Feeling sorry for myself

Lunni

Just need to get this off my chest...I feel so, so down. I've had so many little niggly medical issues over the last 5 years and they've really taken their toll on my quality of life. One of the issues I had was back/hip pain, I kept going to the doctor and I kept being fobbed off and told to exercise more and ended up going slightly crazy, thinking it must all just be in my head. Friends were unsympathetic and said 'everyone has that', so I thought I must just be a moan. I've now discovered that I have one leg significantly shorter than the other and this is the reason for the pain, and that leaving it so long to be diagnosed may have caused further problems. I'm only 27 and this issue means that over the last few years I have had to stop going to the gym, going hiking, I hardly ever have sex with my partner because it hurts my hips too much, I can't stand on trains/buses, so I often just stay in rather than go out...I guess I'm angry that it went undiagnosed for so long and in the end, I just started to accept my reduced quality of life. I may be able to start treatment for it now, but don't know how effective it will be.

I also have various other problems...PCOS causing facial hair, excess weight and terrible acne, a problem with my jaw which means it hurts to eat, a skin disorder which means my skin is scaly and raw, and various other things. I look at my friends and other girls and feel so jealous that they can just live their lives normally and that they take this for granted. Sure, I'm happy I don't have even worse problems or a serious disability, but I still wish I was normal. I feel like an absolute freak. Today I was supposed to go to a free concert with friends, but I can't go because I'm in agony with my back/hips. This coupled with not being able to find a job (I have one but it's really low paid), being broke, not being able to afford anything nice, just makes me feel so so down.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Lunni wrote: »

Just need to get this off my chest...I feel so, so down. I've had so many little niggly medical issues over the last 5 years and they've really taken their toll on my quality of life. One of the issues I had was back/hip pain, I kept going to the doctor and I kept being fobbed off and told to exercise more and ended up going slightly crazy, thinking it must all just be in my head. Friends were unsympathetic and said 'everyone has that', so I thought I must just be a moan. I've now discovered that I have one leg significantly shorter than the other and this is the reason for the pain, and that leaving it so long to be diagnosed may have caused further problems. I'm only 27 and this issue means that over the last few years I have had to stop going to the gym, going hiking, I hardly ever have sex with my partner because it hurts my hips too much, I can't stand on trains/buses, so I often just stay in rather than go out...I guess I'm angry that it went undiagnosed for so long and in the end, I just started to accept my reduced quality of life. I may be able to start treatment for it now, but don't know how effective it will be.

I also have various other problems...PCOS causing facial hair, excess weight and terrible acne, a problem with my jaw which means it hurts to eat, a skin disorder which means my skin is scaly and raw, and various other things. I look at my friends and other girls and feel so jealous that they can just live their lives normally and that they take this for granted. Sure, I'm happy I don't have even worse problems or a serious disability, but I still wish I was normal. I feel like an absolute freak. Today I was supposed to go to a free concert with friends, but I can't go because I'm in agony with my back/hips. This coupled with not being able to find a job (I have one but it's really low paid), being broke, not being able to afford anything nice, just makes me feel so so down.

Sounds like it's more your perception of yourself than you. You say you're happy, but to be honest you don't come across that way so the question is: are you happy?

If not, perhaps just a chat with a counsellor might help (your doctor can refer you to one) so that you can discuss yoru feelings or even just vent, and then when you see your freinds/girlfriend, you can put forward your positive (and hopefully genuine) happy self.

Lunni

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Sounds like it's more your perception of yourself than you. You say you're happy, but to be honest you don't come across that way so the question is: are you happy?

If not, perhaps just a chat with a counsellor might help (your doctor can refer you to one) so that you can discuss yoru feelings or even just vent, and then when you see your freinds/girlfriend, you can put forward your positive (and hopefully genuine) happy self.

No, I'm not happy at all. I meant, I know it could be worse and I'm glad that I'm not in a wheelchair etc but my life sucks. I'm in almost constant pain, I can't do 'normal' things like go for a walk, it's affecting my job (teaching) as I can't stand for long, it's affecting my relationship as sex is really painful. I hate the way I look, it's ruined my confidence. I'm jealous of people who don't have these problems and it's making me really bitter.

Stavro Mueller

This may be a stupid question but how much help have you gotten for your issues? Can you get special footwear for your leg? Have you seen a specialist about the PCOS? And I agree with Princess Consuela Bananahammock in that you do need to talk to someone - even a counsellor - before your bitterness destroys you and your relationship.

Lunni

cymbaline wrote: »

This may be a stupid question but how much help have you gotten for your issues? Can you get special footwear for your leg? Have you seen a specialist about the PCOS? And I agree with Princess Consuela Bananahammock in that you do need to talk to someone - even a counsellor - before your bitterness destroys you and your relationship.

I have literally only just found out about the leg thing. I've been going to the doctor about it for years and kept getting fobbed off every time, told to exercise more, do yoga, not cross my legs and only now have they actually done a scan and discovered the issue they should have discovered 10 years ago. I don't know yet what they can do about it and how much damage has already been done. Their 'advice' to exercise more has made things much worse.

I've seen a specialist about the PCOS and basically got fobbed off there too. She actually said, 'people have it much worse than you' and told me there's not a lot that can be done for it. This was after fighting to be referred to a specialist for years. I am totally drained and burned out from repeated visits to the doctor, having to take time off work every time, only to be told there's nothing wrong with me, and then find out later that there is.

Esoteric_

With regards to the pcos, see a different doctor. It's quite easily managed with certain types of the pill or with glucophage.

You have it rough with the medical issues so it's no wonder you're feeling down, but based on this thread and your previous threads, I'd suggest you speak to a counsellor, you obviously have a lot going on that you need to get your head around.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Lunni wrote: »

I have literally only just found out about the leg thing. I've been going to the doctor about it for years and kept getting fobbed off every time, told to exercise more, do yoga, not cross my legs and only now have they actually done a scan and discovered the issue they should have discovered 10 years ago. I don't know yet what they can do about it and how much damage has already been done. Their 'advice' to exercise more has made things much worse.

I've seen a specialist about the PCOS and basically got fobbed off there too. She actually said, 'people have it much worse than you' and told me there's not a lot that can be done for it. This was after fighting to be referred to a specialist for years. I am totally drained and burned out from repeated visits to the doctor, having to take time off work every time, only to be told there's nothing wrong with me, and then find out later that there is.

Okay, so you've reached a turning point: now that you know what the problems is it can be fixed. It's just a case of finding the right people, and you;ve been bloody unlucky so far. They are out there.

I would make complaints about people who've fobbed you off, too.

Op, regarding your history of threads and the medical nature of your problems, we feel PI will be unable to help you any further and strongly advise seeing a/another GP.

all the best