Housemate help

LegacyUser

I'm after moving into a house with three of my friends, who are all absolutely lovely and I'm glad that out of anyone I'm living with them. However, in my last flat I was bullied by housemates, and spent more time in my bedroom than anywhere else. I would regularly spend upwards of 20 hours a day in my bedroom, unless I was in college.

Now that I'm living with people, I've no idea what to do. I'm used to coming in and staying in my room, but it's difficult for me to even think about socialising, because I'm so used to it not being an option. I've been asked a few times to go on nights out, but I freeze if it's mentioned, because a night out with my old flatmates would generally end up in drunken fights.

Does anyone have any advice for how to try socialise and get along with everyone?

December2012

Say yes.

Go out.

See how it goes and take it slowly.

Stavro Mueller

When you're in your current house, do you still hide out in your room a lot or do you spend more time in the common living areas? Kitchen, sitting room? Even that would be good for you as a small step.

Next time you're asked, say yes. It'll do you good to get out of that comfort zone you've been hiding in. When you do go out, maybe leave a few euros aside in your pocket for a taxi home just in case you find yourself wanting to leave early. I'm sure you won't need it though - these friends of yours sound lovely

Citycap

Maybe pick the occasion yourself e.g ask them to make a foursome for table quiz. There wont be a lot of alcohol involved and if its a work night no one will want to go on to a club. It will be a bit of fun and you will see them in a different light away from the house

Merkin

Ease yourself in gently and do it on your own terms. You poor thing, sounds like your confidence has really been knocked for six but these people sound very friendly and inclusive. Next time they ask you to go out with them, why don't you meet them for part of the evening? So if they are going for dinner and drinks, just meet for a bite to eat and go home afterwards if you want. Or if you are conscious of eating with people, meet them in the pub afterwards. Or, maybe go out with just one of the housemates first if you are apprehensive about being in a big group. Set yourself small challenges in getting to know them better. If they watch a programme regularly for example, say to yourself that you'll join them in the living room for the half hour that the programme is on. You will be fine, but you do have to step out of your comfort zone.

Neyite

To ease yourself into getting used to using the communal areas, bring a book into the sitting room. That way if the conversation seems stilted or non existent, or you feel a bit awkward, you have that as a prop.

But these people are your friends, the other flatmates weren't. You'll be fine.