Broke up with girlfriend

LegacyUser

Broke up with my girlfriend of a few months a few days ago but really struggling to get over it. Thing is, I met her at the start of the year at the same time I moved into a new house. First night I moved into the house was the first night I met her. Now absolutely everything about the house, the area, everything iv always associated with her and everything is just putting me in a bad mood. Even sitting on the sofa watching tv just reminds me of the nights we spent there just chatting.
Getting back with her is not a possibility. Break up came out of blue and we are on good terms but she has stated her position on that and its a no go. Havnt really got a proper reason yet either, stupid things like things were moving too fast, but I feel it was as much her pulling things along that fast.
Would like to remain friends with her as genuinely think we could be great mates, also got on really well with her brother and her other friends so would not like to lose those relationships. But would that be kidding myself? Im finding it hard to shake feelings I had for her so would attempting to be her friend simply just be me hanging on to any hope or possibility things could change?
Iv had girlfriends in the past, for longer periods, and have a lot of friends who a girls, but from day one, I just knew this girl was different. Everything about her just made her seem "perfect" for me. All my friends are the party, lets get wasted types, which im simply not, so cant face going back to all that! Any advice?

itsmichelle

First of all you should cut all contact with her. You cant be friends with someone you have feelings for especially not an ex. It will just prevent you from getting over her and moving on so you can meet someone else.

The best thing you can do is wish her luck and tell her to have a nice life and do not speak to her again. You can give a friendly "hello" if you bump into each other but other than that-forget her.

It will take time but you will be fine. Just give yourself a few months and then you will be ready to meet someone new.

car.kar

I don't think you're kidding yourself as such, but you need to make sure you're over her before you go trying to salvage friendships. If you remain in contact with her family and her mates it's going to make it much harder on yourself to get over her. I'm not long after a break up myself, and I've cut contact and am dealing with readjusting to life without my ex bf in it. I think you need to get used to that again aswell, and then when your head isn't clouded by feelings, you can try and make a friendship.

But you might also need to accept the fact that her brother and her friends mightn't be interested in keeping in contact with you? She might prefer them not to.

As for the everything reminding you of her ... I'm afraid I can't help you there, I'm currently feeling the same thing Pretty much everything reminds me of my ex, you just need to allow yourself to be sad for a while and then get on with it. But maybe it helps to at least know you're not alone in that feeling.

LegacyUser

car.kar wrote: »

But you might also need to accept the fact that her brother and her friends mightn't be interested in keeping in contact with you? She might prefer them not to.

Whatever about her Brother, that would be difficult, but even now whilst typing I am sitting in the same room as some of her friends. That contact wont be cut. We were introduced by some mutual friends and I just became part of her social circle.
We have temporarily cut contact. Wont be seeing her for a few weeks anyway. Ill decide then how to proceed. Understand what is being said about cutting her out of my life altogether, but may not be possible without cutting a lot of friends too.
My first real break up, outside of girls in my teens. It really is hard, been a week and hasnt been a minute since I have not been thinking about her!

LegacyUser

When I was 19 I was dumped by a girl who I thought was perfection. I genuinely thought she could do no wrong, I thought every man in the world would see her for the perfect person she surely, surely was. It was a horrible break-up. Genuinely. Took me ages and damaged a lot of friendships.

Now we're mates, and when I see her I see just another nice girl. I am genuinely stumped by how I felt so strongly for her for so long, and genuinely surprised those emotions, which really did define me for so long, have evaporated.

What you're going through will pass. I don't know how long it will take. It took me, being truthful, years. It took cutting contact for a long time, but it will pass and you'll look back in absolute wonder you ever felt the way you feel right now. Good Luck and trust me, you'll be amazed.