is it possible to love 2 people at same time?

truthful guy

anyone out there think its possible to love 2 different people at the same time?

MagicMarker

No, because you don't cheat on someone you love.

deco2013

MagicMarker wrote: »

No, because you don't cheat on someone you love.

Agree completely with this. Common sense really

Lorna123

You can love two people at the same time, but in two different ways. It is not feasible though to carry on with two relationships because in the end one will suffer and that is what you are experiencing now. So it makes life easier to just stay faithful to one lover and not complicate things by trying to love two.

YumCha

There's two things here - one is if you're looking for an answer to is it possible to love two people at once then yes - there's lot of non-monogamous ways to do relationships provided that both (or all!) of the people involved are open, honest and consenting, and that ground rules are agreed. I met the guy who runs the Dublin Polyamory group on meetup.com and had a really fascinating chat about it - was very interesting to hear from people who have gone down this route.

On the other hand, what you're doing right now really isn't fair to your current partner at all.

ShaShaBear

I think I saw some obscure quote on the internet that was claimed to have been said by Johnny Depp, something along the lines of "If you fall in love with a girl and then you fall in love with another girl, then you didn't really love the first girl".

So while I doubt the origin of the quote, I agree fundamentally. You do not love them both in a romantic way. One of them is imposed feelings. I would hazard a guess and say you feel you "should" love your current partner but you are not over your ex, but it is also possible that because of "unfinished business" with your ex, she plays on your mind and you are confusing that with still being in love with her.

Only you will know, but I have a funny feeling you already do.

judgefudge

truthful guy wrote: »

I know its my ex that I love ... trouble is .. its definately over. I work with her so it makes it very difficult to move on and forget. Also moving jobs is not an option.

Should I stay with my current partner who I'm reasonably happy with ? Is that fair ? or would it be best to finish that and come clean and move on.

Thanks for the comments.. I'll just have to keep pretending that everything is fine and she doesn't melt my heart everytime I see her.

You've said it yourself. You don't love two people at once. You love (or at least have strong feelings for) your ex and you are "reasonably happy" with your current partner. Honestly, go sort your head out and let your current partner find someone who's mad about them.

Emme

I think it is possible to love two people at once but that doesn't fit into the monogamous "ideal" that is peddled to us by society.

OP, perhaps you are polyamorous. This is fine if your partner and the other person understand this, but if your partner expects a monogamous relationship and you are polyamorous then this could lead to problems.

Polyamory is more common than people like to think. It is possible to love two people at the same time.

A good friend of mine once made an interesting point in saying that it is socially acceptable to hate more than one person, but not to love more than one person.

Glitter

Emme wrote: »

Polyamory is more common than people like to think. It is possible to love two people at the same time.

Agree 100%. But not when all or some of the parties involved are being lied to, by omission or otherwise.

OP, I would also hate to be the girl that someone is 'reasonably happy' with. Ew.

judgefudge

Emme wrote: »

I think it is possible to love two people at once but that doesn't fit into the monogamous "ideal" that is peddled to us by society.

OP, perhaps you are polyamorous. This is fine if your partner and the other person understand this, but if your partner expects a monogamous relationship and you are polyamorous then this could lead to problems.

Polyamory is more common than people like to think. It is possible to love two people at the same time.

I'm sure that's true but by reading the OPs last post it doesn't seem to be the case here.

ShaShaBear

Emme wrote: »

I think it is possible to love two people at once but that doesn't fit into the monogamous "ideal" that is peddled to us by society.

OP, perhaps you are polyamorous. This is fine if your partner and the other person understand this, but if your partner expects a monogamous relationship and you are polyamorous then this could lead to problems.

Polyamory is more common than people like to think. It is possible to love two people at the same time.

It is, I am sure. But when your "heart melts" when looking at your ex, and you are "reasonably happy" with your current partner, you don't love them both romantically.

ash23

Of course it is possible to love more than one person at a time.

But lying to someone and keeping something from them, deceiving them for your own gain......that's not love.