school run disruption

mikemcdeedy100

i do the school runs for the kids up and down to my ex-partner

she regularly takes the opportunity to vent on the street and in front of the kids
at pickup and drop off

2 sides to every story and we don't get on.......... but i feel the school runs are business to get the kids to school in a safe and calm manner and not an appropriate time for this

i don't want to disrupt the school runs but i feel that regardless of any issues this is not the appropriate time

from my point of view i find it very frustrating for my interaction with the children

any ides on this without getting into too much detail thanks

ElleEm

Have you said this to her in private?

You should speak with her about it, and then if she tries it again, just say very clearly "I will discuss it with you at a more appropriate time", or something similar. Just don't entertain her. But make sure that you DO arrange to ring her or visit when the kids are at school so you CAN talk about these issues.

mikemcdeedy100

ElleEm wrote: »

Have you said this to her in private?

You should speak with her about it, and then if she tries it again, just say very clearly "I will discuss it with you at a more appropriate time", or something similar. Just don't entertain her. But make sure that you DO arrange to ring her or visit when the kids are at school so you CAN talk about these issues.

sounds reasonable

ideally that's prob the solution

putting these things into practice can be tricky obviously
thanks

ElleEm

Of course, it's so hard to break a pattern that has begun, but fair play to you for wanting better for the kids.
When you speak to her about it alone, be really calm, even text her of that's a better way for you to communicate.
The important thing is to pick a sentence that sums up what you want to say, like "I don't want to speak about this in front of the kids, I'll give you a buzz later" or something like that and just continuously repeat it if she keeps going on.
She obviously likes the madness and drama of rowing in the street, so YOU need to be in control here. You will need to be strong and don't feed into her arguments. Eventually she will realise that her way is no longer working, and she will stop.

desbrook

mikemcdeedy100 wrote: »

i do the school runs for the kids up and down to my ex-partner

she regularly takes the opportunity to vent on the street and in front of the kids
at pickup and drop off

2 sides to every story and we don't get on.......... but i feel the school runs are business to get the kids to school in a safe and calm manner and not an appropriate time for this

i don't want to disrupt the school runs but i feel that regardless of any issues this is not the appropriate time

from my point of view i find it very frustrating for my interaction with the children

any ides on this without getting into too much detail thanks

Discussing stuff like this in this way in front of the kids is not appropriate full stop . A dim view will be taken of it by your solicitor but more importantly hers .

As has already been suggested DO NOT involve yourself in any argument - merely state that it is not appropriate in front of the children . DO make contact with her at an appropriate time make notes of these attempts - also any incidents at the school runs . If you are having no joy I'm sure your solicitior can write to hers outlining the inapropriatness of what is happening . The attempts at contact can be outlined also .The letter can formally ask for her grievances and state your willingness to discuss matters at an appropriate time .

"There is a time and place "

mikemcdeedy100

ok thanks

just looking for some outside input on the school run situation

without me ranting or giving off my side of everything

i'll review the replies and try to implement some of the suggestions thanks again

Taltos

Think the advice above is spot on.

Just 2 more things
1. Be consistent - use this approach each and every time - hopefully she will learn the lesson.
2. Keep a note of when, and more importantly who and feed this all back to your legal team...