life full of sadness

LegacyUser

I am not even sure why im posting this. I am sorry for the long thread.
I am a foreign national, living in Ireland for the past 10 years.
Have a sad situation at home, my mum died 3 years ago after a long, agonizing illness and it was really hard to see her disappearing every day a little bit more. She was everything for me and i watched her crying for the pain and there was nothing i could do, just being strong for her and hoping that it would end soon.
it eventually did and it left a hole in my heart. my dad is mentally ill, he is bipolar and has a diagnosis of maniac depression. When my mum was diagnosed, I was given a diagnosis of cancer too. It is under control now but im under heavy medication that caused weight gain, depression, insomnia, mood swings, the works !!! have a brother at home, unemployed and selfish, have to keep reminding him of stuff that needs to be done, but need to be careful about the way i say things as im often told that life for me ie easy since im in ireland and dont have to deal with all the sh**e he has to deal with... have a boyfriend but things arent good, the man has been unemployed for a long time now he has got a new job, that gets him to work every weekend, leaving me on my own. dont get me wrong : im real happy hes working and doing something he likes, but hes also my best friend and feel lost without him. have few friends from work but one lives in the country, another one lives on the other side of the city, so i dont have many choices and im finding hard to meet new people that share my same interest. I am sorry for the rant, im just feeling at my wits end and want to find a way out of this tunnel. thanks for reading

bus_driver

you,ve obviously been through a lot , its particulary unfair that your brother says you have it easy just because you live in Ireland , as if this place is the land of milk and honey , unfortunately we cant pick our relatives

could you consider enrolling in a class , you obviously speak English , would you consider joining a language class which covers irish , might sound odd but learning the native language would show a deep sense of integration into your new country

if that's not your thing , why not involve yourself in some charity - voluntary work locally , I know it can be hard at the start but sometimes you have to throw yourself in at the deep end , I relocated to another part of the country due to very difficult circumstances with a family member , best thing I ever done despite the fact that I knew no one in the area when I first arrived

LegacyUser

thank you for the advice. i tried to do volunteer work but i backed out at the last minute, now i have applied for dog walker at dogs trust but havent heard backyet, hopefully that will work. its the feeling of loneliness that kills me, not having anybody to talk to or to spend my weekend with. i usually do house chores, bit of shopping, walking if the weather allows and thats it. then monday its back to work. I love the people i work with but none of them knows how down i really feel, wouldnt want any of them to tiptoe around me or being all compassionate. the only person that knows everything is my partner but he has no more time for me or for us due to his new job and given the current climate, theres no chance he'll get a monday to friday job 9 to 5, plus he likes what he does, so i wouldnt want to take that away from him. im considering all options, including going back home and give myself a fresh start but im worried about my health and my future (im in a good job here and back home there is one chance i would get a similar position) just want to meet like minded ladies that enjoy the same things i do, which doesnt necessarily have to be drinking... thank you for reading again.

Daisy78

Hi op

Have you tried heading along to any of the meet up.com meetings? There are tons of them in dublin (I presume you are in Dublin). It is hard to build up a social group from scratch but its not impossible. You have to be patient though, it doesn't happen overnight but slowly you will start to build up a bigger social group and hopefully make some good friends from trying different things. It's no harm for you to have a social life outside of that with your partner, it's not good to become too dependent on one person..... I speak from experience.

Hope this helps and sorry to hear about your mum op.

Ceiteach

Sorry for your troubles OP.

It sounds like you already have some sort of relationship with your colleagues, could you build on this? Maybe organise a work night out or weekend trip, or some kind of fundraiser with them.

Night or weekend courses are also a good way to beat the boredom and meet like minded local people. Your local school will probably have a decent selection even.

Hope your situation improves, all the best.