Dating a girl who doesn't drink...

Encrustment

I've just started seeing a lovely lady, and this "issue" may sound petty, but she doesn't drink. I think this could cause problems because I love pints.

Are there any drinkers here going out with a teetotaller? What's it like? What happens when you get drunk with your friends etc. or having a few mid day beers of a sunny weekend?

Esoteric_

I dated a non drinker once. Never had any issues. Most non drinkers aren't anti-alcohol and won't begrudge you going on a night out and getting a bit drunk. They just choose not to drink.

Tigger99

I gave up drink for 2 months for fitness reasons. Didn't stop me going out with friends and having a laugh.

If I went out with someone that didn't drink it wouldn't bother me. I'd say it'll be grand OP

Edit: but everyone is different, play it by ear.

Stavro Mueller

Without being smart, none of us can really tell you that. If she's like most non-drinkers I've met, she'll be OK with you having your pints but none of us can say for sure. The only way you'll find out is by going out with her and seeing how she deals with it.

Emme

This issue could only arise in Ireland.

OP, see how you get on otherwise. If you're into going out and getting seriously drunk you might not be compatible with someone who doesn't drink.

Podgers

I went out with a girl that didn't even drink tea, nevermind alcohol. i found that harder to get used of

Some people don't need drink when they are out, which is a great way to be. If they don't mind you having your pints there shouldn't be a problem. I found myself drinking less when i was out with her, and the odd night i wouldn't drink so she wouldn't always be driving .

the advantages of going out with a non-drinker:

1) They can tell you what happened the night before (not always a good thing)
2) You don't have to be splashing out on expensive vodkas etc all night for them
3) You don't have to fork out for a taxi if they drive.

LegacyUser

OP, I am a girl and in different occasions I dated people who did not drink. I must say I found it very uncomfortable (and for the previous poster who said "only in Ireland", nope, I'm not Irish )

My ex went through a "detox"/"new age" phase in which he didn't drink. Light drinking and long conversations at a bar with friends was something we always enjoyed but he seemed to get restless/bored after a while and wanted to leave the place (maybe he needed the liquor to find our chats interesting? lol). After a few weeks of being stuck at home on Friday evenings playing board games he changed his mind though...

I'm currently dating a guy who doesn't drink. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to have more than a glass of wine when having dinner with him, in case I start opening up too much (telling a lot of personal stuff or getting all lovey dovey) or just acting goofy.

But as the others said, depends on the person and if she is not judgmental and is fine with things like this, should be ok.

bp

I don't drink (not even tea 😄) and have no issues with others drinking. I think drunk people are funny but do usually go home before the OH gets really drunk because then he is just an idiot (in a good way!) I drive the others home so they are safe and wake up fresh as a daisy!

Others drinking doesn't bother me at all but it is down to the girl in question.

ShaShaBear

It really does depend on why they do not drink.

I dated one guy who didn't drink because he was Straight Edge. Mind you, as it happened he wasn't the full shilling, and was very anti-drink (but not anti-cheating as it happened :P )

I myself don't drink at present for health reasons. I can drink, lets clear that up, and I like a drink. But for the most part I enjoy a night out more if I abstain. Without getting too gross, I get horrid pains in my chest and stomach (from trapped wind) that usually results in me getting sick and then sobering up). If I don't drink, I can dance all night, laugh at the jokes, get loads of good pictures and take note of all the hilarious stuff people say so that I can be a knut and remind them the next day My OH loves a drink, and he could put a pub back in business with the amount he goes through, and he's always had a good time out with me.

kjl

Hi OP,

I don't drink and have no issues with people who do drink. I love going out and normally am the last to leave. My advice would be don't try and force a drink on her. I find this very annoying from the 100's of people who offer me drink and try and force me to drink. I certainly don't need it from my SO.

Lenmeister

It's only an issue if you make it one. She doesn't drink but she's going out with you knowing you drink so it's not a problem to her. Why is it a problem for you? I go out with friends and don't drink many times. It's always a problem for the people who do drink that I don't, which is just childish imo. Because you're at a bar or whatever that you must have a drink. Rubbish. I will say though, that if you're hammered at the end of the night, it's quite boring trying to listen to and make out what you're saying. If you keep getting hammered all the time when you're with her, yes it will cause problems. Just cut back when you're out with her and I think you'll be good to go.

Snoopy1

Its only a problem if you turn it into one. Im a girl and i rarely drink. Boyfriend however is a big drinker. It has caused problems between us, he thinks im weird. Its got to the stage where he wont invite me anywhere he's going to drink because he thinks it will be awkward with me being sober.
I dont mind being sober, but he's causing the problems.
I think the previous poster is right, what harm is it to cut back a little bit when your out with her. By all means go mad when your on your own.

callmepetardu

She should respect the fact that you drink as much as you should respect the fact that she doesn't. If she's not a drinker, I'm sure she has friends who are so she's probably used to it.

I agree though, this is a typical Irish thing. :P

Boskowski

I know this may sound non-Irish high horseish but seriously why is that even an issue? Only in Ireland drinking or non-drinking seems to be a conscious lifestyle decision rather than a "sometimes I drink sometimes I don't I never thought about it" kind of thing.

The question really is. Is drinking or non drinking so important to you that you would put it over people or relationships? Especially when the girl apparently has no problem with you drinking?

She Who Dares Wins

Lucky you Id say. There seems to be few Irish women with much social confidence minus drink and the same seems to apply to fellas. Unless she's anti-alcohol or grew up with an alcoholic parent or something I doubt she has issues with social drinking.
Maybe just avoid regularly getting hammered when out with her, stick to a sociable amount so that she's not babysitting so to speak.

Ave Sodalis

kjl wrote: »

Hi OP,

I don't drink and have no issues with people who do drink. I love going out and normally am the last to leave. My advice would be don't try and force a drink on her. I find this very annoying from the 100's of people who offer me drink and try and force me to drink. I certainly don't need it from my SO.

^this!
I am also a girl who doesn't drink but I love going out. I don't mind drunk people (unless violent, obviously) and nearly prefer my friends going out drunk as they are miserable fun when sober :P I would be horrified if I thought a guy I was seeing had an issue with my soberness, because I wouldn't have an issue with my soberness or his drunkeness.
Don't, as said above, try and get her to drink and don't feel bad for her being sober. Just remember that some people don't need drink to have fun. Not drinking doesn't mean bored as it does for some people who drink regularly.
This is, as others have said, if she's not just anti-drink.

Eric Cartman

My missus doesn't drink and I drink 4-6 nights a week , absolutely no issues. Sure I met her first on paddys day Its not as much of a problem as people seem to think it is.

shy_boy

Im in a relationship with a.girl that dosent drink...there is no down falls to it... i could have a drink every other night at home or if we wanted to head to da pub on weekends we both can get home as she drives and dosent like drinkin but likes going out... ITS WIN WIN

Stench Blossoms

sup_dude wrote: »

^this!
I am also a girl who doesn't drink but I love going out. I don't mind drunk people (unless violent, obviously) and nearly prefer my friends going out drunk as they are miserable fun when sober :P I would be horrified if I thought a guy I was seeing had an issue with my soberness, because I wouldn't have an issue with my soberness or his drunkeness.
Don't, as said above, try and get her to drink and don't feel bad for her being sober. Just remember that some people don't need drink to have fun. Not drinking doesn't mean bored as it does for some people who drink regularly.
This is, as others have said, if she's not just anti-drink.

I'm the same. I don't drink but I can still go out and have fun without it. If someone kept telling me to have a drink though I'd get pretty annoyed.

Gael23

I went through a period where I couldn't drink for medical reasons and in that time I got used to having a good time without it so ever since then I hardly ever do.
I still do most things drinkers would do but one thing I would say is I do get tired earlier as I think alcohol provides you with a sort of energy that I don't get. I don't like being around people that drink excessively but have no issue going out for a night, in fact I'm just home from my work weekly night out.

Ericaa

I'm with someone who's straight edge. The only affect that it's had on me is that I drink less now!

Snoopy1

ryanf1 wrote: »

I went through a period where I couldn't drink for medical reasons and in that time I got used to having a good time without it so ever since then I hardly ever do.
I still do most things drinkers would do but one thing I would say is I do get tired earlier as I think alcohol provides you with a sort of energy that I don't get. I don't like being around people that drink excessively but have no issue going out for a night, in fact I'm just home from my work weekly night out.

I totally agree with you. I think alcohol gives you this feeling that your wide awake, whereas when we dont drink, i notice im tired earlier, and wouldnt last a whole night.

Honey-ec

It really depends on the person and their own feelings towards alcohol/reasons for not drinking. I would very rarely go out and get hammered, but I drink wine every day with dinner. I grew up in a house where we all had dinner together every single evening, and wine was always part of the equation. This is the norm for me and tbh I much prefer that to going out and getting hammered once or twice a week. However, I have met non-drinkers who think this is a huge problem, and that has caused issues. But, on the other hand, I've also met non-drinkers who don't have an issue with it at all. Like I said, it just depends on the individual.

My advice would be to give it another while and just see how you get on. If she's raising her eyebrow every time you have a drink, then it's probably not going to work, but you won't know unless you give her a chance.