Meltdown at 31

LegacyUser

I think Im having a quarter life crisis, or whatever applies when you're 31. Female, long term relationship and I think I just need somewhere to vent. Trying so hard to be content and just 'be', and be grateful for what I have but feel that being a woman I cannot just do that anymore. All my friends are either married or getting married, with most having moved onto stage 2, having babies. Im enjoying my life, happy in my relationship, but feel behind by a few years to everyone else. My problem is, that while I am enjoying it and 'being' present, I cannot shove the idea that I would like to have kids, and really would like to be pregnant in the next three years at the latest. My reasonings are my age, I dont want to be an older Mum (my mum was for my sibling and Ive seen the impact, and in hindsight I would have liked to be a mum by now) and realising that in reality Ill be the one being the primary carer, ie preparing my body, 9 months of pregnancy, childcare. Im not ignoring the impact on my partner but at the end of the day he will be working full time, Ill have to be giving up my career, even for a short time.

Ive gotten the jokey nudge nudge from family members but now it seems to be turning into a more serious nudge and looks of concern. And its scary. I avoid the Daily Mail and all rubbish they seel about women's health, but cant help feeling maybe I ought to go to someone like Zita West to check out my egg reserve, in case.. We arent trying or anything and Im on the pill; we've just had a lifestyle change and sorta catching up on the past few years we missed out on for various reasons. I'm loving it!

Im not exactly sure what Im asking but its juts resssurance I guess that women my age have these meltdowns and panics now and then.. I really feel a head mess

murria

Its funny that, cos when I was around your age I was in the exact same situation. Life was great, we were having a ball, but while away on holiday I got a bit drunk one night and seemingly out of nowhere told my partner that I wanted to have kids and not only that but I wanted to get married before I had them. I told him that if he didnt want to do that I would find someone else who did. Strangely enough that was what he wanted too, so over the next couple of years thats what we did.

I hadn't realised all of that was going on in my head and I'm just wondering if thats maybe the same with you. Perhaps you need to know that your partner is on the same page as you and you both want the same thing.

Holyjebus

Ditto! I never wanted kids until I hit 31 and had a bit of a meltdown too. That biological ticking just got too much for me
I'm 36 now and have 2 boys under 4 and it has been a complete change in our lives but for the better, we wonder what we did before they came along.
You should just go for it, you won't regret it

CaraMay

Does your bf want to have kids?

LegacyUser

CaraMay wrote: »

Does your bf want to have kids?

Yes, ideally two. Spent time explaining to him the time process