Forgiveness

Xenophile

Do you remember the first person in your life that you extended "forgiveness" to ? This may have been a person from your very early childhood who treated you unfairly or mistreated you. And at that time you had a sense that the person in question did not know any better or could not act any differently, in other words your own intelligence or intuition brought to your awareness that the person was not capable of acting in any other way at the time.

Your thoughts or feelings would have been "This is the way they are they cannot help it". So at a very early age forgiveness would have been unspoken as you would not have had the vocabulary to articulate it.

Real forgiveness does not need to be expressed as expressing it can be a form of condemnation and judgment. Of course if a person asks to be forgiven it is only appropriate to do so!

If replying to this thread please do not give any personal details.

daisybelle2008

If the person is not capable of acting differently what is the point of your 'forgiveness'?
Why do you need the judgement of 'wrongdoing' which leads to the 'forgiveness' of the 'sin'.
Why create all that,if just acceptance is needed of the original act. They couldn't help it after all.

Corkgirl210

what you cannot control you have to accept..

although you must acknowledge your feelings and your emotions based on your reactions to the person who harmed you,

you also have to allow that person to no longer take control over your feelings..by understanding and letting them go.. this is were forgiveness is found..

when we forgive ourselves, we forgive others..

sometimes we need experiences in our lives in order to teach us about forgiveness... sometimes they can be ones who taught us the most!!

angelman121

Forgiveness is never about an act or another person. It will always be about you . You must have something before you can give or extend it from you. Forgiveness is ultimately about you changing your mind about whether you are going to continue to carry feelings connected to something from the past or whether you are going to change how you are feeling now despite what ever happened in the past. Because the past cannot be undone or changed, carrying it into NOW and reliving or keeping it alive can only ever effect you. The most damaging effect this has is to stop you feeling or experiencing peace within, which can only be felt NOW (all feelings can only be felt NOW). So forgiveness is applied to yourself for allowing the peace of NOW to be contaminated or replaced with something that is impossible to change. and this is a waste of your valuable and precious time.
The notion of forgiving someone else keeps forgiveness at arms-length from yourself and you are giving away what you need and can only be applied to yourself, no one else can use your forgiveness anyway as everyone can only forgive themselves.

Happy Every Day
P