Are parents taking the fun out of sport?

Letyourselfgo

Interesting article and if I'm being honest, I'm guilty on at least 1 count.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/the-real-reason-why-our-kids-quit-sport/story-e6frerdf-1226645601355

RayCun

in a similar vein
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-05-30/that-s-not-coaching-it-s-child-abuse-.html

average_runner

I believe you should always encourage the child, even if they dont win or come last, make them feel good. They learn nothing if they finish first or win everything as a child.

But if a child wants to quit a sport let them, its not your life they are living.

Letyourselfgo

average_runner wrote: »

I believe you should always encourage the child, even if they dont win or come last, make them feel good. They learn nothing if they finish first or win everything as a child.

Always encourage but at the same time be honest (I think) if they've made a mistake surely they need to know so as to try and correct it next time out?

average_runner wrote: »

But if a child wants to quit a sport let them, its not your life they are living.

They can quit a sport but must take up another (at least for the period they are in school).

Also regardless of win, lose or draw we always end up in McDonalds on our way home from Santry a bit of associative behaviour

Pisco Sour

In one of my 400m races last season there was a 13 year old kid in the sane race and he ran a 59. That's incredible for a child (I don't think 13 year olds should be running 400m but that's a different topic entirely) yet his moody father was not altogether over the moon. He wanted him to get a 57 and told me he has high hopes for him to be 52 within a year. WTF is wrong with some people. Leave the bloody kid alone and let him enjoy the sport before all his affection for it is irrepairably broken.

RayCun

Letyourselfgo wrote: »

Always encourage but at the same time be honest (I think) if they've made a mistake surely they need to know so as to try and correct it next time out?

One thing we were told on some course was that all your feedback immediately after the race should be positive, tell them what they did well and what you're happy with. Hold on to the negative feedback/constructive criticism until your next training session.

RoyMcC

Pisco Sour wrote: »

In one of my 400m races last season there was a 13 year old kid in the sane race and he ran a 59. That's incredible for a child (I don't think 13 year olds should be running 400m but that's a different topic entirely) yet his moody father was not altogether over the moon. He wanted him to get a 57 and told me he has high hopes for him to be 52 within a year. WTF is wrong with some people. Leave the bloody kid alone and let him enjoy the sport before all his affection for it is irrepairably broken.

My heart sinks to read that. The child is pretty likely not to be running at all within a year. The only hope he's got is if his father butts out and leaves him in the hands of an experienced coach who understands both the physiology and psychology of a growing child.

Before very much longer, if not picking up injuries, he'll run poorly. Dad will yell at him more, the child will do his best but will eventually start to hate training and racing. Then he'll see his mates playing soccer or Aussie Rules or something and that will be the end of it.

The original article is quite sad. Generally I think we're fortunate in athletics that parents are generally supportive of coaches and officials. Team sports have a real issue there.

Letyourselfgo

RayCun wrote: »

One thing we were told on some course was that all your feedback immediately after the race should be positive, tell them what they did well and what you're happy with. Hold on to the negative feedback/constructive criticism until your next training session.

Totally agree.

average_runner

Letyourselfgo wrote: »

Always encourage but at the same time be honest (I think) if they've made a mistake surely they need to know so as to try and correct it next time out?


They can quit a sport but must take up another (at least for the period they are in school).

Also regardless of win, lose or draw we always end up in McDonalds on our way home from Santry a bit of associative behaviour

Even if they made a mistake don't give out to them. This is what is killing kids from improving in sport. If they take a risk or do something creative in a team sport and it doesn't work out, it should be encourage for trying something like that.

When i was a tennis coach this was something i was always careful about, a kid would try something new and not work out, but it will sometime if they trying.

If a kids decides to quit a sport, don't make them pick a new one, they will in time pick something if they are into sport. You can encourage activities but don't force.

That's my two cent, might not sit well with everyone.

shels4ever

RoyMcC wrote: »

My heart sinks to read that. The child is pretty likely not to be running at all within a year. The only hope he's got is if his father butts out and leaves him in the hands of an experienced coach who understands both the physiology and psychology of a growing child.

When I school I trained with a girl who had won many national schools titles junior/senior , and had lots of offers from the US. I had trained with her for years and her father was a nightmare, when she lost a race he's shout and roar I always remember this.
Also remember been pulled aside when running a cross country relay maybe u13/14 and told that I let the team down.. that still stings.
Finally it came to her last year before going to the US and she decided to pack it in, just didn't enjoy the sport any more. She said that it hadn't been fun for years.
Coaches can coach but parents are there 24x7 and can either make you love the sport or drain all the goodness out of it. I used to ban my parents from coming to races, but they used to sneak in to watch..

Letyourselfgo

shels4ever wrote: »

I used to ban my parents from coming to races, but they used to sneak in to watch..

My dad and I banned my mam from coming to my football matches. Last time she saw me play was u12s (I think) she just didn't have the self control or tact , she was proved right in the end though I was lazy and crap

racheljev

My 10yr old daughter is training to be a gymnast and competed at nationals last month. There are a lot of children in her level and grade so on the way, I told her that once she can come out with a smile and say to herself "I did my best", then I'm happy. And she said, yes you're a good gym mammy. So I asked her what's a bad gym mammy. She told me about the previous nationals, when a girl she knew in another grade had won a bronze medal but she was crying and they weren't happy tears. Apparently her mother was sitting in the crowd with a face on her, shaking her head, not impressed, and the daughter told Niamh, well I'm in trouble now, she won't be happy with bronze. :eek: So Niamh said, that's a bad gym mammy. From the mouths of babes...

average_runner

racheljev wrote: »

My 10yr old daughter is training to be a gymnast and competed at nationals last month. There are a lot of children in her level and grade so on the way, I told her that once she can come out with a smile and say to herself "I did my best", then I'm happy. And she said, yes you're a good gym mammy. So I asked her what's a bad gym mammy. She told me about the previous nationals, when a girl she knew in another grade had won a bronze medal but she was crying and they weren't happy tears. Apparently her mother was sitting in the crowd with a face on her, shaking her head, not impressed, and the daughter told Niamh, well I'm in trouble now, she won't be happy with bronze. :eek: So Niamh said, that's a bad gym mammy. From the mouths of babes...

Kids are very smart.