The Dog Brained Woman (adult content)

Susy Shackleton

Hello all, I would like your opinions on the first chapter of my novel "The Dog Brained Woman". Here is a brief summary of the plot: In China the one child policy, combined with a preference for male children has resulted in crisis. There aren't enough woman. In a desperate attempt to restore order scientists create a substitute for the human female, but they must break every ethical boundary to succeed...and awaken a terrifying evil in the process.

Chapter One: Raining Cats and Dogs

It was a cold and stormy night. Xui Li was readying himself for bed, his pajamas were warm from the tumble dryer and he had just finished watching the snooker.

"Life is good" Xui said to himself.

Like most Chinese men Xui had a good quality of life. In recent years China had become the dominant world power, both militarily and economically, and the standard of living was high. Xui had a good job working in the toffee factory down the road, as head of quality control. He used to joke that he was so sick of toffee that were the factory to burn down, killing it's employees and the surrounding population, he would laugh merrily. But in reality he was lucky to have this job, the demand for confectionery was high in modern China. However there was one thing missing from Xui's life...a woman. Like most Chinese men the only woman Xui had known was his mother, now deceased. Occasionally he saw women on TV, but he hadn't met one in the flesh for well over twenty years. In the past female babies had been discarded at the roadside like chip wrappers, their parents had wanted a male child. Rumor had it that woman sweat smelt like ground cinnamon, and their tears tasted like lime cordial. But those were just rumors, no one knew for sure...

After finishing reading a book on horses Xui fell asleep. He was in a deep sleep when he was suddenly awakened. The telephone was ringing. In his confusion Xui reached for his Hello Kitty alarm clock - 3:56am. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. It was Dr. Ting from the science department at the toffee factory, Xui's childhood friend and Kung Fu sparring partner. He was audibly distressed and needed someone to confide in.

"They finally did it Xui, the experiments have worked. The canid brain was accepted and is transmitting brainwaves! This will be better than those female sex robots currently on the market. This will be alive! It will have a soul, Xui...A soul.".

That was the first Xui heard of the secret project being carried out in the bowels of the toffee factory, the toffee fermenting vats to be precise. Right under their noses, and no one knew...They were creating a woman. It had been attempted before using robotics. Mechanical women, gynoids, were created to provide an outlet for the male sex drive. The massive reduction in the female population had caused social imbalance, riots and looting were commonplace in the poorer communities where men couldn't afford realistic female companions and had to resort to more primitive, inflatable substitutes.

Dr. Ting had arrived from his morning Kung Fu practice and was visibly sweaty. The board room was dimly lit and the electric buzz of florescent lights could be heard. Xui had been summoned to this room on short notice, he hadn't had time to check the nuts and raisins toffee mix for impurities. He sat at a table with three other men, one of whom was Dr. Ting.

"How can I be of assistance?" Asked Xui.

"As you know we have a new, secret product which has been produced in this facility. The woman shortage is now critical, the government fears a civil war. We have been experimenting with recreating human tissue from plasmoid germ cells. Unfortunately we have found it impossible to recreate the most complex organ in the human body - the brain." Replied Dr. Ting.

Dr. Ting wiped the Kung Fu sweat from his brow and switched on the projector console. The display consisted of images of various neurological diagrams.

"We finally decided to substitute the female brain with an analogous, more easily replicable specimen. The brain of a dog."

The projector showed images of a dog brain being extracted from it's original body and placed into the head of human being. A human woman. There was lots of red everywhere.

Ting continued: "Xui, we need someone to discretly test this new model. We want you to take our Dog Brained Woman home tonight. You will be briefed on how to feed her, take her for walks and clean her excrement."

That night a large box was delivered to Xui's house. There were muffled noises coming from inside. Xui gingerly opened the crate...inside was a Dog Brained Woman, looking up at him with big woman eyes, it's protruding tongue panting rhythmically. She was naked with pink meaty flaps on her chest. The creature lept at Xui, licking his face affectionately.

"It's a miracle" Thought Xui. "A real woman! In my house! I shall call you Trixie."

Remembering an old TV film in which a man and woman dined together in a restaurant Xui fetched a bowl from the kitchen, filled it with dog food, and placed it on the floor. Trixie ate it ravenously, her pretty womans face was smeared with brown meat slime. She pawed at Xui's torso with her small womans hands, her slender womans fingers splayed.

"Sit" commanded Xui. No response. He tapped her on the nose and repeated his command, louder, "sit!".

Trixie sat on her haunches, tongue lolling out.

"Good girl!" said Xui, and threw her a dog biscuit.

An hour later Trixie pawed at the door, whimpering. Remembering his instructions Xui placed a leash around Trixie's neck and opened the door. Once on the lawn Trixie squatted for about half a minute. When she was finished there was a brown sausage on the lawn. Xui placed a plastic bag over his hand and picked it up.

Firewalkwithme

This is a joke right?

Didn't read it properly first time, I can confirm it's a joke LOL