Late 20s crisis?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have been feeling very confused about my life in general lately.

I want to preface this by saying, I do appreciate that I have my health and my family etc. My childhood and teen years were tough, but I got through it. I am generally a strong person, I have dusted myself off more times than I can remember. So I am not writing this on a whim.

However, I am just feeling so disillusioned with where I am going in life and what step I should take next.

After college, I moved back home for the summer (small rural area). I ended up staying there for the next few years as I was fortunate to get some temporary work in the area I am qualified in around home.

Even though I was living back in a small rural area, I really enjoyed these years. I made lovely friends at work, possibly the nicest people I have ever meet in my life and I was earning great money, I was the happiest I have been in my whole life.

However, that work has finished as it was only temporary anyway. I have been applying for jobs, but no such luck. I am feeling really frustrated with this, as I have good qualifications and experience in my particular area. I am passionate about my line of work.

I am still living in my home area, although not at home, I moved out a good while ago.

I am facing the prospect of having no steady job in my career area for many years to come, there's nobody my age really left around where I live, they have all emigrated.
I would be tempted to emigrate, but to be honest, I don't make friends easily, people just don't seem to want to be friends with me, they all leave me in the end, that is a whole other issue, I have tried everything and now just accept that people don't like me and that I will be on my own in general for life.

I still have the good friends from work, however they too are progressing in life, with partners, expecting children etc.

I know that if I moved abroad, that I would end up being lonely, as I don't make friends easily, whenever I have travelled abroad in the past, I generally don't like it.

Am I wasting the last of my 20s in a small rural area? But at least here I have my family and the few friends, if I moved to another part of the country or another country, I would be completely on my own, as I said above, people just don't like me, I am not a bad person, I do lack confidence, so maybe they sense this and don't want to know me.

As regards relationships, that is a dead end. People would consider me to be a v good looking woman, men do look at me when I am walking down the street and on nights out. All I've ended up getting approached by is players, guys looking for nothing serious. I have never had a relationship. Again, at this stage, I realise that I am one of those people who will be single forever. I know people say 'oh it happens when you least expect it or you can't know that you will be single forever'. I just know it, I have never had a boyfriend by the age of 26.

Such a long post, I am lost and disillusioned with life, dunno where to go next or what step to take.

afterglow

Hi OP

Firstly, sorry to read that you are going through a bit of a tough time at the moment, I two am 26, so hopefully what I will write here will be of some help, and as we are the same age, mean something...

Without meaning to be harsh whatsoever, your post does come across as overly negative. I know you said you were not writing on a whim, and so I fully understand that you believe this to be true from your point of view.
So lets try look at individual peaces of your post and I will try to give some constructive advice on each.
Are you wasting the last of your 20's in a small rural area you ask? Well, the best person to anser this is yourself. Do you feel you are? I know you said you don't like being away from family and the friends you have, but obviously you are thinking/wondering about this yourself or you woudl'nt be writing it, so you have to ask yourself, will you be happy if you are still in the same area with the same people in 10 years, or will you wish you had spread your wings a bit, maybe traveld etc? If the anser to this is even a little bit yes/maybe, then perhaps you should think about getting out of your comfort zone a bit and traveling or moving to a different part of the country.
I know fully what you mean when you talk about not having a job even though you have good experience. I have now found a field myself that I am passionate about, but it is proving hard for me to get a start. If I thought I would do any better by emigrating, I would seriously consider it, if I were you anyway. This could lead onto the next part of the post that I will talk about...
not having any friends/relationships...
I know what it is like to feel like you don't have any friends, as I have been there many times myself. It is hard to make new friends that's for sure, but I would put it to you that if anyone can sense even a little of the negativity that came across in your post from you, that you are probably right in saying that they wouldn't want to be friends with you, because in reality, who would want to be friends with a negative person? Not many people...
The good news though, is you have the power to change this. The fact that you made friends at work shows that you must be a pleasant/nice/fun person to be around so I honestly don't know where thinking no one wants to be friends with you is coming from. Clearly people do if you still have the friends from work. Figure out some interests you have, and look for some clubs/societies about these topics, there you will meet likeminded people with the same interests, and ye will have common ground. In this way there will be possibilities for friendships to develop. If you tell yourself something enough times you start to believe it. So if you think or believe :I'm no fun to be around" "Nobody wants to be friends with me: "I will never find a relationship" You start to believe it.
You have to change the way your thinking about all these things and your outlook will then change and then things can then start to look up for you.
As for the relationship, the first thing you have to do before you can start a relationship with someone is be friends with/get to know them first. Focus on meeting more people and making more friends first, and out of this perhaps a relationship will come.
hope this helps.