What does she want???

ippn1

clifs:

- girl (22) was very attracted to me, chasing me...
- we started dating (1 month), everything super, she was very into me
- got premenstrual (depressed), i figured out she was not over her ex of 3 years
- saw her ex at a party soon after that (she texted him next day...)
- told my she didnt fall in love with me and is not over her ex and cant be my GF
- went NC

The problem is Im stuck at home because I had surgery (foot) and cant do much but think about it. Im still not over it completely. Every time it gets better something happens: I saw her or she somehow contact me.
2 weeks after we broke up she contacted me because i have some common stuff with her father (small town, I know him from before) and he called me he will bring me something, but then she texted me that she will (she didnt because it turned out that 'this thing' was not finished)...

Then 1 month after we broke up i went to a party she knew I was attending so she came with her friend (my friends girlfriend) and they hung out in our circle whole party. We said just 'hi' to each other (her drunk friend constantly telling me to go talk to her, I didnt).Then next day after that party she texted me - she wished me good luck and stuff like that because she knew im going to have a surgery next week...

I dont know why she does that. Its like remembering me all the time. I was thinking to block her contacts but that would be strange since there were nothing ugly between us.

So is that her just being friendly or she still think about me (wants to have me for 2nd choice)?

Now its been 14 days NC again...

Stavro Mueller

Is this the same girl you posted about before? In my opinion you should read back through the advice people gave you last time. It still stands. This girl isn't over her ex, she isn't into you. Yet somehow you just can't see to be able to accept this and are hoping that people will tell you otherwise.

Sephiroth_dude

Probably just been friendly,keep up the no contact,try and keep yourself as busy as possible.Time is a great healer.We've all been here at some stage,I hope this helps you.

Idle Passerby

My take would be that the month she spent with you ment a lot less to her than it did to you. Shes just being friendly, probably not realising its wrecking your head.

When she said 'this thing wasn't finished' did she mean with you or with her ex? Because it sounds like she might be keeping you on the backburner for when she does get over her ex. Don't be her second choice.

ippn1

Well she is the one who is maintaining contact. I havent send her anything since we broke up. I told her I cant be just a friend back then. I just wish she will leave me alone - no massages and no hanging around my friends when we met at parties...

I also do not want to have relationship with her at that point. I know she was never completely there with me and always has had her ex in her mind but i couldnt see that back then.

I want to hear some opinions because i really dont understand her actions, not that i have a chance with her...

Idle Passerby

To be honest, trying to understand why she's maintaining contact is pointless. You dont want to so just be clear with her and dont respond to her when she messages you. Shes probably keeping in touch because its an ego boost and because she knows you will respond when she gets in touch.

Lorna123

She is only keeping in touch with you because she wants to keep reassuring herself that you still like her. She doesn't like the idea that you are now getting on with your life without her because this makes her feel less important than she would like, e.g. out of sight out of mind. She would like to think that you are still pining after her, so she is reaching out for reassurance.

Never forget though that if she was interested in having a relationship with you she would not have broken up with you and any of her antics after that are doing nothing to help you, just her being selfish.

If you ever hope she would come back to you what you have to do is ignore her because playing into her hands will only get you more of the same treatment once she knows you like her more than she likes you. Don't leave yourself open to this. Continue with NC and she will have more respect for you.

The Corinthian

ippn1 wrote: »

Well she is the one who is maintaining contact. I havent send her anything since we broke up. I told her I cant be just a friend back then. I just wish she will leave me alone - no massages and no hanging around my friends when we met at parties...

As Lorna said she's keeping in touch with you because she wants to keep reassuring herself that you still like her. She is probably also doing so because she knows she's fscked you around, feels guilty and wants to 'remain friends' so as to feel less guilty. She may also be hedging her bets, in the event that she doesn't get back with her ex or finally gets over him.

If she texts you again, reply: "I don't think your texting me is a good idea. Please stop. Thank you." Then block her number.

For bonus points, next time you go to a party she'll be at, bring a date.

Slutmonkey57b

A) She doesn't know what she wants.
It's not your job to help her work it out.
C) Being in contact with her or keeping overlapping social circles is toxic for you at the moment. Block her number and stay away until you're over the whole thing.

She doesn't sound malicious or cruel, but she's not helping you right now.