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Enraged with Grief - normal?

  • 20-05-2013 01:55PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a regular poster here but would prefer to remain incognito. A few weeks ago a very close friend told me that they have a very serious illness and it has knocked the stuffing out of me. I'm being strong and supportive for my friend but since the diagnosis, and particularly in the last week, I have been subject to the most horrendous rage and anger I can't quite explain. I am so acutely upset about this and yet it is manifesting itself in me feeling very very angry. I even wake up in a blind fury. My OH is being supportive to a point but I think is slightly confused at this outpouring of grief and hurt which compounds my feelings of upset even more. It may sound dramatic but the illness is as bad as it gets, I don't want to give too many details. Has anyone felt like this? I've had loved ones die before and haven't felt this sad.


Comments

  • #2
    LittleBook
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,716 ✭✭✭LittleBook


    My friend is in the same boat (and state) as you :(

    A very close friend of hers has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. She's normally the rock that other people attach themselves too, even though she has her own problems to deal with. But this has left her reeling completely, I think we're all a bit shocked by her reaction ... like you she's been through actual bereavements and handled them better.

    I think what she's finding hard is not only is she trying to cope with what's happening to her friend and helping her friend ... she's also trying to cope with the imminent loss of her friend. She said that learning your friend is dying is like a double whammy ... not only do you have to do everything to help your friend and support them, you also have to cope (in advance) with your own grief, loss and bereavement, . It's just too much sometimes.

    Does that sound at all familiar?

    Either way, it would only benefit you to get some counselling. The simple fact is that you need help as well as your friend. Maybe someone will suggest a specific group, I'm afraid I can't personally recommend one, but there are lots of counselling services available in general and for carers.

    Best of luck.


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