Last minute excuse for pulling a 'sickie'

lkionm

Right, so I am leaving my current lowly retail job this sunday for a new nice job and I am working there tomorrow from 9-14.30 and then have to work in the crap job from 15-22 but will have to do a stock count which I do not want to do.

The 3 other people who are capable of doing this are also working tomorrow but all start around 9/9.30 , they are **** and give out about a few crumbs or if you leave a glass and not pick it up or give me rubbish staff with stupid hours, gowls essentially.

One of the 3 made me work 14 hours one friday before and said she will be back after the doctors but instead picked up her boyfriend who was closing with me at 10. She will be the one who will have to work it as she is finished at 7.

I am not worried about a reference from the place and since I have never called a 'sickie' after 5 years there, I think tomorrow is rather fitting. It will be sunny as well so thats more reason.

After hours will give better solutions to my problems than the serious answers of the work problems forum, as I am not bothered by the long term implications as I am gone on sunday.

I was thinking of saying I had the runs for the laugh.

lkionm

inb4 the Just go to work

artanevilla

Say you have a bout of veisalgia.

mad turnip

You can never go wrong with food poisoning!

the keen edge

Cat AIDS. As in you cant go in to work as you've contracted the cat AIDS.

My name is URL

"I was in a horrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable"

petes

Prolapsed rectum.

The Backwards Man

The lady in the other thread offered a puppet and a poem. What are you going to give me for helping you OP?

Archeron

My name is URL wrote: »

"I was in a horrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable"

Oh that... Turns out it was just gas.

lkionm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

The lady in the other thread offered a puppet and a poem. What are you going to give me for helping you OP?

The code to the safe and alarms, there is no cameras so we are good.



Oh and free coffee or tea.

AlmightyCushion

Just be honest with them and tell the you couldn't be bothered. Don't even bother calling in if you don't want to. What are they going to do? Fire you?

RichT

Those that leave crumbs and unpicked up glasses behind them should be Hung Drawn and Quartered IMO.

Therefore your excuse should be..................... Hung Drawn and Quartered.

The Backwards Man

lkionm wrote: »

The code to the safe and alarms, there is no cameras so we are good.



Oh and free coffee or tea.

Say you are going out with me that day. I'll corroborate.

Coffee, milk, no sugar please.:)

B.A._Baracus

Fuck them and take a sick day.
Never have loyalty to a job. Be it one you are quitting or still working at. Employers are quick enough to send you down the road when times are bad. Way of the world but also means have no loyalty.

So make any old excuse. Sure i myself have a chest cough flu right now (It's going around) so if you wanna use that, use that. But in fairness, knowing you are quitting you could make any excuse - blatant lie or not because it doesnt matter :pac:

lkionm

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Just be honest with them and tell the you couldn't be bothered. Don't even bother calling in if you don't want to. What are they going to do? Fire you?

I have 15 hours of work over the weekend and thats 150 euro so they will take me off the roster, the week goes from friday to thursday hence the stock counting thursday night and since I am leaving I couldnt give 2 sheets of how many caramel shortbreads we have.

bacon n eggs

The lady in the other thread offered a puppet and a poem. What are you going to give me for helping you OP?

Not so badass tonight huh?

Intensive Care Bear

mad turnip wrote: »

You can never go wrong with food poisoning!

I used that excuse today and it worked a treat, stayed in bed until 2 o clock, the only problem is now i'm thinking of using it for tomorrow too. Can i get 2 days out of it?

michael999999

Would it be too early to use the ive been beheaded excuse?

RayM

lkionm wrote: »

I was thinking of saying I had the runs for the laugh.

There is no better excuse. Especially if you describe everything in great detail when you phone your boss. Also, tell them you'll try to go in to work later "if it stops". They won't want you near them - they'll beg you not to come in until you're fully recovered (and disinfected).

Embarrassing illnesses always make the best excuses. Oh, and make sure you don't do that "sick voice" on the phone. Nobody talks like that when they're really sick.

Notorious97

Always hated stock takes, pain in the hole! Im a great guesser from my days of stock taking haha

If you dont care what they think, and you have a new job lined up, get up in the morning and call them and say your stomachs bad so you cant come in, problem solved!

Enjoy the sickie and good luck in new job!

B.A._Baracus

I always wondered if one should be more sneaky in these days of social media :pac:

If you had fellow workers on your facebook. Post disgusting sick comment. Which surely in turn would get your friends talking about it with more comments increasing liklihood of co-worker reading. You call sick. Co-worker inadvertently confirms story in passing next day.

I should write a hand book ... "the tossers way to get out of work"

mad turnip

What if they were throwing a party for you and your blowing them all off.....

irish bloke

You should ring up in the morning and say "hi, I can't come in today as I am hungover from a nights heavy drinking and if you don't mind I have to go back to bed to sleep it off, bye" and hang up

Ilik Urgee

Just check the obituaries and pick an appropiate funeral that suits your time frame/location.

irish bloke

1210m5g wrote: »

I used that excuse today and it worked a treat, stayed in bed until 2 o clock, the only problem is now i'm thinking of using it for tomorrow too. Can i get 2 days out of it?

A week would look more believable

lkionm

Notorious97 wrote: »

Always hated stock takes, pain in the hole! Im a great guesser from my days of stock taking haha

If you dont care what they think, and you have a new job lined up, get up in the morning and call them and say your stomachs bad so you can come in, problem solved!

Enjoy the sickie and good luck in new job!

There is about 5000 euro worth of stock in the shop and they want you to count it all to within a margain of 100 euro, not including all the stuff that gets wasted that isnt kept track of or if there is a mistake in the delivery.



I could go in and mess up the system as well for them, but your one who made me do the 14 hours is the biggest gowl I have ever met and would piss her off so much, but then I could go in and adda decimel point here and there or a few 9's and mess up the system for a few weeks.


Remind me to do a sneaky poo on sunday.


Any customer than comes in to me with the code word vagflaps gets a free drink and sandwich.

Cienciano

A guy I work with with said he just woke up from a bad dream so he couldn't come in. It worked

nc19

lkionm wrote: »

The code to the safe and alarms, there is no cameras so we are good.



Oh and free coffee or tea.

Ill take them off your hands

mad turnip

irish bloke wrote: »

A week would look more believable

No offence but your immune system sounds like ****. It also greatly depends on the how bad it is I guess.

For Forks Sake

I won't be in today Mister Bossman, I have smallpox.

lkionm

mad turnip wrote: »

What if they were throwing a party for you and your blowing them all off.....

They had their staff party on monday and they didnt ask if I was going. I got the hint it was my going away party that I wasnt invited to.


I wasnt the favourite child in there, at least I was the most handsome.

JustAThought

lkionm wrote: »

They had their staff party on monday and they didnt ask if I was going. I got the hint it was my going away party that I wasnt invited to.


I wasnt the favourite child in there, at least I was the most handsome.

Where's The shop OP !?
We could drop in during stocktake & keep You Chatting with stupid requests & questions at the till so you
Couldn't get away to do the stocktake - it'd still be waiting For herself when she came In on Monday...

stefan idiot jones

A guy rings up his boss to say that he can't make it to work today as he's sick.

The boss asks him just how sick is he ?

The guy replies 'I'm shagging my sister'.

lkionm

JustAThought wrote: »

Where's The shop OP !?
We could drop in during stocktake & keep You Chatting with stupid requests & questions at the till so you
Couldn't get away to do the stocktake - it'd still be waiting For herself when she came In on Monday...

Limerick, it will still have to be done, just have to put myself down on the roster for longer.


Codeword is vagflaps for free stuff

rolliepoley

Tell them you are having your boiler serviced to see if it needs to be replaced, and that you need to be there to let them in to do the work.

Boiler service is a serious matter.

Hownowcow

Cienciano wrote: »

A guy I work with with said he just woke up from a bad dream so he couldn't come in. It worked

A guy I work with said he just woke up in a bad dream so he had to go home. It didn't work.

poppyvally

I was reaching for the car keys & I pulled a back muscle

efb

Rectal prolapse

wexie

call in with lepracy :

No Boss, I can't come in to work today.

No my damned armed fell off....

Hell I drive I manual....

FGR

Explosive Diarrhoea - I tend not to picture it in my mind when I type it.

JD DABA

The absinthe related accidental death of your second uncle Doctor Prudence Toffington of Surrey, you have to take the weekly steam boat from Eire post haste in order to catch the autocarriage at holyhead for his sermon at St Pauls. Your Austro-Hungarian aunt Velma Funkhouser Toffington is bereft and fears for the family cotton factories in Siam.

Ilik Urgee

For Forks Sake wrote: »

I won't be in today Mister Bossman, I have smallpox.

Only problem I see there is he could hear the p as a c in the smallpox down the phone....

- "I won't be in today Mister Bossman, I have smallcox."
- "Why the fcuk would I be interested in your knob you pleb?- You're fired"

crackcrack30

nose bleed.....

dirtyden

I can break your arm for a small fee.