Tights in the bedroom ! Not mine

Aurellia

I just know they aren't. My sisters , & sister in law have stayed in recent weeks due to a family bereavement & a communion . I've asked them , one doesn't wear tights, other is a size 22, not hers, and sister in law said she can't confirm or deny them, but she wasn't in my room.

They've been worn - not from d wash .....

Suspicious minds are dangerous. Thing is we haven't been apart much , unless he'd someone over when I was out last Friday ? But my son was home he's 8. Or during the day came Back ? I work 9-5 , 3 days a week so don't know really where he'd of got d time !

Am I looking for a reason or is it possible with everything's happened they're ond of my relatives .

Lorna123

Where abouts in the bedroom did you find them, was it in the bed, or on the floor beside the bed or closer to the wardrobe. Your sister in law may have left them behind because she was dressing in front of the mirror in your room but she doesn't want to admit she was in your room as you might think she was nosey. I would not jump to conclusions just yet. Bide your time and see if anything else happens that causes your suspicion.

Esoteric_

There were other women in your home, and you said your husband didn't have much time away from you, so you have to think carefully about this.

Has your husband given you reason not to trust him before? I find it very strange that you'd jump to the conclusion of him cheating, if he hasn't given you reason to doubt him before.

desbrook

Aurellia wrote: »

I just know they aren't. My sisters , & sister in law have stayed in recent weeks due to a family bereavement & a communion . I've asked them , one doesn't wear tights, other is a size 22, not hers, and sister in law said she can't confirm or deny them, but she wasn't in my room.

They've been worn - not from d wash .....

Suspicious minds are dangerous. Thing is we haven't been apart much , unless he'd someone over when I was out last Friday ? But my son was home he's 8. Or during the day came Back ? I work 9-5 , 3 days a week so don't know really where he'd of got d time !

Am I looking for a reason or is it possible with everything's happened they're ond of my relatives .

There are other possibilities including (a) him crossdressing or (b) them being in his pocket from a conquest somewhere else and falling out . Totally discount them though unless he has "previous "?

More realistic to look calmly at a few things here . Let's say your OH did have someone in the room , what are the chances that anything let alone tights would be left behind ?? answer : very small indeed . Okay an earring can be easily missed but tights ?? I think you'd know if you were forgetting them and recover them or later warn the guy to find them and bin 'em .

Most importantly what are the odds that this rare occurence happens within weeks of you having female relations over which I presume is in itself a rare occurence . Add to this the fact you by your own admission find it hard to know where he would get the time !!!

In itself this seems harmless - the only harm that can come is by you accusing him .

judgefudge

I'd mention it in front of him and gauge his reaction. Unless he's a bare faced liar you should be able to tell from that. I wouldn't automatically assume it was from cheating.

Aurellia

judgefudge wrote: »

I'd mention it in front of him and gauge his reaction. Unless he's a bare faced liar you should be able to tell from that. I wouldn't automatically assume it was from cheating.

Ya I'll do that , I automatically went into mental mode, rang him up & fxxked him out of it.
we had a relationship problem last year with him with flirty FB messages with a girl, on one particular day and i happened to see them that evening, the idiot! I haven't thought about it, as put ot in the past, i forgave ,we've been a better couple because of it ironically having had counselling , the first out of place thing I find i go bezerk and I'm about to go home and launch ww3!

I was out the Friday last , he the Saturday both of us till the wee hours , and we were away together this weekend. Every other night he's home, or a few with the lads Friday , but home 8pm.

Thing is with my brother passing, the house was full, & housework has lapsed to the bare necessities until recently and there prob were tights belong to a female from then as I pulled out the blanket box on his side of the bed to dust and they were there. Kinda bunched that someone removed them that had been wearing them.

I don't know of its an old wound opened , that i thought was healed or the anger & bereavement but I'm really weepy over it.

I feel I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. But then the other half of me is like the b@st@rd !

judgefudge

Ah it's understandable if their have been flirty messages in the past. You're probably feeling insecure and I can understand that any little thing will get your mind racing about what he might be up to. But you also need to bear in mind that that's what's going on. You don't know where the tights came from at the end of the day, you said yourself it could be anywhere. So to automatically jump to conclusions isn't fair on him.

It does sound like you still lack trust in the relationship though.

Legs.Eleven

Stupid question perhaps but are you absolutely sure they´re not yours?

Aurellia

Situation resolved. My Sis in law went into my room on the communion day and used my sally hansen. House is a bomb since funeral, exams and communion all came together.

However, yes im an emotional wreck and i flew off the handle with himself who was innocent and hurt , there now is the elephant in the room of "do i trust him"?

Think a good chat and a session with our counselor should put us back on the right track

Thank u

The Corinthian

Years ago, my girlfriend was staying over at my place as she often did. The next morning she was dressing and couldn't find her bra.

I helped and looked around, eventually finding a bra behind the side of the bed that was against the wall. Pleased that I had been able to do this for her, I turned around, holding the bra...

...to find her putting on her bra that she'd already found on her own. I could feel my smile morph into one of those cheesy "it's not what you think" smiles. Her eyes widened and what followed was a very awkward few days.

The reality is that, bachelor slob that I was back then, I hadn't bothered to clean up behind my bed. Possibly ever. The bra was naturally not hers and belonged to some other overnight guest, who'd spent the night months, perhaps years, before our relationship began or we'd even met.

Thing is that perhaps he's been unfaithful. Given this if he's had no real opportunity to be so - unless he'd be so stupid as to bring a woman back while your (his?) son was present - who knows how long those tights have been about undetected and where they came from.

If you're going to go to DefCon 1, have a good reason to do so, otherwise you'll be jumping at shadows in every relationship you're in.

Emme

The Corinthian wrote: »

The reality is that, bachelor slob that I was back then, I hadn't bothered to clean up behind my bed. Possibly ever. The bra was naturally not hers and belonged to some other overnight guest, who'd spent the night months, perhaps years, before our relationship began or we'd even met.

Yeah right

The Corinthian

Oh, ye of little faith...

strobe

Aurellia wrote: »

Think a good chat and a session with our counselor should put us back on the right track

Thank u

And a massive, very sincere and grovelling apology I'd hope.

Glad this appears to have been resolved op