worried about shy/awkward friend

Blambalam

Hi.
I have a really awkward friend. I've known her for about 4 years, but only at arm's length, so to speak. As we were in the same class in college, it was easy enough to be friendly without being close - saw her a few times a week there, enjoyed talking to her. As someone who struggled a lot with social anxiety & awkwardness as a teenager, I understood her distance more than some people would. Most people seem to think she's unfriendly & a bit strange & find talking to her uncomfortable.

Anyway, a few months ago one of my housemates emigrated, so we had a spare room. Conveniently, she was looking for a room, and now we're housemates. The reason this is relevant is that now I live with her, I see that she actually has very few friends bar me. And I'm not even that close a friend.
In the past while I've tried to include her in my own social life a bit, but she just doesn't like it. When I ask would she like to come to the pub, to use the most obvious example, I can see people edging away from her, and when someone tries to make conversation with her, she shuts it down very quickly. This also happens when we are with people we both knew in college, people I know she at least has some point of reference with.

On the one hand, I know she just prefers being alone. I completely understand that preference. I don't want to meddle or act like a flustered mother. It's not really any of my business.
But on the other hand, I am worried about her. She is unemployed, which allows her to wake up around 4pm every day, feed the cat & then go on the internet til 5am.
She is actively looking for a job, but never gets anywhere after the initial interview, and I can imagine that her lack of people skills has something to do with this.

Another aspect to it is, when I have friends over, she can get irritable. I understand that having people she doesn't really know in her kitchen & sitting room is annoying. I always make sure I introduce her to them & vice versa, but it's obvious that she really doesn't like it. It's getting to the stage where I feel guilty if I have lots of friends over & we enjoy ourselves a bit too much & are kinda loud.

I feel like I just needed to get that off my chest, but if anyone has any constructive advice on how to live with this woman I'd appreciate it! She's genuinely a good person & when it's just two of us, or even us and my other housemate, we get along very well & enjoy each other's company.

ivytwine

Have you ever talked to her about it? Fair enough if she doesn't like the pub or whatever but if it's making you feel uncomfortable about having a social life then you definitely need to address it with her.

Some people are introverts, some aren't. But her life sounds quite lonely and I can't imagine she's too happy at the min. I think you should definitely talk to her, ask her if there's anything she'd like to talk about, let her know you're there for her. And definitely tell her that her attitude to people is making you feel uncomfortable about having others over. In fairness, you should be, within reason, allowed to have a few drinks with friends.

Blambalam

I've been thinking I should do that alright. Thanks for the second opinion.