Proposing at a wedding..

StevieNicksFan

Feel free to move this to another forum..unsure where is appropriate!

Ok so basically a male friend of mine is planning to propose to his gf at the weekend at a wedding reception they are attending. Now this is entirely his choice but I know if I was the bride, i'd be slightly annoyed that another couple were 'stealing my thunder' as it were. Plus, his girlfriend would be quite shy by nature and I have a feeling that she could be quite embarrassed because of this, even though I know she would definately say yes.

He's a really sound guy and I know he means well, but Im thinking it could ruffle a few feathers. Am I best saying nothing and let him do his own thing, or should I gently suggest that the timing for this may not be as special as he plans? I will not be attending the wedding in question. What are your thoughts?

Stavro Mueller

Well, if it was me I'd say something to the friend. I've no idea if proposing at a wedding is a social gaffe but my gut reaction is to think it is. Like a guest turning up at a wedding wearing a white dress.

Froggy123

I would definitely tell him that this is a very bad idea, if he plans to propose at the actual afters to the wedding.

though I'd say its more that him and his girlfriend are possibly going away for the weekend and maybe he thinks that where there going will be a romantic setting!

KKkitty

Maybe if it's done with just the two of them in a room or whatever it should be fine but they could hold off telling others til the wedding is over.

ABajaninCork

No, no, no, no, no. I can't say this often enough!!

This is a very bad idea. I think it's rude and beyond tacky, quite frankly. Why can't he leave the other couple alone to enjoy their day? Tell him to propose somewhere else and make it special to THEM. Not riding shotgun on someone else's day!

IrishEyes19

if someone did that on my day, Id be really annoyed. I know people can get really pent up about just one day, but to be perfectly honest, putting all that time, effort and money into the day, to have it over taken by something like that would be horrid.

how well does he know the couple, would be know most of the guests. Im just asking because does he expect then all the mutual friends to turn around and be all joyful and congratulating him in front of the bride and groom. the more I write this the lousier is seems. I would talk to him and set him straight, I cant see the couple ever forgiving him if he does this publically. its quite low.

Merkin

It would be like bursting into song or farting at a funeral.No, just no.It would be rude, entirely inappropriate and they risk falling out with the people getting married. You definitely need to say something, it's a big no no.

Neyite

It will be a pretty big social faux-pas and depending on the how bridezilla the bride is, could ruin a friendship long term. I would be very unbridezilla but I'd be annoyed that the celebration that I planned and paid for gets hijacked by another couple and I would view it as attention seeking.

It is actually quite selfish of him to do this. If he chooses to propose that day I would suggest they keep it a secret until all the guests are gone the following day.

tinkerbell

^ what everybody else said. OP, you need to say something!!! I wasn't a bridezilla but I would be extremely annoyed if a guest at my wedding decided to use that day to propose themselves. It is the height of rudeness, extremely ignorant and just downright distasteful. It's the ONE day that the bride and groom have as their special day. Your friend has 364 other days in the year to propose, it is so selfish that he wants to just hijack somebody else's day.

Also, thinking from the gf's point of view, if I were her I would be extremely annoyed if he proposed at somebody else's wedding reception. It just shows that he couldn't give a crap, went to no thought whatsoever and instead just decided to do it and to hell with ruining somebody else's day. Forever it will be tarred with the brush "proposed to at somebody else's wedding, what bad form". Say something to your friend.

Chocoholic84

God, does this lad have an ounce of cop on at all? Why would he think it's ok to propose to someone at someone else's wedding? I wonder about people sometimes...

OP, you gotta tell him under no circumstances should he do this! It really is the height of rudeness!

username123

Absolutely no way.

I think an ex of mine proposed to his now wife that way. I honestly cant think of a tackier, more self involved way to propose. Does he not realise he is an invited guest at someone elses special day? Its not about him, but about them? Perhaps he suffers from some kind of social autism, because how anyone can think this is a good idea is beyond me.

ABajaninCork

OP - Why don't you show your mate this thread? So many people can't be wrong!!!

username123

ABajaninCork wrote: »

OP - Why don't you show your mate this thread? So many people can't be wrong!!!

Tis rare to see such consistent agreement on the boards alright!

ladygirl

I cannot believe what I am reading!! :eek: Please Please Please have a word with him ASAP.. As another poster said there are another 364 days of the year for him to propose!! If I were the bride I would be furious that someone would hijack my day like this... totally disrespectful...

Snoopy1

This is a bad idea.
Personally i couldnt care if the bride was upset, but think of the girlfriend. If shes shy she's not going to want a whole group of people being there. A propasal at a wedding, sounds like someone who has put no thought into anything. Now im not one for romantic gestures, but you have every other day in the year to propose.

Da Shins Kelly

Just no.

ElleEm

That is one of the worst idea I have ever heard- and that includes knowing someone who proposed the day of a girl's uncle's funeral to "make her feel better", and a guy who proposed with a cheapo engagement ring for a girl's birthday as he didn't know what else to get her.

I certainly wouldn't be a bridezilla type, but I would go NUTS if someone got engaged at my wedding. The story of the engagement will be told to friends, family, neighbours and colleagues, and I would be surprised if anyone thought it was a sweet way to propose.

ABajaninCork

ElleEm wrote: »

That is one of the worst idea I have ever heard- and that includes knowing someone who proposed the day of a girl's uncle's funeral to "make her feel better", and a guy who proposed with a cheapo engagement ring for a girl's birthday as he didn't know what else to get her.

:eek: Seriously??? WTF is wrong with some people? :eek:

Taltos

ABajaninCork wrote: »

:eek: Seriously??? WTF is wrong with some people? :eek:

And on that rather succinct piece of advice it is time to close this thread OP.

I think without doubt you have the answer you were seeking here.
Hope you manage to talk some sense into your friend before it's too late and he potentially not only ruins a romantic moment for his better half but also the wedding as well.

Thanks
Taltos