How to love yourself?

LegacyUser

Im a 22 y/o female and ive been very down lately about my lack of experience with men. Im at the stage now where I feel like a freak as I have no sexual experience whatever, all Ive done is kiss lads. I go on nights out and do sometimes get lads approaching but its almost as if I panic and run before anything happens. Ive never even had that whole texting a lad experience!
Lately Ive decided to work on myself a bit more. Im currently losing weight to help feel better about myself and increase my confidence.
I just feel like ill never meet someone until I learn to love myself but I dont know how to do that? The rational part of me thinks that if I have friends who like me then surely I could find a guy who'll think im interesting etc. but the larger part of my brain thinks that no guy will find me interesting, I just dont have anything to talk about etc...any advice?
I dont want to waste my life feeling inadequate and constantly running from oppurtunity due to fear..

blatantrereg

You certainly can find a guy who'll find you interesting, you just seem to be looking in the wrong places. Nightclubs are good for extraverted people, usually for quick meaningless encounters. You're shy, and would be better off taking things slowly, and probably want some sort of emotional involvement to feature too. So forget about nightclubs. They are for a different type of personality, looking for something different than what you want.

No wonder you feel inadequate. The way a fish would feel inadequate if it entered a footrace. Focusing on liking yourself a bit more is a good idea. It's best not to invest self-esteem into any external factors, such as any form of success or other people's opinions of you. This makes you vulnerable, since neither are guaranteed. If you find you invest too much self-esteem into approval from other people, then it's logical you will feel scared of rejection, and find it hard to be open to engaging with people. It is best to invest self-esteem into just being a decent person. This makes you stronger psychologically, and also provides a good foundation for both success and being well-liked.

I would suggest you focus on what you want personally, and thinking about the best way of finding it. Meeting people through friends would be a better avenue for slower-paced engagements. Dating Websites might also be useful for a shy person. If you do try a Website and get talking to someone, I would suggest you think about meeting them for a coffee or something sooner rather than later. There would be more of a build-up the longer you leave it.

Just try to be comfortable with being yourself, and don't feel any pressure to rush into things faster than what you feel ok with.

DonQuigleone

If you want to date, online dating is probably a pretty good idea. Don't worry about the "stigma", lots of perfectly normal people use it (plenty of weird people too if that floats your boat...).

I wouldn't worry too much about being inexperienced. The right guy won't hold it against you. Though I obviously wouldn't go telling every person you meet of your "status".