moving - a big risk

LegacyUser

my boyfriend of 2.5 years and I have always planned that we would settle down in his home town, where he has a job, a house and land. Problem is its very rural compared to what I'm used to, and I've been putting off the move for the last few months - not because I don't want to be with him, but because I'm finding it hard giving up my job when I'm used to having a wage coming in. I love him, and want to move forward but I can't make up my mind what's best to do. He is very understanding and supportive of my choices but there's not much he can do about the job situation in his county, and he can't move to be with me. We're at a deadlock!! Any advice or stories? I've obviously searched high and low on the jobs pages for something closer to him but its basically looking like I'd be doing comparatively low-paid and unskilled work. I'm from Dublin but live in Belfast, he's from Galway. I'm 30. I love going to Galway at weekends to visit him, and I've made a circle of friends through him, but I don't know how I'd feel if I was unable to get work long-term.

CaraMay

Couldnt you find work in Galway city and commute from his hometown?

Merkin

unregistered wrote: »

I'm finding it hard giving up my job when I'm used to having a wage coming in.

I think you're putting the cart before the horse. I wouldn't move until I had a job in place and certainly wouldn't move on foot of giving up your job to go and live in a small rural community with no way of being independent and having your own money. It's too big an ask. Is there any way you can look for jobs in Galway City or another big town and be prepared to commute?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. Of course, I could commute to Galway, but its not really a "big city" and jobs are not easy to find there. I could work in a shop or maybe get a job as a secretary but in my line of work opportunities for progression are limited. At the same time, its not some sort of whim, we've basically been planning that I move to be with him since we started going out...I fell in love with Galway because its a beautiful place, but then reality set in that my career so far would be largely wasted. But if I stay put, we would really have to end our relationship because it will stagnate with long term long distance and, besides, we want children so living long-distance can only ever be temporary. Therefore I have to give up one thing: my career or the man I love...whatever I do. I concluded that he is more important to me than money...but every time I go to hand in my notice I freak out and imagine poverty!

CaraMay

No one can tell you what to do.

Do you want your career od your bf and a family? Only you can decide which us most important.

strandroad

What kind of career cannot be had in Galway? Take your time to find a suitable job, talk to recruiters, cast the net. You are already making a big concession by moving to where your bf lives. If you give up your career for him as well you may start resenting the whole situation very soon.

LegacyUser

Galway isn't that small and rural.
Granted it is smaller than Dublin but ...
There are many multinationals that have settled there ...
Worst case scenario, Shannon is 1 hour down the road ...

My advice .... look for a job and then move ...

Long time ago, before the Celtic Tiger era ... my OH and I were commuting at the weekend to see each other for about 4 years as we couldn't find something in the same city ...
Patience and perseverance ...:)

maryk123

Could you take a career break. Or a couple of months off and move down and see how it goes. Also have yee discussed the money situation when you move. How does he feel about this as he will in effect "be keeping you" - can you deal with this. Huge decision however, if he is the one you would be mad to let him go. Once you have ironed out all the things you feel insecure about go for it and enjoy it.

tigerblob

Try talking to a career guidance counsellor. They can help you see the wood for the trees and will have a fresh outlook on the situation. They could suggest ways to pursue your career in Galway or how to work from home etc etc.

LegacyUser

I would agree with the above posts.
I would talk to a career guidance counsellor as they can advise you on courses, training or where the skills you have to date can be used for in a different career.
After doing this I think it will give you a better idea of what options are open to you.

I would not move to Galway until you have a job as you are already making a major life change. For your own sake it would be better for you to be working, meeting new people and having your own income.
Also if you move to Galway with out a job you will resent asking your boyfriend for money.
Even if you get the dole after a few months they will take your boyfriends income into consideration.

One of my friends is living with her boyfriend for a few years. A months ago he became unemployed. She was telling me that it has been hard on both of them as she is the only earner and every cent has to be accounted for.
To be honest money worries can rule the strongest relationship.
Good Luck with the job hunt.