When does one become an "Oulwan"?

Sun in Capri

Is it when you reach a certain age or become "old" in your head?

Pat Mustard

When one becomes invisible to the unfairer sex.

Sun in Capri

I like it - the "unfairer sex"..... yes when you hit a certain age you become invisible to men - or else they offer you their seat;)

lynski

i was on here a few years ago and people were talking about ads they hated. Someone said they hated the ad with the oulwans drinking tea and talking about socks. Oulwans? the only ad I knew was the barry's tea ad with some ladies after a night out drinking tea and slagging each other off. Thing is: they were all a few years younger then me and I had no idea I was an oulwan

Sun in Capri

Ignorance is bliss Lynski I guess. When gardai, doctors, nurses and other professionals are all younger than you - this could be an indicator too.

poppyvally

As a woman, when you decide you look ridiculous in leggings & instead opt for slacks & a comfortable top that dosent reveal all your bits 'n boobs

CUCINA

When you see someone for the first time in many years who was famous when they were young and they are in the same age bracket as you.

In my case, the best example I can think of is David Essex. Couldn't believe it a few years ago when I saw him on TV, a grey-haired, wrinkled man. Then I looked in the mirror and lo and behold what did I see...no prizes for guessing!

Mollywolly

CUCINA wrote: »

In my case, the best example I can think of is David Essex. Couldn't believe it a few years ago when I saw him on TV, a grey-haired, wrinkled man. Then I looked in the mirror and lo and behold what did I see...no prizes for guessing!

Cucina, I saw him on TV not long ago and I couldn't believe it was him! He's still good for his age I suppose, but where did that gorgeous young fella with the twinkly blue eyes go?

I saw him many moons ago when they were recording the follow up to "That'll Be The Day". "Stardust", it was called. They shot part of it at Belle Vue in Manchester and I went with a few friends - had a great time. Trouble is, I never realised it was so long ago - 1974 :eek:

JuliusCaesar

poppyvally wrote: »

As a woman, when you decide you look ridiculous in leggings & instead opt for slacks & a comfortable top that dosent reveal all your bits 'n boobs

I mustn't be an owlwan so! I have rediscovered fancy underwear...

When you realise the men you fancy are the ones you used to regard as 'old'!

OldGoat

Age (and oulwanism) is a state of mind. Sadly it's other peoples minds rather then yours that decides.

getz

when you find your sleeping with a granny

Mollywolly

getz wrote: »

when you find your sleeping with a granny

Or grandad

getz

Mollywolly wrote: »

Or grandad

checkmate

uch

When the Kids on the street call you "Mister"

Citycap

When people humour you by saying "There's some great articles in Irelands Own"

getz

when you can only do three times in a night what you could do six times a night

CUCINA

When, as in my case the other night, you discover the "oulwans and oulfellas" site for the first time, have a look to see what all these old people are doing and then realise to your horror that you can identify with many of the posters!

Actually, one post that really caught my eye was where someone was describing how they used to tape songs from the Top Twenty show presented by Tom Brown on Sunday nights on BBC radio, That's exactly what I used to do. That would have been in around the early/mid Seventies. One of my favourite songs then (and even now) was "I Feel Love" by Donna Summer.

And you know the really sad thing? I still have a pile of cassette tapes of my work from that time, in the attic! I'll really have to bite the bullet one of these days and throw them out...hmmm...that gives me an idea for another thread...

almostbroke

you know you're an oulwan when you decide to go back to college and find you're older than the teacher....

and.....when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night......

policarp

When your teeth become like the stars.




They come out at night. . .

Layinghen

You become an oulwan when you no longer care what people think about you or worry that people mightn't approve of what you do with your life. You are here for a short time - make sure it's a good time. Growing old disgracefully is the way to go

0lddog

CUCINA wrote: »

........Actually, one post that really caught my eye was where someone was describing how they used to tape songs from the Top Twenty show presented by Tom Brown on Sunday nights on BBC radio, ......

Whaaaaa?

Tom Brown ?

Shhhhrrrllly shome mishtake ?

Dont you mean Alan Freeman ?

( God I miss The Light Program & Music w y Work, and what about hearing Terry W Fight The Flab .................. AND LOSE ............. in the afternoons ? ) )

( Come to think of it, the Brits have been fighting the flab for 50 years now - its only recently that they trotted out the Diabetes Bogeyman - )

Nevermind. The answer to the question is : you become an Oulwan when you discover that you are married to an Oulfella.

HTH

Olddog

( not Ouldog, no, never, - I'd be shot - )

jos28

When you are past your 'best before date'.

Jellybaby1

jos28 wrote: »

When you are past your 'best before date'.

Thankfully the gang in here were born long before 'best before dates' were even thought of!! Rock forever youse guys! :P

OldGoat

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

Thankfully the gang in here were born long before 'best before dates' were even thought of!! Rock forever youse guys! :P

I remember when this was all glass milk bottles and pennyworth o'sweets

BrensBenz

Sun in Capri wrote: »

When does one become an "oulwan"?

In my case, sometime after therapy, hormonal treatment, an eye-watering surgical procedure and recovery; successful negotiations with Mrs. BrensBenz on access to her wardrobe and crate of smellies; change my FaceBook status and join the local bowls club. Otherwise, by age, I already qualify.

Having lots of spare time lately; being entirely immune to pain; in the interest of science and to answer your question more accurately, I could sign up for this process and measure the time from "start" to when a boy scout offers to help me across the road. If you urgently require an answer to your question, I could call VHI today and (ahem) get the ball rolling. PM me (whatever that is.)

Rubecula

I am not an oulwan in the head but I can't fool a flight of stairs, and my birthday suit needs ironing.

Jellybaby1

Rube, doncha know all deese rules also apply to 'oulfellas too. :P

Rubecula

But Jellybaby I am a youngfella really LOL

I don't really qualify for either ... errr ... Do I?

Jellybaby1

We can have you tested for 'oul-fulness Rube!

sudzs

When you find yourself considering beige items of clothing in M&S!

Jellybaby1

sudzs wrote: »

When you find yourself considering beige items of clothing in M&S!

We did that in the 70's! In fact, everything was brown and beige then, I could tell you about my wallpaper but I don't want to frighten you.

GarIT

When to think it is ok to wear footwear that reveals your toes that are not A for summer or B heels. or when you think it is ok to wear tights or socks and sandals.

CUCINA

0lddog wrote: »

Whaaaaa?

Tom Brown ?

Shhhhrrrllly shome mishtake ?

Dont you mean Alan Freeman ?

( God I miss The Light Program & Music w y Work, and what about hearing Terry W Fight The Flab .................. AND LOSE ............. in the afternoons ? ) )

( Come to think of it, the Brits have been fighting the flab for 50 years now - its only recently that they trotted out the Diabetes Bogeyman - )

Nevermind. The answer to the question is : you become an Oulwan when you discover that you are married to an Oulfella.

HTH

Olddog

( not Ouldog, no, never, - I'd be shot - )

No, Tom Brown it was...he would have announced to the world what the new entries were...some weeks it was Gilbert O'Sullivan (Oh Claire, Get Down), or The Simon Park Orchestra, or Charles Aznavour (She) etc., etc.
I was also An Alan Freeman fan, but he was on Saturday afternoons when I listened to him...

Jellybaby1

CUCINA wrote: »

No, Tom Brown it was...he would have announced to the world what the new entries were...some weeks it was Gilbert O'Sullivan (Oh Claire, Get Down), or The Simon Park Orchestra, or Charles Aznavour (She) etc., etc.
I was also An Alan Freeman fan, but he was on Saturday afternoons when I listened to him...

Ta-daa! Well, whaddya know, you're right! I thought it should be Alan Freeman as well. OG, that's what's known as a 'silver moment' for you and me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Browne_%28broadcaster%29

Norwesterner

For men it's when you keep and cherish a "special stick" in the shed solely for stirring paint.

miss misty

Layinghen wrote: »

You become an oulwan when you no longer care what people think about you or worry that people mightn't approve of what you do with your life. You are here for a short time - make sure it's a good time. Growing old disgracefully is the way to go

Totally Agree.... don't worry what other people think any more, live each day as if it was your last. :)

Jellybaby1

Norwesterner wrote: »

For men it's when you keep and cherish a "special stick" in the shed solely for stirring paint.

Time to 'fess up. Not only men! My paint shtick is in the shape of an old wooden spoon! Tee-hee!

annieoburns

.... when one finds oneself sleeping with a pensioner?

policarp

But surely the pensioner is the Owlwan
and you're the youngwan. . .

annieoburns

Yep I am the dolly bird all right:)

Oryx

If you have to ask the question, you're probably already there.

But signs and symptoms are:
Groaning when you pick something up off the floor.
The floor seeming further away when you do.
Computer screens become strangely blurry, and newsprint gets smaller.
You grow more hair where you never had any, and less hair where you always had some.
You listen to Radio 1 because modern music stations are just so noisy!
You wonder where children get all their energy.
You wonder why teenagers are so lazy and feckless.
You wonder who the heck that aulwan in the mirror is.

Layinghen

A poem for all us oulwans

WARNING - by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Rubecula

Layinghen I really like that

Layinghen

I think it is a brilliant poem. In the US there are Red Hat Societies for women over 50. In fact I believe there is a chapter in Ireland. Just a group of mad Oulwans who put on their red hats and purple and meet up for tea parties and go away for week ends and basically enjoy living.

OldGoat

I know a couple of the mad hatters living in the USA. Some of the branches can be a bit 'uptight' in their outlook but then there are others that are magnificently insane with a real lust for life. The overall impression of the hatters is good though.

Jellybaby1

OldGoat wrote: »

I know a couple of the mad hatters living in the USA. Some of the branches can be a bit 'uptight' in their outlook but then there are others that are magnificently insane with a real lust for life. The overall impression of the hatters is good though.

Sour grapes OG, 'cos they wouldn't let you join!

In what way 'uptight'? I might fit in.