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  • 19-05-2013 1:10am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was abused when I was small, that person is dead now, but it has left such an awful mess.
    Trying to come to terms with what happened and the aftermath, I am finding it very difficult at the moment, I feel quite alone. I am 25, female, Ive never had a boyfriend and am unable to be intimate with a man, emotionally or otherwise.
    I am trying my best to move on with my life, I have been working, starting a new course soon, and hoping and trying to make things work for myself, but sometimes it can be such an awful struggle, I am just having a bad few days at the moment. I have lovely friends in my life, and love my family, I have a lot of good things going, but this is such a private thing, it seems like such a hurdle to get over. My friends are moving on and having fun, seeing boys/girls, having relationships, seeing different people, it's fun and lighthearted, and I feel just utterly stuck.
    I have lost so many years that I cant get back, my childhood, late teens and early 20's I feel like they have just been struck off the map because of the pain this abuse has caused me. I have spent the last 7 years working in an entry level job because I was unable to get a degree due to on and off depression in relation to the whole thing. I am much better now, and I'm hoping when I go back to study I'll achieve it this time, but sometimes I just get so sad about the loss of all of this time, a lot of things that could have been, all these years that have been taken from me. I feel much older than I actually am. Sometimes I look at my life and I cant believe that this has happened to me, I am just so sad, so sad.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi

    I can feel some of what you are going through, I too was abused as a young child! I like, you it took some time to heal. I was angry for a long time.
    Yes my relationships with men suffer, I just have no emotions. I just clam up and I was married and still nothing at the time. Im hitting on 32 now, single and working on myself because we have to heal the hurt within ourselves before we can involve someone else because it is just not fair to them.

    We dont know why things happen, they just do. It just part of our life story and I choose to believe we will learn something from this.

    You are not alone, Im here in this with you but in my life story!


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