Can't find courage to make phone call to friend

LegacyUser

I made a good friend through a course I did and want to keep in contact but don't have the cojones to ring him.

I'm 21 and not used to having friends (haven't even been inside a pub since I was a kid). He is around the same age and sounds like he has a few friends already himself (as you'd expect really) so naturally the pressure to stay in touch rests more on me as I need it more, although I know he likes me. Obviously I won't tell him I have no (non-family) friends!

I have texted him but he sent me a call me. I spent ages writing down stuff thinking of what to say as I have awful mind blankness on the phone, but can't muster up the courage.

Any tips?

Big Bag of Chips

If you got on well with him on the course, then there's no reason you won't get on well on the phone.

Being on the phone can sometimes feel a bit awkward. But remember there are 2 of you in the conversation, and if he is chatty and confident he will probably carry the conversation a good bit.

There is nothing bad that can happen if you ring him, even if it is a bit awkward. But if you don't ring him, you risk losing touch with a potentially great friend.

Give him a quick call. Maybe arrange to meet up with him somewhere. And have your excuse ready to suddenly 'have to go' if you feel it getting too much for you.

Sometimes we need to 'feel the fear... And do it anyway'. It's the only way that we can grow.

Good luck.

Lorna123

If you don't want to phone just text him to meet up with you somewhere and just say you don't use the phone for long conversations but that you would love to see him again. You could suggest a time and place but say that you are open to suggestions from him. That should do it.

JustAThought

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

If you got on well with him on the course, then there's no reason you won't get on well on the phone.

Being on the phone can sometimes feel a bit awkward. But remember there are 2 of you in the conversation, and if he is chatty and confident he will probably carry the conversation a good bit.

There is nothing bad that can happen if you ring him, even if it is a bit awkward. But if you don't ring him, you risk losing touch with a potentially great friend.

Give him a quick call. Maybe arrange to meet up with him somewhere. And have your excuse ready to suddenly 'have to go' if you feel it getting too much for you.

Sometimes we need to 'feel the fear... And do it anyway'. It's the only way that we can grow.

Good luck.

If you've just finished a course you will have something in common to discuss! See if you can arrange to meet up & hang out -not sure if it's a male/make or female/male situation -suggest a drink or coffee for catch-up - ask him/her when where suites & relax into it!!! Not everyone is easy with making friends -the key is to be relaxed & not stress too much over it!!!!

DoozerT6

Have you ever seen 'I Love You, Man'? It has the cringiest phone call EVER in it, where the main character leaves a voicemail for a guy he wants to make friends with, trying to arrange to meet up with him...check it out on youtube. As long as it doesn't go like THAT, I think you're laughing!

Seriously though, making a social phone call to someone you don't really know very well is a bit nerve-wracking at the best of times, hence why so many people just text. It might be no harm just to jot down a couple of pointers for conversation in case things go a bit quiet - things like 'hey have you seen (mutual acquaintance from your course)', or even something about a particular band you know he's into (upcoming gig maybe? Great excuse to meet up!). Think about a couple of things you have in common, such as both being ABU supporters, into computer games, or whatever. The trick is to make things flow, and not sound like you're trying to get through a 'checklist' of topics.

Presumably if you want to remain friends with this guy, you already have a few things in common, otherwise why would you bother? Work on those angles, and if you do end up spending time with him, then naturally you will have more to talk about, as you will have more shared experiences.

I would advise against building your ENTIRE social life around this guy though if ye hit it off as mates - you say he has other friends, respect that - perhaps you will become part of his group? Might be no harm to work on other friendships too so it works both ways, you can introduce him to people you know. If in the meantime he (or anyone!) comments on your lack of other friends, you could trot out the old excuse of "losing touch with old friends from secondary school <this happens all the time>, and not really gelling with anyone from college, so just making up for lost time by getting out there and getting to know people, cos everyone needs a few mates". Far from making you look like a billy no-mates, you'll look like someone who realises that other people are important additions to your life and are being proactive about building up a network of friends. Surprisingly, this often just doesn't happen organically. Most people have to work at making friends, especially once we leave school.

Best of luck!