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Debs plan
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25-05-2013 2:25am#1Well. So here it goes.
I have been texting this girl for almost two months now and asked her to the debs a month ago. A good friend of mine who intruciced he to me was saying that she told his girlfriend that she would probably shift me at de debs
Now we do be chatting for most of the day, every day and i grown to like her.
My problem is that when i'm around her i'm usaly stuck for words to talk about and i wana try to get with her before the debs to make it a bit more speical. Now i'm on a bit of the heavy side and working on my weight already. 2 of my friends said that we should try is going to 1 of are houses (6 of us) and then the two pairs go off to do their thing and hope for the best for my self. Or try asking her while out on the bank holiday weekend and if somthing did go tits up i could try blame it on de drink.
I'm hopeing on all your advice to be able to push me into the write direction on how to approch her.
Thanks0
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Cavan duck buster wrote: »Well. So here it goes.
I have been texting this girl for almost two months now and asked her to the debs a month ago. A good friend of mine who intruciced he to me was saying that she told his girlfriend that she would probably shift me at de debs
I'd really wait to hear that from the horse's mouth so to speak tbh. Nothing good ever came of third hand information.Now we do be chatting for most of the day, every day and i grown to like her. My problem is that when i'm around her i'm usaly stuck for words to talk about
Ohh how do I say this... well, as politely as possible I suppose- you haven't grown to like this girl, you've grown to like texting her constantly, which leads to problem number two- because you're constantly texting her (I presume she texts you back too), you leave yourselves nothing to talk about when you meet up!
Another thing- You're texting her constantly for the last two months, and you have to hear it off your mate who introduced the two of you who says his girlfriend heard it off this girl that she might want to shift you at the debs? Ask the girl HERSELF what SHE thinks, to her face, Christ not by text!
Of course it'll be awkward face to face but yknow, if you're planning on being naked together, the least you could do is ask her how she might feel about it.and i wana try to get with her before the debs to make it a bit more speical.
The mind truly boggles. I understand what you're saying but Christ man ease up on the throttle before you start leaking petrol everywhere! One way to make it more special is not to put pressure on either of you like that. Don't make getting your hole the end goal, if we're going to need to be so crude about it.
Yknow the way people say "Concentrate on yada yada"? Don't. Don't concentrate on anything. You'll send your brain into a spin and you won't be able to relax. So what if you don't have sex at your debs. If you truly want it to be special, you'll have sex when you're BOTH ready, and not just some drunken fumble so you can fist pump your mates and say you got laid the next morning.Now i'm on a bit of the heavy side and working on my weight already. 2 of my friends said that we should try is going to 1 of are houses (6 of us) and then the two pairs go off to do their thing and hope for the best for my self.
Well, if you're looking to make her feel awkward and pressured and in no way considerate of how she might actually feel, then yes, you and your friends have come up with the perfect plan. If however you'd like to show her that you're a mature (you ARE over 17, right?) young adult, then talking to her would be a much better approach, and again- not by text! Face to face!Or try asking her while out on the bank holiday weekend and if somthing did go tits up i could try blame it on de drink.
Alcohol and sex only mix well in the movies. Outside of that, and especially given that you're way overthinking this thing already, you'd better start practicing your blame it on the drink speech. I presume you'll at least be sober enough to fit on a condom? They're tricky little bastards, trust me!
Actually without one and drink taken now I think of it, it could very well lead to a tricky little bastard! :pac:I'm hopeing on all your advice to be able to push me into the write direction on how to approch her.
Thanks
Face to face man, forget about the texting, if you can't approach her face to face, how the hell do you think either of you are going to be any way comfortable getting naked with each other?
Stop texting. Talk to this girl yourself is my best advice.0 -
Cavan duck buster wrote: »Well. So here it goes.
I have been texting this girl for almost two months now and asked her to the debs a month ago. A good friend of mine who intruciced he to me was saying that she told his girlfriend that she would probably shift me at de debs
Now we do be chatting for most of the day, every day and i grown to like her.
My problem is that when i'm around her i'm usaly stuck for words to talk about and i wana try to get with her before the debs to make it a bit more speical. Now i'm on a bit of the heavy side and working on my weight already. 2 of my friends said that we should try is going to 1 of are houses (6 of us) and then the two pairs go off to do their thing and hope for the best for my self. Or try asking her while out on the bank holiday weekend and if somthing did go tits up i could try blame it on de drink.
I'm hopeing on all your advice to be able to push me into the write direction on how to approch her.
Thanks
Hey, I'm 19 and man, I hear you about the Debs
It can be a really exciting time, I LOVED the two I went to.
Firstly, congrats on asking a girl you like to the Debs. To be honest that's a great achievement when you consider how many horror stories you hear about a week before the debs of girls/guys being asked and having to sort a lot of stuff quickly or even saying no. You're over the first hurdle
Secondly, re your weight, she wouldn't have said yes if she didn't like you to some degree and in my opinion, texting a lot can show that at least on a friends level, ye get on well Czarcasm is right though when they say that's probably the reason ye have nothing to talk about when ye meet up. If you're talking all day everyday, it's impossible to muster up some fresh conversations topics. And there really is nothing worse than talking to someone and thinking "I've heard ALL this before".
Now to approach the "getting with her" scenario, there seems to be a bit of confusion. You say your friend says she wants to shift you at the debs? When's your debs? You talk about wanting to get with her before then? I'm presuming you mean, be her boyfriend? Otherwise, I think you're playing a risky game. Czarcasm seems to think you want to have sex with her, whilst where I'm from, getting the shift is akin to French Kissing?
What exactly are you hoping to achieve? She said yes to your Debs, ye text a lot, she APPARENTLY said that she'll shift you at the Debs... I agree with Czarcasm.I'd really wait to hear that from the horse's mouth so to speak tbh. Nothing good ever came of third hand information.
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Stop texting. Talk to this girl yourself is my best advice.
Best of luck.
And enjoy the Debs!0 -
MauraTheThird wrote: »Hey, I'm 19 and man, I hear you about the Debs It can be a really exciting time, I LOVED the two I went to.
Firstly, congrats on asking a girl you like to the Debs. To be honest that's a great achievement when you consider how many horror stories you hear about a week before the debs of girls/guys being asked and having to sort a lot of stuff quickly or even saying no. You're over the first hurdle
Secondly, re your weight, she wouldn't have said yes if she didn't like you to some degree and in my opinion, texting a lot can show that at least on a friends level, ye get on well Czarcasm is right though when they say that's probably the reason ye have nothing to talk about when ye meet up. If you're talking all day everyday, it's impossible to muster up some fresh conversations topics. And there really is nothing worse than talking to someone and thinking "I've heard ALL this before".
Now to approach the "getting with her" scenario, there seems to be a bit of confusion. You say your friend says she wants to shift you at the debs? When's your debs? You talk about wanting to get with her before then? I'm presuming you mean, be her boyfriend? Otherwise, I think you're playing a risky game. Czarcasm seems to think you want to have sex with her, whilst where I'm from, getting the shift is akin to French Kissing?
What exactly are you hoping to achieve? She said yes to your Debs, ye text a lot, she APPARENTLY said that she'll shift you at the Debs... I agree with Czarcasm.
Best of luck.
And enjoy the Debs!
(Quote) [When's your debs? You talk about wanting to get with her before then? I'm presuming you mean, be her boyfriend? Otherwise, I think you're playing a risky game. Czarcasm seems to think you want to have sex with her, whilst where I'm from, getting the shift is akin to French Kissing? ]
Are debs is two months away now.
Yes i would like her to be ny girlfriend and if not by then shift a few times and the ask her to be my girlfriend No i'm not like that, i would never be looking for sex before asking her to be my G.F and after a wile befor we grew to know each-other on another level.
(Quoye) [What exactly are you hoping to achieve? She said yes to your Debs, ye text a lot, she APPARENTLY said that she'll shift you at the Debs... I agree with Czarcasm. ]
I'm hopeing to achieve to become her B.F. Now i'm trying to get myself to be able to ring her insted of texting her as i think this is a better stepping stone but still don't know what ta say and for what reason why im ringing her.0 -
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How about just picking up the phone and ask her if she wants to go bowling/see a film/whatever else people of your age do. Take it from there. If she likes you things will happen in their own good time. Don't be setting yourself targets for when you must sleep with her etc. And for gods sake don't keep your mates in the loop with regards to what you are or aren't doing.
In fairness to Cavan, he said he wanted to shift her, not have sex with her. Let's not escalate this into something it's not.
Cavan, I think that cymbaline is right though, call her, ask her out on the cinema or to town or something. Somewhere conversation will flow and you'll be able to see whether you want to try and grow something with her 0 -
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Hi there OP
First of all, fair play to you for wanting to be this girl's bf and not just wanting the shift/ride etc.
Now just an idea on what you might be able to do to progress things a little further and something which I know I would appreciate if a guy did if he was trying to start a relationship with me...
Try find out does she have any speciffic interests and set something up where you do something together to do with one of these. Whether she likes a speciffic type of film, music, drinks herbal tea, is into bird watching....... probably very bad examples but hopefully you understand my point...
If you can do this it would really show her that you like her and it means a lot to girls when guys they like show an interest in their hobbies/interests also.
Very best of luck and hope it works out for you with this girl and that you enjoy your debs two 0 -
Hi there OP
First of all, fair play to you for wanting to be this girl's bf and not just wanting the shift/ride etc.
Now just an idea on what you might be able to do to progress things a little further and something which I know I would appreciate if a guy did if he was trying to start a relationship with me...
Try find out does she have any speciffic interests and set something up where you do something together to do with one of these. Whether she likes a speciffic type of film, music, drinks herbal tea, is into bird watching....... probably very bad examples but hopefully you understand my point...
If you can do this it would really show her that you like her and it means a lot to girls when guys they like show an interest in their hobbies/interests also.
Very best of luck and hope it works out for you with this girl and that you enjoy your debs two
Thanks afterglow
That sounds like a great idea, i did bring her to a clay ground so she could gove it a try and under stand it as she had no idea about shooting, so i could find out more of her intrests ta bring us a bit closer if can see i care about her intrests (i do) the only thing is that i think it might be a bit awkword on are own as we always see eachother in groups 6-7 of us with her friends and mine so i think it might be a small challenge for me getting my self ta get the 2 of us out :I is their any good activites that could be with teams of 2 ta help???
And also as a woman would you find the weight issue (working progess) a major stepping stone?
Thanks0 -
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Hi again OP
I would not find the weight thing a big issue myself to be honest no, especially if you are trying to do something about it, but even if you weren't I'm not sure it would really bother me that much at all really, if at all. Anyway, like others have said, if this girl has said yes to going to the debs with you then she obviously doesn't mind it either, so really, don't stress over it.
As for activities, maybe I am barking up the wrong tree here, but could you try something like going for a nice sceenic walk or something? You could bring a picnic or something. If the picnic is two much bother you could just take her on a walk, and pick up a nice icecream along the way, especially if the weather is as nice as today 0 -
Hi again OP
I would not find the weight thing a big issue myself to be honest no, especially if you are trying to do something about it, but even if you weren't I'm not sure it would really bother me that much at all really, if at all. Anyway, like others have said, if this girl has said yes to going to the debs with you then she obviously doesn't mind it either, so really, don't stress over it.
As for activities, maybe I am barking up the wrong tree here, but could you try something like going for a nice sceenic walk or something? You could bring a picnic or something. If the picnic is two much bother you could just take her on a walk, and pick up a nice icecream along the way, especially if the weather is as nice as today
Thanks that really took soo much pressure of my sholder abput the weight
Ya i think a walk would be a good idea but how would i bring that into a conversation??? I am very nervise if she were to say no or make up some reason not to
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Cavan duck buster wrote: »Thanks that really took soo much pressure of my sholder abput the weight
Ya i think a walk would be a good idea but how would i bring that into a conversation??? I am very nervise if she were to say no or make up some reason not to
Thanks
Wait till it's a nice day then call/text her and say, something like "Hi it's a really nice day and I am thinking of taking a walk to/around X place, would you like to join me if you're not doing anything in X time" you can leave out the bit about the time if you want and just ask if she wants to join you?
I am sure she would prob say yes so you'll likely have absolutely nothing to worry about.
A walk is a lovely way to get more of a chance to chat, and there's nothing to say yu have to walk the whole time, you might find a nice place to sit and chat where it's quiet or that...0 -
Wait till it's a nice day then call/text her and say, something like "Hi it's a really nice day and I am thinking of taking a walk to/around X place, would you like to join me if you're not doing anything in X time" you can leave out the bit about the time if you want and just ask if she wants to join you?
I am sure she would prob say yes so you'll likely have absolutely nothing to worry about.
A walk is a lovely way to get more of a chance to chat, and there's nothing to say yu have to walk the whole time, you might find a nice place to sit and chat where it's quiet or that...
Ok that can work just have to drive over to the next town whare she lives, theirs a cannal walk way path so thats a good idea
I'm actualy texting he now, while i'm here is their any reason how i could ring her about maby somthing important and the just work into a conversation?
Thanks0 -
Cavan duck buster wrote: »Ok that can work just have to drive over to the next town whare she lives, theirs a cannal walk way path so thats a good idea
I'm actualy texting he now, while i'm here is their any reason how i could ring her about maby somthing important and the just work into a conversation?
Thanks
Stop trying to think of excuses to ring/see her! Just ask her can you ring her instead of texting, and have a chat!0 -
Stop trying to think of excuses to ring/see her! Just ask her can you ring her instead of texting, and have a chat!
Hi sorry for not writing back till now, but plus 1 to this. I remembr when I was talking to my bf for ages before we met up due to distance. for ages we were texting and then out of the blue one night he just decided to ring me for a chat, nothing more nothing less, and the rest, as they say, is history lol.
Ringing her for a chat as long as she's not doing anything at the time is perfectly acceptable. 0 -
Hi sorry for not writing back till now, but plus 1 to this. I remembr when I was talking to my bf for ages before we met up due to distance. for ages we were texting and then out of the blue one night he just decided to ring me for a chat, nothing more nothing less, and the rest, as they say, is history lol.
Ringing her for a chat as long as she's not doing anything at the time is perfectly acceptable.
Right i think i'll have to hold out on that until thursday as he is studying for her summer exam) 0 -
Ok new dilema. She said that she has no hobbys
at all and i don't thinks shes too intrested in shooting, fishing(my hobbies)
She said he only real intrest is one direction
so i say i could try inviting her to a consert
So a good 1 that she and i could enjoy aswell as walking along the river
Thanks0 -
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Cavan duck buster wrote: »Thanks, but sorry for acting like this but this is the first time i'm trying to get a girlfriend and i dont want to mess up and make thing awkword between us. I know your advice is good and sounds good its just me.
Things will be more awkward if you keep 'almost' asking her and then backing away.
Look, she's not going to be your girlfriend after one date. Take it slowly, and stop thinking about girlfriends. A date is just about getting to know her better, that's all, so relax a little. I know it's scary, but you have absolutely nothing to lose, so stop panicking. The sooner you ask, the sooner you get an answer. 0 -
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Things will be more awkward if you keep 'almost' asking her and then backing away.
Look, she's not going to be your girlfriend after one date. Take it slowly, and stop thinking about girlfriends. A date is just about getting to know her better, that's all, so relax a little. I know it's scary, but you have absolutely nothing to lose, so stop panicking. The sooner you ask, the sooner you get an answer.
Ok so hows this on tuesday i have a driving leasson and i can give her a shout if she wants to go for a walk while i'm passing through the town on my way back. Oh ya i fully know she wount just beome my gf after 1-2 outings.0 -
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callaway92 wrote: »Hiya, first ever post in this forum..I actually enjoy reading some of the threads, I dunno, I kinda find them interesting.
Anyway, to the OP (Cavan Duck Buster) and I'm not trying to be too harsh here, but you're 18. Use those balls of yours to just ask her to go for the walk as the others have said above.
If worst came to worst and another guy came along and got her how would you feel? All of this waiting...waiting...waiting and then the chance is swept away from you.
The weather is good for the next few days so in the works of Nike ---> JUST DO IT!!
Thanks callaway i had made my mind and i am going to ask her out for a walk on Tuesday after my leasson of Wednesday after my driving test if the weather is **** (please note that i'm not avoiding the provlem here, would you really want to go walking while its pissing rain :P) i hope this all goes well:D:D 0 -
Ok i made plans with he and a few of us to go swimming after school as we stat are summer today
The lake is in a good location and their is a nice long walk path down the side so can see if she wants to go for a walk after the bbq.
Wish me the best.
Ps any other advice would be appreciated 0 -
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Well i ran into a suituation, last night we were out camping playing true or dare, my self nd 2 other lads were finishing off are fags and about to head back when over heard 1 of the girls asking my debs date if she is bring me to her debs next week, she said that she was bringing her brother now yesterday i had just spent over £300=€350 on 2 debs sutes and now i don't think i should even bother trying to move things anything further with her as she seems not to intrested in me what should i really do? 0
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Cavan duck buster wrote: »Well i ran into a suituation, last night we were out camping playing true or dare, my self nd 2 other lads were finishing off are fags and about to head back when over heard 1 of the girls asking my debs date if she is bring me to her debs next week, she said that she was bringing her brother now yesterday i had just spent over £300=€350 on 2 debs sutes and now i don't think i should even bother trying to move things anything further with her as she seems not to intrested in me what should i really do?
She's probably bringing her brother because no-one has asked her and it's embarrassing to go alone. She'd probably be delighted, go for it!0 -
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