Shall I attract an intelligent man by my brains or my physical lookings?

Ellery

I know well I am wildly attracted to intelligence in men, which I find to be super sexy.

Do they go for women who are also intelligent, or do they go for women who are more physically attractive and sweet? Which of the factors play the dominant role here?

I have been hearing contradicting advice on teaching women like me to be:
1. Strong and independent, well accomplished, educated, and travelled etc. etc.
2. Focus on my physical appearances the most as well as my sweetness instead, for that is what men really care about.

I have also been hearing contradicting opinions on mating rules known as:
1. Likeness attracts, which means smart people go for smart people, rich ones go for rich ones, pretty ones go for pretty ones etc. etc.
2. Complements attracts, which means successful men go for pretty women, and pretty women go for successful men....

So I am confused, really confused.

But to get back to my point, if I want to be desirable by very intelligent men, as that is what I know I am attracted to, should I focus more on improving my achievements/intelligence or should I focus more on improving my physical appearance and sweetness in order to do so?

Thanks in advance.

December2012

Personally I think both are very important. Satisfy your thirst for knowledge but also aim to be a nice pleasant person, happy and confident.

I like to look nice for myself, it's a way I get confidence but its not the only way.

Intelligence and good looks are not mutually exclusive. My husband is very brainy but I was attracted to him because of his looks and personality.

judgefudge

You're over thinking it I think... When it comes down to it there is no blanket ideal that intelligent men go for. I work in research and have seen very intelligent men who are after nothing but a good looking good-time girl. Also I've seen others who tend to date intelligent women for long periods.

It really depends on the guy. All you can do is take care of your appearance, and I'm assuming you're intelligent enough if you are attracted to intelligence.

There's nothing to say you can't be pretty and intelligent.

jdsk2006

A healthy combination of everything i would think bit ultimately attraction boils down to chemistry. focusing too much any one aspect of yourself or your appearance will tire you out and navigate you awsy from your true self.....afterall just being yourself is the safest bet to attract a life partner imo

Czarcasm

Ellery wrote: »

But to get back to my point, if I want to be desirable by very intelligent men, as that is what I know I am attracted to, should I focus more on improving my achievements/intelligence or should I focus more on improving my physical appearance and sweetness in order to do so?

Thanks in advance.

OP might I ask what age are you? I'm quite frankly bewildered by the fact that you've missed out on a quality that intelligent (depends on your perspective of intelligence, but that's a whole other thread. I'm just going to presume you mean academically intellectual) men will ACTUALLY find attractive -

self confidence!

Honestly, men are attracted to all different types of physical attributes, all different types of mental abilities, there's no possible way in this world you could make yourself attractive to those whom you consider intelligent men. They're either attracted to you, or they're not. There's no particular formula they employ when it comes to finding a girl attractive or not. They all have different tastes.

What you CAN do, however, is make an effort to do all these things anyway, but not for other men - do it for YOURSELF! By educating yourself and looking after your physical appearance and mental well being, your confidence in yourself and your security in yourself increases exponentially, and that's what makes you attractive to people, not just "intelligent men".

Steven999

Hmmm. Two responses come to mind.

One based on what I see of the world around me.

The other based on my personal experience of being an extremely intelligent person.

Of course the first response likely has the most blanket weight to it though the existentialists may shun me for saying such.


So..my first response. Those contradicting rules/advice you mentioned are both 'true' in the they are composed of different people's subjective experiences in the world. Personally from looking at the world around me, I would say that, in general, females are attracted to 'successful' males(meaning one's money/status component) whereas males are attracted to 'pretty' women('pretty' meaning the ol' Darwinian signals of one's ability to carry a healthy child successfully to term). These are just my personal observances from looking at human mating history in general(and from thinking while staring out a bus window). And as with any 'general' observance, idiosyncratic cases tend to become lost in the ether...


My personal life history response? There are many things about a person that I may be attracted to. Some deep and meaningful, some rather trivial. The more of these a person has, the more I hope to get to see that person.

For my part, I have found my intelligence to be kind of an indirect burden to my dating prospects. For various reasons it has led me to cast a largely critical eye on casting about for social status. Which indirectly 'hurts' my chances in the dating game, go figure... :P

Use your confidence, your wit, your personality, your looks, your body, your brain ... use everything. You can't oversimplify men, because everyone is different.

But whatever else, just be yourself. Don't change for anyone else.

meeeeh

Hehe
I've been around quite a few inteligent men. No special achievent on my part, mostly just an enrollment policy in my high school. Most of them are attracted to girls they have something in common with. I met my partner because we like the same sport and we clicked. I know he is quite a bit smarter than I am but I doubt it's my looks either. We are not bored in each others company. That's all, there is no big rule.

Ickle Magoo

Think as a general question this is better suited to the anthropology forum in which you also posed it.

As multi-posting across forums isn't permitted and this isn't a PI, I'll lock.

All the best