Advice Needed

SineadLala

I'm in a job that I hate. Absolutely no appreciation for the fact that I go that extra mile for the company.
Customers treat me like sh!t and the managers treat me like sh!t. I've had enough. My stress levels are crazy. I can't sleep a full night. I've lost count the amount of times I've cried on my lunch hour. Ive aches and pains in my back, neck and arms from working with a computer for 11 hrs a day for just over 5yrs now...
Anyone I speak to all tell me "Your lucky to have a job" (WTF!)
I really really really want to leave my job. As far as I'm concerned this job is not worth all this agro...
Am I an idiot for leaving a weekly wage??
If I did leave could I even sign-on because I left work and wasn't fired?!

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

December2012

Would you go and talk with a therapist about your stress levels?

miamee

If you leave voluntarily, you must wait 9 weeks before you are entitled to sign on as far as I remember. I'm open to correction, that was the case five years ago.
Try to stop putting in the extra effort if it is stressing you out and going unnoticed but I wouldn't leave until I had something to go to.

SineadLala

If there was other jobs out there I'd be gone in a heartbeat... Problem is I've no college behind me and no qualifications! The country is desperate for work so any job I could and would consider applying for I'd have a heck of a lot of competition out there also applying for the same job.
I love having my wages at the end of the week don't get me wrong and I know it would be a major come down to sign on from a financial aspect.... But in the long run is it worth keeping a job that I hate and borderline going crazy (?)

SineadLala

I totally agree with you about laying off the extra mile but in all honesty it's not in me to do that. I'm a yes person 😩
( Eeeeejit more like 😄 )
Will try to lay off some
Thanks

mikemac1

OP, do not quit the job for now.

Work is making you miserable but a few weeks on the dole and you'll be climbing the walls with boredom. And it won't help your mental state at all.

Talk to your GP!

GP's know the score and talking about workplace stress is regular for them.

Lucky to have a job but yeah, bosses are sometimes asking people to do the work of 3 people and customers can be damn nasty too.

I know it's hard but don't take customer abuse personally. They don't aim it at Sinead, they aim it at the girl in the work uniform. You just happen to be there.

Anyway, go talk to the GP.
You will most likely be told about stress breaking like vigorous exercise. If needs be you'll get drugs but that's not the first option, you can solve this without drugs.

Anyway, hang onto the job for now. Don't do anything rash

Stavro Mueller

Have you tried looking for other jobs? Are you job hunting at the moment? I know the jobs market out there isn't great and you've said you've no qualifications. But you have held down a tough job for 5 years and that has to stand to you. When job hunting it also helps to be in a job already. Would it be possible for you to get some sort of qualification by distance learning or part time? Yeah I know it's tough with the hours you're working but if you want to improve your prospects, you have to help yourself .

triseke

OP, i quit a very stressful, full time, permanent job in January of this year. I went from crying every morning before work and every evening before bed. I only slept on average about 3 hours a night. I would go for days without eating and then binge horrifically.

My mental health was in an absolute state. I was becoming a different person, and my friends and family were concerned about me to the point where we had an "intervention" style meeting.

There was one day I was sitting at my desk, getting shouted at, calls from everywhere and emergencies flying at me, and I asked myself "what am I doing?".

I was utterly miserable and frankly, life is too short.

I quit. Just handed in my notice and left. Never looked back. I am now only working part time, and yes its been an adjustment. Yes, I have money concerns now, but it's all worth it when I think back to where I was this time last year.

I can't give you advice beyond that OP. I don't know your situation, but trust me, your mental health is the most important thing. Best of luck.

Lenmeister

Aye exactly. No job is worth losing your mind over. I don't care what the wage is. Have you talked to to your manager about your problems? If they are in any way decent they might give you some time off. I'd go see a gp about your health to make sure it's ok for a start. All comes down to whether your weekly wage is worth more to you than your current state of being. By the sounds of things it's definitely a no no, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. I've read many topics like this and almost everyone who left a really stressful job that was screwing up their lives has said it worked out for the better. If you decide to leave you can always get a good reference as you'd worked really hard so you'll have that behind you.

LegacyUser

If you are not allowed to sign on the dole for a few weeks after leaving you may be able to go to you your community welfare officer and receive a cheque for the same amount as the dole (or maybe less) each week until you are able to receive the proper dole.
I am not certain about this but I think it may be an option. The state benefits forum here on boards may be better able to inform you on that matter.
I think if you get a letter from your doctor saying you are leaving due to extreme stress that it will also help your case regarding social welfare help.

Actually come to think of it, if you get a letter from your doctor regarding stress would you be entitled to any paid time of work?

You could either spend this time recooperating and decide to go back to the job but in a new frame of mind that you won't intend on killing yourself anymore by doing extra, or else spend the time looking for another job?

Esoteric_

The 9 week exclusion period for the dole can be waived at the person's discretion, if they feel you have a very valid reason for leaving work. They waived it for me when I left my last job, and I'm much happier now in my new job.

No job is worth being that stressed out about, but I'd do as somebody else suggested and try counselling first, to see if that could help.

RossFixxxed

Esoteric_ wrote: »

The 9 week exclusion period for the dole can be waived at the person's discretion, if they feel you have a very valid reason for leaving work. They waived it for me when I left my last job, and I'm much happier now in my new job.

Me too. They will assess the situation.

Go to your GP and get notes, take some sick leave for stress and don't tell them that is the reason. Just mention the physical issues. (Some employers once they hear 'stress' etc will hit the roof). The sick notes will also help with the dole office.

Get to a councellor after the GP and work on stress management in the mean time, the skills will help.

Clearly lay out what you want to do. I was in customer service and I despised it every minute of every day. I'm well out of that are now, thankfully.

Sign on to recruit Ireland etc, and start contacting 2 - 3 recruitment agents and tell them what you have laid out. Stay in your current, crappy job until you have some prospects. Tell nobody you work with you are doing any of this. (Maybe obvious but easy to say these things sometimes).

Don't feel guilty. In one way you are lucky to have an INCOME, but unlucky to be in such a crappy situation. Quality of life is very, very important and you are clearly miserable. You are NOT WRONG wanting to leave, but I think you can do it in a structured, calm manner.

When you quit, do it discreetly and politely. Don't rant and rave about how awful the place is, you never know when someone from HR will turn up again in your career! It's a small country and you do bump into the same people as the years go by.

Finally: DON'T FEEL GUILTY (again). You are not wrong. You know how you feel and it isn't right, nor should you have to live like that. As I said it's really just how you handle the situation.

Best of luck OP, I've been there, you will get it sorted, give yourself some time to figure it out and make the right moves.


EDIT: Going the 'extra mile' as mentioned isn't necessarily a good idea tbh. More often than not it gets taken for granted and becomes the norm. That serves nobody really. You need to 'train' the people around you. I go at 5 regularly and if anyone comments they get a big smile and a 'I'm off to a BBQ' or a 'pity it's raining but I've a movie I'm looking forward to , byeeeeee' as I walk out the door. They get used to it and now THANK me for doing anything extra. I get full pay rises and same bonuses as those who stay all night doing it. Look after YOU. Don't worry about them, they have their own lives. Make the decision to get home at a reasonable time and walk out.

I had the 'pleasing teacher' mindset for years and consciously did not do it in this job. I stay quieter and I don't volunteer to help everyone with all their problems. You just become the 'oh Ross will do that for you' guy and people get actively angry that you won't stay til 10 at night inserting tables into a document for them or whatever it is. The whole school model tends to train people to try to do things a certain way and to impress the teacher, it's a bad idea. Same goes for trying to be everyone's friend. You can be nice and friendLY but you are better keeping a professional distance and trying to help those above you. Do not get walked all over. When you get your new job, set precedents. You are nice but don't take rubbish, you will do some extra hours when you can, you will help with that word document if you get time etc. Set yourself up next time to not fall back into this trap again. I say this as someone who did it in about 5 different jobs