Tell the truth now or in awhile...

LegacyUser

I'll try go through the story quick.

Met a girl out, was drunk, said I work (but I don't) in the same place I used to work so I wasn't just making certain stories and aspects about the job up off the top of my head, we've been contacting each other a lot and we seem to get on well, when we met up she said she's quite conservative about work and paying your way (so was I but it's been a few years since I've done that).

I haven't perpetuated the lie, ie "Are you working tomorrow",
"I have nothing on tomorrow"...

I know I have to tell her but I don't know how to approach it.

I could just try 'get away' with it for another few weeks but the problem is by then I'll know whether I like her enough or not to see how I'd like things to progress which could ultimately mean I lose her because of the lie, or I mightn't care.

I'm aware a whopper of a lie like this going on will only become a bigger deal to her the longer it goes on.

It's like her knowing me well enough to give it a try vrs. being as open and honest as possible.

Zen65

Notgoodatlying wrote: »

It's like her knowing me well enough to give it a try vrs. being as open and honest as possible.

If you lie to her, all she will know about you is that you are a liar.

In the end, truth is always best.

Be at peace,

Z

peckerhead

You still here?

judgefudge

I'd tell her. I mean at least you're still in that really early stage where you can claim you were trying to impress her (true) and you were drunk and it just kinda came out. Unless she's really strict on the whole working thing I doubt she's going to dump you over it, but then again if she does she does. It kind of depends if you have the same work ethic as her, despite being unemployed.

Either that or tell her you get laid off over the next week or two, although I really wouldn't advocate more lies.

Merkin

Just tell her you were trying to impress her and that you've felt bad about it since. Better to come clean now rather than having to have a very embarrassing conversation at a later stage which will make you look at best like a Walter Mitty type flake and at worst someone incapable of telling the truth.

blatantrereg

I think you need to consider it not just from her point of view, but from your own. What if she rates people by their job? That would be an undesirable trait in her: It should be a dealbreaker for you really, since you are unemployed.

when we met up she said she's quite conservative about work and paying your way (so was I but it's been a few years since I've done that).

Do you mean she said she thought it was important for everyone to work to pay their way?, and that it's been a few years since you worked?

I think truth is always best, for your own sake as much as anything else. Best to do so sooner rather than later. Developing an emotional attachment to her is not a good idea if she's not interested in sticking around after hearing the truth, or if her attitude puts you off her.

Just say you felt embarrassed about being out of work. It's not really a big a lie imo. It's not something that should be seen as defining who you are, or something you should be getting judged on. Tell her the truth asap, but don't make a big deal out of it or be overly apologetic.

Unregistered.

I'm gonna play Devil's Advocate here and say that you should just tell her you're being let go. Yes, it's another lie. Cut yourself some slack - you lied to impress her and it's got you in a hole. Get yourself out and start afresh, at least then you can be honest from then on.

LegacyUser

i wouldnt tell her ur being let go, lies always come out in the end, what if down the line she met your family and it came out youve been unemployed awhile.

id just be honest, if shes just going out with because you have a job do you really want to go out with someone like that.

the truth however much it can hurt, its always best

NeonCookies

Tell her. I had a boyfriend who lied to me for a year about something similar. At first, it was just the one lie, but if you're in a relationship with someone it snowballs into so many more trying to cover for the first one. As soon as I found out (he didn't tell me btw, discovered it through someone else) he was gone. Not because of the truth, but because of all the lies.

Tell her, and let her make her own decision before it gets too serious, when it'll hurt less.

Big Bag of Chips

peckerhead, I'm not sure who your post is directed at, or what you mean by it, but it breaches the Forum Charter.

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