You really do learn who your true friends are..

lofty12

Broke up with my partner a few months and since come to realise who my real friends
Despite asking two called friends for a coffee more than once, both always have an excuse or just don't answer!. They were not the best for meeting up before either but this really takes the biscuit...I know if it was the other way round, I would have went out of my way to meet up with either... I am prob the quietest of my friends but I don't think that should make a diff!
I have one really good friend who really is a proper friend and has been there for me.
This was really getting me down more so than the actual break up, but now I have decided not to bother contacting 'so called friends' unless they contact me first.
I have one really good friend who really is a proper friend and has been there for me.
This was really getting me down more so than the actual break up, but now I have decided not to bother contacting 'so called friends' unless they contact me first and just be normal to them when I see them at weddings and that.

Merkin

Might you have dropped your friends or not paid them as much attention while involved with your boyfriend? A lot of (particularly younger) girls do this and then wonder where all their friends have gone when it comes to break up time. Do you think you have been guilty of this perhaps?

lofty12

No, I often asked them to come over and they would not be bothered even when we were together so prob should have left it at that.
Hindsight a great thing!
We are all in mid thirties so far from teenage carry on!!

Merkin

Don't worry, I wouldn't force the issue. Make new friends and be good to the ones you already have, no point hanging on to dead wood.

movingsucks

I agree with Merkin.
I had a baby last year and half of my friends just dropped off the face of the earth.
What really makes me laugh is we would do most of our contact online anyway so it's not like I'm any less available than I was. They probably just assume I'm going to bore them with baby talk. Maybe your "friends" don't know what to say and just think you'll be a drag. People are selfish. Well feck em I say. I'm done making the effort for people who can't be bothered.
It's hard to make new friends but sometimes you have to let go, it's their loss ultimately.

Like the poster above a lot of my so called friends disappeared when I was pregnant. I was only 18 at the time too and really needed them. When they no longer were around I realised that they had always been superficial but I never really noticed- why would I? Sure we were only teenagers.

However one true loyal friend friend stuck by me thick and thin, 15 years later we have been through so much together, she's my son's godmother, was my bridesmaid etc. I'd rather have one of her, for her unconditional love and loyalty, than five friends who are only around when the going is good.

People say you learn the hard way who your friends are, but I think that isn't a negative thing, I think we need "filters" to prove to us who we can actually rely on. If you have one person who genuinely has your back you'll be fine.

Rubberlegs

It always seems to be a big life event that shows you who your true friends are. Somebody who I would have seen a couple of times a week for a cuppa and chat, dropped off the face of the earth when my Dad passed away. As in, didn't even bother to come to the funeral, or send a card. I bump into her from time to time now, and am polite, but that's it. It's sad but these times really do weed out the people you thought were friends, from your true pals...

Sarah Jane.

The first thing I thought of when I read this was did you ditch your friends when you had a boyfriend? or were you maybe all over your boyfriend in their company just a suggestion. There has to be some reason :-)