cant get girl out of my head

cuddlylad

hey

as the title says cant get this girl out of my head!

met her middle of march, and we seemed to hit it off straigh away. been on sereval dates, cinema, dinner, walks. our first date lasted for over 5 hours as did many other dates, we seemed to be able to just sit in each others company and chat for hours on end. I never felt the way i felt about her before, she is the girl of my dreams to be honest, prefect in everyway. I though i was never going to find someone like her and had almost given up on the idea. We just clicked so well, and although we never had a "chat" i think we both just know there was a massive sparke between us!
we were suppose to meet one day nf an hour before we were to meet she txt more or less saying she didnt want to lead me on that she wasnt ready for a realtionship of any kind, be it serious or casual. I was fairly knocked for six when i read this and didnt know what to thinK, because i liked her so much i had to ask her was this just a way to soften the blow or was she just not into me, to which she replied, she is always straigh up with peoeple nd it wasnt a way to soften the blow. She was fairly messed up in a previous relationship from what i could gather and had health issues at the same time so she never really got over other guy i thinK, anyway we both agreed that there was no hard feelings and we would remain friends.
About a week after this she txt me out of the blue to see how i was, so we chatted away, txting for days until i couldnt take any more cos she was constantly in my head, i spend every hour of the day thinking about her so when a natural break came in the txtin i just stopped.

problem is she is still in my head, i cant stop thinking about her, i dont think i can really rely how strongly i felt for here by writting here tbh

question i pose is:
1. was she jsut softening the blow byt saying she was not ready for relationship?

2. should i break out and tell her how i really feel about here?

because she is my dream girl, once in a life time i feel that i have to do everything in my power or should i just leave it so.

any advice welcome because i really need to short this out nd give my head a rest

Snatchy

Pal, read my post of an hour or so ago - it's called "bite the bullet". I think you have to tell her. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And if it's not reciprocated - f*ck it, plenty more out there. I think I'm possibly a little older than you so you may not realise this yet, but it's true!

Tell her. You'll feel better once it's off your chest.

S

CaraMay

She did already give you her answer op. In saying that you have nothing to lose. I suspect she was texting as she wishes to keep the friendship but I think only as a friendship.

Merkin

cuddlylad wrote: »

I never felt the way i felt about her before, she is the girl of my dreams to be honest, prefect in everyway.

I'm afraid the first piece of advice I would give you is to take her right down off that pedestal you quite clearly have her on. She is not perfect because nobody is perfect. That's not being overly cynical or harsh, you are merely displaying an overly romanticized view of someone who you didn't know all that well when it comes to it.

I also think that while you thought everything was absolutely rosy in the garden and couldn't envisage anything more special or fantastic she obviously had different ideas. Sorry. You obviously got an awful shock when she sprung it on you that she wasn't feeling the same way and I think her excuses are almost incidental. Whether she is not ready for a relationship. Whether she has too much on her plate. Whether an ex has come back on the scene. Whether she just wasn't feeling it. The answer doesn't really alter the fact that she doesn't want to pursue a relationship with you so thy whys and wherefore's are futile really.

I think you showed remarkable strength of character in deciding not to engage in marathon text sessions post break-up as why on earth should she have the benefit of your sparkling company (when you're clearly smitten) and yet not deem you not suitable for a relationship?

I can't give you a huge amount of advice as this is the type of heartbreak you're going to have to work through yourself BUT, it does get easier with time AND the moment you decide she should really dismount the pedestal and see that maybe she isn't so perfect (she let a good opportunity pass her by after all! ) then the sooner you can view this whole situation realistically and for what it was....a brief romance that didn't work out that has left you feeling hurt and bewildered. It's happened us all and you're left scratching your head wondering what the hell just happened BUT it does then leave the path clear for the real thing. And when that does happen feelings of hurt and rejection will be a thing of the past.

Chin up and know that you will feel better in time. Just don't contact her, it will reopen old wounds and I don't see the point in going back to her only to be rejected a second time. the harsh reality is that if she wanted to be your girlfriend then she would be your girlfriend. You'll be fine x

ocos

almost identical happened with me...amazing chemistry with the guy, could talk for hours on end and I got the whole 'not wanting a relationship right now'...

He is still in my head but slowly I am trying to edge him out and it finally seems to be working....tough on you but it will get easier

MikeCork2009

It's a strangely similar world sometimes. Exact same thing happened to me very recently. The advice I can give is not to go back. After the "not in a place for a relationship" text I got I made the mistake of staying in touch, texting, chatting flirting etc. and it just made the eventual realisation that we couldn't be friends/walking away much harder You'll find a girl who wants that "more" with you so don't waste your time on this girl who seems happy to have you in her life for comfort until she finds someone she sees herself having a relationship with. Move onwards and upwards

cuddlylad

rite,

thanks for all the replies, they all make sence in one way or another.

I did txt her at the wkend and spilled my heart out to her and feel a thosand better, just feels like a massive weight off my mind. she still didnt tell me excately how she is thinking but i dont mind cos i know i've done all i can.

thanks all

Merkin

If it made you feel better that's good but you now need to leave it at that and not contact her again. You have made your feelings for her perfectly clear and she will be under no illusions as to how feel about her so no need to do anything further. Maybe now that you've contacted her and she hasn't reciprocated it will allow you to start moving on once and for all.

MikeCork2009

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. If spilling your heart out and getting it off your chest helped then that's good. At least you know that you gave it a shot but unfortunately it seems that your feelings are unrequited. She knows exactly how you feel now, so there's no more uncertainty, so just respect her feelings and leave it at that. I know it's tough and you're probably very upset by the whole situation at the moment but that will pass in time and when you meet the right girl you'll look back on this and smile