Lonely

deco2013

Hi
Married long time ... Bored and lonely ... But not really other half s problem more my own. She was very outgoing when we met I was quiet , kinda keep to myself happy enough pottering around my self from time to tome go out with a pal to go for a pint ..... Now mid 40s she is in pjs at 7 glued to the sofa and I feel in my own ... No real love life .. I am sort of drifting aimlessly from one say to the next .... Have no real interests or passions ... Find life hard going really ... It's hard to get it all down here but I feel in ten years time it's going to be the same .... I am in a rut but it was the outgoing , fun person that I met years ago has now become my twin!!
Really lost zest for life .... Not a great mixer me , which is a disaster '

Lorna123

deco2013 wrote: »

Hi
Married long time ... Bored and lonely ... But not really other half s problem more my own. She was very outgoing when we met I was quiet , kinda keep to myself happy enough pottering around my self from time to tome go out with a pal to go for a pint ..... Now mid 40s she is in pjs at 7 glued to the sofa and I feel in my own ... No real love life .. I am sort of drifting aimlessly from one say to the next .... Have no real interests or passions ... Find life hard going really ... It's hard to get it all down here but I feel in ten years time it's going to be the same .... I am in a rut but it was the outgoing , fun person that I met years ago has now become my twin!!
Really lost zest for life .... Not a great mixer me , which is a disaster '

Yes, it will never change OP, unless you do something about it. You need to sit down with your o/h at night and watch t.v. together. Organize a night out with her once a week if possible where you can have a one to one chat, which is easier to do when out rather than in front of a t.v. You could join a sport, gym, or an evening class just to have an interest of your own. It gets boring when you do nothing because then you have nothing to talk about. Plan something for the weekend between you so that it won't just be the same as a weekday.

deco2013

Lorna123 wrote: »

Yes, it will never change OP, unless you do something about it. You need to sit down with your o/h at night and watch t.v. together. Organize a night out with her once a week if possible where you can have a one to one chat, which is easier to do when out rather than in front of a t.v. You could join a sport, gym, or an evening class just to have an interest of your own. It gets boring when you do nothing because then you have nothing to talk about. Plan something for the weekend between you so that it won't just be the same as a weekday.

Thanks your right she booked grub for next thur evening I was just thinking earlier what am I going to talk about as we are stuck together most of the time .... Thks for you advice

A2LUE42

deco2013 wrote: »

Thanks your right she booked grub for next thur evening I was just thinking earlier what am I going to talk about as we are stuck together most of the time .... Thks for you advice

If you have children it may restrict what you can do. But go out together. Go walk in the woods or on a beach followed by a coffee/glass of wine/Bite to eat/whatever.

Do some of the things you did together when you were younger.

Go join a club yourself. Play indoor football. Just post in whatever your local region is on boards and you will find a game. You could join a badminton club or something like that.

You need to be both happy in yourself and ss a couple to make it work.

Good luck.

Pippa80

I like you am in a similar position. Married a long time, kids grown, totally bored with each other at this stage. What to do? Split up, try harder, or stay miserable. I wish I had a solution. He still loves me I think, but I am no longer in love with him. Has to be more to life than this.

downwesht

I think you get out of a relationship what you put in.
If things are getting mundane and boring change things radically,eg pick a weekend away doing something you would never have considered before.Aim to do something at least one night a week,be it cook something new together,cinema,walk,run,gym etc.
Talking and communication is the most important bit.Sit down and constructively discuss whats going on in the relationship and how things can be improved.We all take our partners for granted and only see the faults....