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Blind date nerves

  • 20-05-2013 11:01pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all. I'm recently out of a LTR, so I've been out of the dating game for quite a while. A friend of mine has offered to set me up with a female friend of hers. I said "sure why not", so she gave me her number. My friend's friend has obviously agreed to all this too.

    So that's all grand.... but now I'm all nervous!! We haven't met, so I'm just not sure how to proceed. A little bit of advice would be great.

    Should I initiate by calling her, or texting? Texting seems like the easier option for both of us... but, I'm in my early 30s, would that be a bit rude/lazy/immature?

    When we meet, is the appropriate greeting a handshake/peck on cheek?

    Not even sure about what type of date to suggest, a quick coffee, or a drink in the evening, lunch... or some outdoor activity etc.

    Feel free to tell me I'm over-thinking this whole thing, I'm a bit out of practice... Thanks in advance folks.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 152 ✭✭anmhi02


    Joe2013 wrote: »
    Hi all. I'm recently out of a LTR, so I've been out of the dating game for quite a while. A friend of mine has offered to set me up with a female friend of hers. I said "sure why not", so she gave me her numberSpeaking. My friend's friend has obviously agreed to all this too.

    So that's all grand.... but now I'm all nervous!! We haven't met, so I'm just not sure how to proceed. A little bit of advice would be great.

    Should I initiate by calling her, or texting? Texting seems like the easier option for both of us... but, I'm in my early 30s, would that be a bit rude/lazy/immature?

    When we meet, is the appropriate greeting a handshake/peck on cheek?

    Not even sure about what type of date to suggest, a quick coffee, or a drink in the evening, lunch... or some outdoor activity etc.

    Feel free to tell me I'm over-thinking this whole thing, I'm a bit out of practice... Thanks in advance folks.
    Speaking from experience, I met my partner of over 3 years on a blind date. Your right it is terrifying but what the hell...you never know ! Do it simply....a coffee during the day maybe and if you get on drinks another night:-) . The first stepwill be the hardest ie getting in touch....for me we texted first and then spoke on the phone. Deep breaths and
    Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Good luck with it and fair play for getting back out there....really hope it goes well for you
    :-)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭pastorbarrett


    I'm of a similar age as yourself OP, and having been on a few blind dates myself can offer the following advice...

    To my mind, a text prior to meeting would be fine. Keep it short and friendly, and you could offer a suggestion on where to meet. Choose somewhere relaxed; bustling enough to not make you feel like you're at confession, but not too loud to inhibit conversation. By way of example (I don't know where you're based), the pubs around Grafton St are usually a good call, if even for coffee (The Duke, Davy Byrne's, Bruxelles etc).

    At least from the perspective of the hosted dating forum, the consensus seems to be a drink or two is preferable over coffee, food, movie for first dates etc.

    And hey, be nervous. I always am! And no doubt she will be too. Just roll with it as best you can, and don't over invest in it or take it too seriously. It's meant to be fun! Good luck.

    And yeah, go in for a quick embrace and peck on the cheek. Sure all those other civilized nations do it as a matter of course.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    Have you seen pictures of her yet? My advice would be to make sure you do. You're wasting both your time if you get there only to realise she's the polar opposite of what you're normally attracted to. It's not shallow, it's just common sense.

    I've been online dating for the guts of a year now (my own marriage broke up Christmas 2011) and believe me, a drink is a far better first date option than a coffee, which can feel far too much like an interview than a first date. Just don't drink so much out of nervousness that you get hammered an hour in. A decent meal an hour or two before you meet her is your friend in this regard.

    Davy Byrne's is actually my favourite first date pub, it's small enough so that you can A) find eachother easily and B) have a decent conversation, but it's always busy enough to absorb a nervous couple, even on a weeknight.

    Best of luck!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭wallycharlo


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    Have you seen pictures of her yet? My advice would be to make sure you do. You're wasting both your time if you get there only to realise she's the polar opposite of what you're normally attracted to. It's not shallow, it's just common sense.

    This is a must if you ask me. Your friend will probably have some snaps of her?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks guys.
    anmhi02 wrote: »
    Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
    don't over invest in it or take it too seriously.

    This is great advice, have to keep reminding myself to relax and maybe even have fun!

    Honey-ec wrote: »
    Have you seen pictures of her yet?

    We both have, and I agree it's a good idea. She looks lovely! Hence the nerves.


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