Rotten Tomatoes Funny Reviews for bad films

pookiesboo

Does anyone else go on this website just purely to read the bad reviews for bad films?! Ive been typing in the titles of bad films to the website just to read the awful reviews they give terrible movies and the reviews are hilarious! For e.g.

After Earth

Stay home. Paint something. Watch it dry. It'll be more rewarding.

The Last Airbender

Being a Shyamalan film, the entire cast (which also includes Slumdog Millionaire star Dev Patel as an exiled Fire Prince) recite their looney-tunes lines as if they have been drugged, then hypnotised, then drugged again.

The Internship

One of the most conventional comedies ever filmed. ... They should have called it 'Comedy Movie: The Movie.'

A Haunted House

This is the first film I've seen that depicts rape perpetrated by a bisexual, weed-smoking ghost, and probably the last.

Identity Thief

The film is painfully unfunny, almost literally so

A Good Day to Die Hard

Bruce Willis looked pretty tired by the end of the film. I know how he felt.

Twilight Eclipse

Edward is cold and controlling: the archetype of an abusive partner and Jacob just acts like a rapist in training, he keeps trying to kiss Bella against her will.

Sex and the City 2

Samantha does everything but draw a picture of the Prophet Muhammad on a pair of crotchless panties.

The Last Exorcism 2

Viewers are taunted with the possibility of witnessing a possessed chicken.

Texas Chainsaw

you might want to imagine I'm wielding a chainsaw that's making the noise rrrrrrrrrrrLLLLLLLLL! And that, as I write, I'm chopping up the three scriptwriters and three story writers on the grounds of over-manning (ditto, nine producers).

The Last Song

The "last song"? In all conscience, that should really have been Billy Ray's Achy Breaky Heart in a brooding minor key. You'll feel the ache and hear the break.

Transformers 3

'I am the enemy of Decepticons and body hair, and I intend to remove both with lasers!' said Rosie.

Movie 43

To fully enjoy yourself from start to finish, it will help if you've got the sense of humor of a middle-school-aged sociopath... For the rest of you, I suggest eventually watching it on your phone.

The Happening

Wahlberg is atrocious, as wooden as the trees terrorising him.

FlashD

pookiesboo wrote: »

Does anyone else go on this website just purely to read the bad reviews for bad films?! Ive been typing in the titles of bad films to the website just to read the awful reviews they give terrible movies and the reviews are hilarious!

Sometimes, although your just as likely to find the same on Boards, you can have a bit of banter with posters here too.

Opinions are great!

daveyeh

All of those films are $hit

pookiesboo

daveyeh wrote: »

All of those films are $hit

I know, I just find the reviews funny, thats why its all ****e films Ive listed. The clue is in the name of the thread!

Basq

I used to find it funny to find an acclaimed movie (both critically and by audiences) and find the few negative reviews it has and read "pissed off fanboys" personally criticise the reviewer!

The Dark Knight Rises changed all that though..

daveyeh

pookiesboo wrote: »

I know, I just find the reviews funny

Yeah they are, I thought that was the purpose of that website.

pookiesboo

daveyeh wrote: »

Yeah they are, I thought that was the purpose of that website.

No they give positive reviews also

krudler

Good reviews of bad movies are often more entertaining than the films themselves. Mark Kermode's annihilation of the Tranformers sequels are hilarious.

I'd much rather read a well thought criticism of something instead of fanboy ranting bordering on youtube comment level criticism though.

missingtime

krudler wrote: »

Good reviews of bad movies are often more entertaining than the films themselves. Mark Kermode's annihilation of the Tranformers sequels are hilarious.

I'd much rather read a well thought criticism of something instead of fanboy ranting bordering on youtube comment level criticism though.

Indeed.

I re-watched the Plinkett reviews of Star Wars and Indiana Jones recently and was cracking up just how bad they actually were and how well he rips them to shreds.

krudler

krudler wrote: »

Good reviews of bad movies are often more entertaining than the films themselves. Mark Kermode's annihilation of the Tranformers sequels are hilarious.

I'd much rather read a well thought criticism of something instead of fanboy ranting bordering on youtube comment level criticism though.

His ones of Angels and Demons, Pirate of the Caribbean 3, and Sex and the City 1/2 are similarly wonderful.

I think he's started to suffer from his own rantiness though. They were so fantastic that when a bad movie comes out, people almost expect him to go off on a rant and you can tell sometimes that this gets to him; he must feel like a preforming monkey and this isn't what he does.

hfallada

OP the sex and the city review is the funniest. But I think the funniest reviews are the **** they write in the papers. Like a enjoyable movie or rewarding ending but when you go to see the movie because the review was good. However it turns out to be nothing but ****

pookiesboo

krudler wrote: »

Good reviews of bad movies are often more entertaining than the films themselves. Mark Kermode's annihilation of the Tranformers sequels are hilarious.

I'd much rather read a well thought criticism of something instead of fanboy ranting bordering on youtube comment level criticism though.

Robbie Collin for the Daily Telegraph is always worth a read also, very witty!

e_e

To me Siskel & Ebert will always be the masters of ripping apart rubbish films.

Da Shins Kelly

Ebert's review of Freddy Got Fingered is still up there as one of my favourites:

"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

He did another great one about Last Rites:

"Was there no one connected with this project who read the screenplay, considered the story, evaluated the proposed film and vomited?"