Not my decision..but panicking regardless

DjangoMc

Will try to keep this short...
Older brother doesn’t talk to me or my younger brother. He hasn’t spoken to either of us in a year. I sent older bro and his fiancé an invite to my wedding, they RSVP’d no. I still kept a space at the wedding just in case, but he never came.



Now I heard something about older brother organised his wedding. I’m not a nosy person, so I don’t ask any family members about him (our parents are both dead)



He rang younger brother up today to talk about the stag and the wedding. Younger brother has told me he doesn’t want to go to the stag (being he is only 17 and wouldn’t be allowed in anywhere) but younger brother has booked a holiday to Spain, flying out the day before older brother’s wedding.



He told younger brother he is a groom’s man, just out of the blue. The last time he spoke to Younger bro he called him an ungrateful little boll** and that was a year ago and he hasn’t heard from him since.



Younger bro is going to tell him he isn’t going the wedding. I respect his decision, but I’m afraid of the backlash younger bro will get and also me. I’ll get the blame regardless of having no hand in the decision.



What would any of you do? Younger bro has said why should he do anything for him when he hasn’t spoken to him in a year and the one time I asked older brother to help out the refused flat out. Older bro only uses people when it suits him or when he wants something then just tosses them aside.



I’m actually in a panic over this.

Toto Wolfcastle

Sounds like the younger brother has the situation in hand. If the older brother says anything to you about it just say it's nothing to do with you and leave it at that.

DjangoMc

I suppose I just worry about him. He's is so nice and laid back. Think I'm just protective of him since I'm his guardian.
Its just a mad situation.

username123

Im not really sure I see the problem? Just tell older brother that younger brother makes his own decisions and not to involve you if he asks.

jdsk2006

Devils advocate here op but are you absolutely sure to be sure that you have no hand in younger bros choice to not attend wedding? I ask cos I'm sure since both parents are deceased you guys are probably very close and rely on eachother, and maybe at 17 and possibly slightly immature he may feel the need to stay loyal to you by not being groomsman and now not attending wedding.
I don't mean to insult you but I have to say the situation very much reads to me that it's you older brother has issue with and now that's spilled over onto the relationship between the two lads.......of course I could be wrong I'm just throwing that ball in the air for you to reflect on.

DjangoMc

I understand where your coming from Jdsk, younger bro is very independent.
We wouldn't be mad close, coz I've had to be the decision maker since our parents died and he was only 15 when that happened so he had to get use to that and rebelled (like most teenagers)

But in all honesty I had no hand in it. He booked it by himself then only told me afterwards. It's his choice and I really do respect that.

I don't talk about older bro. He's none of my business anymore. He's done awful things which I can never forgive him for but I don't impress them onto younger bro. He has formed his own opinion.

My just don't want trouble for younger brother. Some family members might give out hell to him and I don't want that.

jdsk2006

Well then it really is clear cut - nothing to do with you. It will pass over