FML

LegacyUser

So, I'm not really sure where to start except to say I hate my life right now...

1. I HATE my job- I started a job on a temp basis about 18 monthes ago. Little did i know it would become the bane of my existence. I know, it's terrible when so many are unemployed, but it just stresses me out beyond belief. We are so short-staffed all the time, and I'm being thrown onto stuff I don't have a clue how to do. I wake up every day feeling physically sick at the thought of going in for another 8 hours of hell. I feel trapped because Im trying to save up money to go back to college and I know the jobs market is so sh1t right now... so I'm stuck there for the time being. I'm not getting any younger though (24) and I know the longer I leave it to go back to college, the harder it will be to start my 'real' career.



2. Personal Life- Love my boyfriend to bits but, he lives so far away. we have a flat together, but I really only see him on the weekends or face a four hour commute each day from our apartment to work.

That means, Im stuck in my sh1tty home town during the week. My two best friends don't live here anymore- so I'm just online or reading most evenings. I contact my friends who live abroad through FB and it just DEPRESSES me to see them having a whale of time while I'm stuck in Bumblefcuk, USA with no friends and nothing to do. Any interest I have in anything is slowly being sapped away by work anyway.

3. Mentally/emotionally- I'm a train wreck of a human being. I try to keep the worst of it from my boyfriend, because who wants to be with a needy loser? Tbh, the last few weeks have really made me question why anyone bothers with living at all. I'm only happy when I'm off my face drunk at the weekends and talking sh1te to my drinking buddies. they're people who are kinda my friends, but i only see them at the weekends too ( same town as my bf), so it's hard to develop proper friendships.

The best part is- I know objectively my life isn't half as bad as other peoples. I know it can only get worse. I'm not even sure what I want from this post- I just needed some advice/ help/ sympathy.

Diziet

The job market might be bad, but what's to stop you looking for a better job now? Having an escape plan makes the current one more tolerable in the meantime.

Honey-ec

Seriously, if your job is making you that miserable, then get the hell out of there. I know it's practically illegal to say that in this day and age, but I spent almost 2.5 years in a job I loathed each and every second of, and it very nearly ruined my life. I finally just handed in my notice one day, with nothing else lined up, and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

I was exactly like you - all I could think about was work, all the time. I dreamt about it every night. On Fridays, I'd bound in the door full of the joys of it being the weekend, but by 11pm that night I'd be utterly depressed again at the thoughts of going back there on Monday. I drank waaaay too much. I had no interest in going anywhere or doing anything, because that job had literally sucked every ounce of joy out of my life. My husband, unfortunately, bore the brunt of my unhappiness. He did his best, but 2.5 years of living with a desperately unhappy person will take their toll on anyone, and my marriage broke up. There were other issues at play, but hand on my heart, I think I would still be married if I had just packed in that god-fcuking-awful job sooner. That's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. You don't have to.

Get the hell out of there. Life is too short. Very few people who haven't been in your position can understand how hating a job that much can literally take over your whole life, but it can and does. Hand in your notice, then get out there and apply for every single job going. I had a tough couple of months after I finished up in that job, but the relief of knowing I never, ever had to go back there more than made up for it.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for your replies....

Honey-ec, in a weird way I'm glad someone else has been in the same position as me! I'm very sensitive and prone to depression/negativity so i was feeling for awhile that it was just all in my head and I had to suck it up and be a stronger person... but im starting to wonder if money is worth sacrificing my mental health for... Your post is exactly how I feel, especially the bit about the weekends...I'm sick of the sinking feeling on Sunday night...

My parents keep going on about how Im lucky to have a job and not to worry so much, but they dont have to go in there everyday.

I am on the look-out for a better job, but the area I wanted to get into is quite competitive plus its public sector so y'know, half the jobs are gone anyway ! I do have a 'contact' of sorts that I've been wondering if I should just send a CV to them 'on spec' but I'm not sure if its pointless... I'm also worried about the dole side of things- I don't think they appreciate you walking out of a job so Id have no money for 9 weeks. It would probably wipe out what savings I have currently...

Gah, I just feel over-whelmed I suppose, but your posts have given me food for thought. I mentioned to my boss that Id like to change departments over the stress, etc and they said they would try but nothing is guaranteed, I could probably hold out a bit longer if i was moved.

Diziet

In the meantime, take job hunting seriously. Get your LinkedIn profile up, link to as many contacts as possible, call up people you know and let them know you are looking, etc. Use your contacts, pick up the phone and talk to them, especially if they are older and more experienced. people love to give advice.

Your parents mean well, but it is your career and your life, so you have to take steps to make it better. And taking action works like a magic pill for depressive thoughts, it really does.

anewme

Honey-ec wrote: »

Seriously, if your job is making you that miserable, then get the hell out of there. I know it's practically illegal to say that in this day and age, but I spent almost 2.5 years in a job I loathed each and every second of, and it very nearly ruined my life. I finally just handed in my notice one day, with nothing else lined up, and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

I was exactly like you - all I could think about was work, all the time. I dreamt about it every night. On Fridays, I'd bound in the door full of the joys of it being the weekend, but by 11pm that night I'd be utterly depressed again at the thoughts of going back there on Monday. I drank waaaay too much. I had no interest in going anywhere or doing anything, because that job had literally sucked every ounce of joy out of my life. My husband, unfortunately, bore the brunt of my unhappiness. He did his best, but 2.5 years of living with a desperately unhappy person will take their toll on anyone, and my marriage broke up. There were other issues at play, but hand on my heart, I think I would still be married if I had just packed in that god-fcuking-awful job sooner. That's something I have to live with for the rest of my life. You don't have to.

Get the hell out of there. Life is too short. Very few people who haven't been in your position can understand how hating a job that much can literally take over your whole life, but it can and does. Hand in your notice, then get out there and apply for every single job going. I had a tough couple of months after I finished up in that job, but the relief of knowing I never, ever had to go back there more than made up for it.

+one million percent on what Honey EC said. I could have written that post. I was in a job as well that I hated, hated, hated. I became a miserable moany negative cow and was getting in at night drinking a bottle of wine and eating takeaway every night. I put on almost 2 stone in 4 months. Would not go out, no interest in myself, etc etc. I am single and was living like a hermit and lost all pride in my appearance and everything.

Like that, happy on Friday but once Sunday morning kicked in, the massive black dog was back. I was so seriously depressed it was unreal.

I did not jack it in, but became focussed on getting a new job which I love and 5 years later am still in.

I was only in that horrible place for 4 months but it done be untold damage (and nearly a year at Slimming World) to get back to me.

If I had known that I would be out of that place in 4 months I would have handed in my notice much sooner. It was the worst time of my life.

Leave as soon as you can. Agree Life is wayyyyy too short.

LegacyUser

It sounds to me like the job is what's causing the other problems!

Work to live not live to work....

blatantrereg

If you stop getting off your face drunk at the weekend you'll have more money and be in a much better state emotionally. Drinking a significant amount has a severely negative effect on your general mood and temperament, and not just when you're drunk or hung-over.

You don't say anything about your job that makes me think you should leave it. You're not working ridiculously long hours, you don't indicate you are being abused in any way. You just are under pressure a lot, and having to play it by ear. I think it would be better to address that by just keeping a sense of perspective about it. Go in, work steadily through the day, go home. That's all you need to do. It's not your problem if things don't get completed once you do that. Ensuring adequate support and staffing are someone else's responsibility. If you can't do something, or can't do it within a given time, then just say you can't do it.

You have a plan in mind that makes sense. If things are annoying you in the immediate sense, just remind yourself why you're doing them, and that they are just a means to an end, not something to worry about excessively.