Marriage Is Terrible

Dad11

My marriage has gone downhill since my son was born. I had a huge bustup with my wife's family just after my son was born. That has been resolved to a point, but my wife and don't get on anymore. We argue every weekend, and we have disagreement's every day of the week.

I have been to counselling so that I can try and become a better person. However my wife and I just don't get on anymore.

Taltos

OP - this forum is more appropriate. The other forum is for the support of people currently in the process of separation / divorce.

All the best
Taltos

LegacyUser

Hi...

Marriage (all relationships really) are hard work.

You haven't really expanded on if you have a current issue... Or if ye are in a vicious circle of fighting and being odd with each other.
Personally speaking, you need to try and be "nice" to each other.
Let the small things go, if possible, and try see the bigger picture.
For example making someone a cup of tea can be a small action that can mean a lot.
Remember how you used to treat each other in the beginning and try and act like that.


Having a new baby is such a wonderful event, that sometimes we forget its also a HUGE life changing event.
How old is your little boy, are ye getting sleep?

You have gone to counselling, on your own or a couple?
Do you still love her?

Or are you done?
Waiting to give up?

TryingToStayMarried

Pigeon Reaper

Dad11 wrote: »

My marriage has gone downhill since my son was born. I had a huge bustup with my wife's family just after my son was born. That has been resolved to a point, but my wife and don't get on anymore. We argue every weekend, and we have disagreement's every day of the week.

I have been to counselling so that I can try and become a better person. However my wife and I just don't get on anymore.

A relationship isn't just one person. You should both go to counseling and try to work things out.

Disagreements and debates can sometimes be healthy but if it the underlying issue isn't being addressed they will just continue. This is where getting some relationship help will be valuable.

A new baby will try a relationship without any other issues creeping in so it's not too surprising that you're finding it hard at the moment.

None of your current options will be easy so please don't make any rash decisions. No matter what happens always remember that there's help out there and you don't need to go through things alone.

LegacyUser

It's really not a good enough excuse OP. You can't just say "marriage is terrible" and ye "just don't get on anymore"///subtext: I think we should split up- ye now have a son together, a tiny little person relying on you both to make this work!

How long have you been with your wife, dating and married?
How old is your son? Is there a possibility you're both transferring your anxiety about being new parents, onto each other? (as well as suffering from lack of sleep, &lack of quality time together?)
What are you even fighting over?
What was the fight with her family about?

If your wife was a work colleage, would you treat her differently, or bite your tongue on occasion? I think it's a good way to approach relationships sometime, just because you made a marriage vow doesn't mean all bets are off & you can both say whatever you like.....

December2012

Go to marriage counselling together, you are probably both stuck in a pattern of behaviour you don't know how to get out of.

Beruthiel

Dad11 wrote: »

I have been to counselling so that I can try and become a better person. However my wife and I just don't get on anymore.

You both need to go to counseling.
And more importantly, you both need to want to fix this.

Having a baby can put an awful strain on any relationship.
It's tiring, stressful and hard work.
If you are both not working towards the same direction it will fall apart.
Talk to your wife.
Help her out as much as you can.
If this has happened since she gave birth, perhaps she is suffering from post natal depression. I said PERHAPS, as only a doctor can make that kind of diagnosis and if you feel she is not herself, talk to her about seeing one.

That is all I can say for now as you have given very little info to go on.

Emme

You and your wife need to work on this together.