hysterically seeing as my comment is way off the topic as the conversation has since been moved on to something different! It leaves me feeling very down, very embarrassed and worse humiliated by friends. It destroys my confidence yet it happens time and time but thankfully not constant. My mind seems to work faster than my brain. I also say things that I often regret after.
Any advice please?

matt-dublin

have you ever had any learning difficulties etc? you may have mild ADD or something similar.

im a bit the same by somewhat zoning out midway through conversation when something else attracts my attention, esp in work (usually the YLYL threads!).

never really found a solution to it, I know it gets worse when I'm tired or haven't had a coffee in the morning.

RossFixxxed

From your post you seem to have concentration and impulse control issues. If you are blurting things you regret and not following conversations regularly I would recommend getting a check, with a professional, for something along the lines of ADHD or such. I'm not diagnosing as there is about a million things that can cause it, even just being a bit 'away with the faries'.

I'm 100% the same but there are ways to combat these things, and things you can do to keep it in check. My friends use the expression 'squirrel!' from the movie Up as a joke to refer to how I just get distracted and wander off. A recruitment agent described talking to me as being like 'a ping pong ball flung into a tiny room and you have to duck and dodge it as it flies around'. Ring any bells?

One simple trick to get your brain/body a little calmer is to spend 3 minutes concentrating on your breathing. Imagine it going in and out through your heart. Once you have a handle on that imagine being somewhere really safe that you enjoy being. Do this a couple of times a day.

I don't think pretending to be involved in the conversation is doing you any favours by the way. I'd say just be open and honest with friends, they'll understand.

Were you very talkative and hyper when you were younger? Have you had any issues with learning difficulties? Are you driven to do something and then rapidly lose interest and jump on the next thing?

Take it from someone who's been there and is there, it does get better!



Squirrel!

pwurple

Sounds more like your friends are boring you slightly. Are you interested in what they are talking about?

RossFixxxed

pwurple wrote: »

Sounds more like your friends are boring you slightly. Are you interested in what they are talking about?

HA! I never considered that one when I was writing my reply. It could well be that. I always try to get involved but once footbazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sorry once football conversations start I just can't pay attention to it.

It is possible that the OP doens't have an outlet for his/her passions and as a result finds it hard to engage in conversations outside that sphere.

Or they are really boring.