What a $hitty flight!

Johnny Utah

Ran out of jax roll on a long haul flight... :eek::eek::eek:

http://www.joe.ie/joe-life/life-features/holy-shi-long-haul-flight-runs-out-of-toilet-paper/

What would you do in such a predicament?

galwayrush

In before the flush.

SV

I'd use my hand, probably.

I usually have quite clean ones though, yknow, maximum 2 wipes. Sometimes no wipes, they're the best.

GTDolanator

SV wrote: »

I'd use my hand, probably.

I usually have quite clean ones though, yknow, maximum 2 wipes. Sometimes no wipes, they're the best.

The ones ya just pinch out cleanly

the keen edge

Wipe your arse of the ceiling, obviously.

Marsden

Just pull up your bags and go around with the wiff o sh1te on ye.

IM0

in fairness heads should roll for that one, thats not on, ick, talk about an over ****e :eek:

KeithM89

Newspaper. They usually keep a bunch up in first class.
Or if theres any clamshells on board....

jd007

Shit thread

Voltex

Bring your knees up to your chest...then squat and pump...if your lucky there will be little skin contact.

Johnny Utah

Maybe they should start charging people to use the jax, and also a charge per sheet used as well... maybe people wouldn't be so wasteful then!

IM0

Voltex wrote: »

Bring your knees up to your chest...then squat and pump...if your lucky there will be little skin contact.

youve done this before I see

IM0

trying to remember from my longhaul flights, which was worse, the smell of ****e or the smell of **** in jax. when your on a metal tube with no exit for 10 hours and limited entertainment fapping become part of the routine to raise the endorpins again and stave off boredom Id say

smileyj1987

In fairness you could have used your jocks to wipe and go commando if you badly needed to go .

The Backwards Man

Piss and **** go all over the shop on a transatlantic plane toilet anyway, no toilet paper wouldn't make much difference.

Katunga

Don't be giving Ryanair any ideas to charge for toilet paper.

Lando Griffin

I would have asked for some dinner and used the napkins.

IM0

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Piss and **** go all over the shop on a transatlantic plane toilet anyway, no toilet paper wouldn't make much difference.

I know, they make portaloo at a festival look civilised

Zebra3

Katunga wrote: »

Don't be giving Ryanair any ideas to charge for toilet paper.

Yeah, I'd say O'Leary has a hard on reading about that.

Conmaicne Mara

In flight magazine.

jester77

I've had plenty of 12+ hour flights and never once had to take a mile high sh*t. I make sure and have one before boarding, airplane toilets can get a little nasty 8 or 9 hours in plus you always feel under pressure due to the line outside and you don't want to be that person that leaves a stinker.

oppenheimer1

Another quality article brought to you by the good people at joe.ie :rolleyes:

Senna

So the passengers were given napkins rather than toilet paper, Oh the humanity!!!

TheUsual

Kid's colouring books.

Wacker The Attacker

scrape your arse with the door handle

Wacker The Attacker

Zebra3 wrote: »

Yeah, I'd say O'Leary has a hard on reading about that.

and a wide on

NinjaTruncs

Find the closest parent with an infant and mug them for their baby wipes. Then set up shop selling them outside the toilets.

NegativeCreep

IM0 wrote: »

trying to remember from my longhaul flights, which was worse, the smell of ****e or the smell of **** in jax. when your on a metal tube with no exit for 10 hours and limited entertainment fapping become part of the routine to raise the endorpins again and stave off boredom Id say

Ehh what the hell does **** smell like??

Anyway, who shits on a plane? I'd wait thanks :L

the groutch

use the 3 seashells like everyone else

Mickey H

jester77 wrote: »

I've had plenty of 12+ hour flights and never once had to take a mile high sh*t. I make sure and have one before boarding, airplane toilets can get a little nasty 8 or 9 hours in plus you always feel under pressure due to the line outside and you don't want to be that person that leaves a stinker.

Or a streaker. That's nearly worse.

Voltex

..ya could have just popped open the door called over a stewardess, explained that you are in the middle of taking a dump and noticed the lack of bogroll and politely asked her bring you a new roll. It would probably be a lot less awkward than walking out with sticky jocks and a rotten smelling arse!

keelanj69

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Ehh what the hell does **** smell like??

Anyway, who shits on a plane? I'd wait thanks :L

Do you not ever get the smell of a Jizz-Bomb when passing certain bushes or hedges, no?

Anyone?

..........

discus

keelanj69 wrote: »

Do you not ever get the smell of a Jizz-Bomb when passing certain bushes or hedges, no?

Anyone?

..........

Yeah, there's hedges where I live that smell like semen when it's hot, I was running with my mates and it took a few times to decide that it was the hedges and not... one of us!

keelanj69

discus wrote: »

Yeah, there's hedges where I live that smell like semen when it's hot, I was running with my mates and it took a few times to decide that it was the hedges and not... one of us!

I bet you all looked at that one guy who doesnt shower much.

Carnegie

Hate having to take a sh1te on a flight. Last time I was on a long haul I went into the jacks ready to explode all over the shop, but there was 2 hot stewardesses outside the door, they were literally 3 feet away from my naked ass. I could clearly hear them and so I couldn't perform under pressure. In the end I just let out a really long silent fart, it went on for about a minute. I had to wait an extra 2 minutes for the smell to go away before leaving.

Aglomerado

Voltex wrote: »

..ya could have just popped open the door called over a stewardess, explained that you are in the middle of taking a dump and noticed the lack of bogroll and politely asked her bring you a new roll. It would probably be a lot less awkward than walking out with sticky jocks and a rotten smelling arse!

Thanks for the laugh, this has made my morning!

Crooked Jack

I got caught out once. used my socks.

Hoop66

You get in, lock the door and turn around.
And there it is.
A wee jobby,
A wee beige smiling thing.
You flush and flush and flush
But it won't go away.
You try to batter it to death with paper towels
But it won't go away.

And you can't leave
Cos if there's a fella waiting outside
You can't say "that's not mine"
Co's he'll say "Oh? How do you know?
Have yours got your name on them or something?"

electrobanana

Hot towel please stewardess...actually make that two.

Johnny Utah

Crooked Jack wrote: »

I got caught out once. used my socks.

I'm intrigued... Tell us more Jack.

Aglomerado

Hoop66 wrote: »

You get in, lock the door and turn around.
And there it is.
A wee jobby,
A wee beige smiling thing.
You flush and flush and flush
But it won't go away.
You try to batter it to death with paper towels
But it won't go away.

And you can't leave
Cos if there's a fella waiting outside
You can't say "that's not mine"
Co's he'll say "Oh? How do you know?
Have yours got your name on them or something?"

I'd be worried about my diet if my jobbies were beige!! :pac: Apt username too!

hardCopy

Isn't this why they give people a free blanket on long haul flights?

Ruudi_Mentari

lemme guess..

you were sat next to Ke$ha

Crooked Jack

Johnny Utah wrote: »

I'm intrigued... Tell us more Jack.

There's really not much more to it than that. Exactly what sort of details are you looking

Tech3

Use the sink