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How to support an alcoholic while they detox and what to expect

  • 18-06-2013 2:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Regular poster here but would prefer to stay anon for now. My husband's sister suffers from depression and is an alcoholic (she is drinking about four bottles of wine a day) and has finally sought the help she needs for her boozing. She is starting a home detox programme next week (under the supervision of close family and a daily visit from a nurse) and will be taking Librium. I'm not seeking medical advice but we don't live near her and I need some advice. What can we a. expect that first week or two to be like and b. what can we do to support her? I've no experience of alcoholism, my husband is devastated by it all and I'd like to be armed with as much knowledge as possible so we know what to expect and how to support her. Any advice very much appreciated - thank you.


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Can I remind posters per our charter and as noted in the OP please refrain from offering medical advice.

    Thanks
    Taltos


  • #3
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    It would be a good idea for you and your husband to go to an Alanon meeting, you should be able to find one near you tonight or tomorrow.

    Alanon gives you the tools to cope with someone elses alcoholism. Its more a long term program though and in terms of your immediate need I would suggest you phone either AA, and speak with an actual reformed alcoholic who can give you their experience or somewhere like The Rutland Centre who will be able to advise you on the physical and emotional aspects of a detox.

    Your own family doctor might be useful also.

    Unfortunately my alcoholic never got to the stage of stopping, so I never supported someone through it - much as I wanted to! But I would think that I would treat it as someone recovering from an illness, and be emotionally supportive, be ready to listen to rants about life, be prepared for underlying issues to come to the fore, be ready for denial and "itll be ok to just have one drink" etc.. There may well be physical aspects that exercise could help with, just to get a bit of fresh air and take the mind off things. Good hydration and a clean diet will help too - as would after any period of illness.

    I would strongly advise you to advise the alcoholic to get professional support, through their GP or support group of some kind - oh, sorry, I see a nurse is assisting. A support group might be good too.


  • #4
    whatdoicare
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭whatdoicare


    I was there all through when my mam detoxed about four years ago and all I can say to you is:

    *Go to all the al anon meetings you can- be prepared to be absolutely drained afterwards both physically and mentally. Don't be afraid to say what you feel, it will help! Make sure you have something nice to look forward to after - we used to get a take away and a dvd on the nights after we went to visit.

    *Be prepared for the alcoholic to hurl absolutely heart breaking abuse and lies at you and your family at every meeting. The anger you will see will be unreal. Let everything they say go, take none of it personally - it's basically the person having to deal with feelings without a buffer for the first time in a long time. If you have children DO NOT bring them to visit! We made this mistake and they got to witness the anger - it really is no holds barred and the alcoholic will not care who is there to witness it.

    *Look after yourself first and foremost. Never forget this. The alcoholic can no longer come first in your life. You must carry on with your life as normally as you can and never cancel or change anything for them. If you have an occasion booked - go to it, pass no apology. This is one of the first things Alanon will tell you. It is much easier said than done. Believe me.

    *Don't expect it to work and do not blame yourself for it not working - the only person who can make this work is the alcoholic and it is 100% up to them and only them. It sounds harsh but it is the only way.


    Hope this helps somewhat, although I understand that nothing will prepare you for this journey - all I can really say is, best of luck and I hope you take my advice and look after yourself. :)


  • #5
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    whatdoicare wrote: »
    *Don't expect it to work and do not blame yourself for it not working - the only person who can make this work is the alcoholic and it is 100% up to them and only them. It sounds harsh but it is the only way.

    Great post, and just want to echo this point - I used to think I had the answers and Id just explain how things were and itd all be sorted. Not so. Addiction is the most powerfully frightening force Ive ever seen at work in a person. And youve no control over it, none at all.


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