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Making a mess of things

  • 14-05-2013 9:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My situation at home is very stressful due to my spouse's mental and physical health, and I have been unwell for the past year for a number of reasons including this. Recently I was victim of a spiteful personal attack which resulted in losing a number of 'friends' - not much of a loss really but still very distressing as I was made out to be in the wrong through lies and fabrications, which people believed. Even though it has since been shown that I was not at fault, still it had a very bad effect on me.

    Now I have a condition that leaves me exhausted and to be honest, irrational on an unpredictable basis, but affects most days. There may be treatment for that condition. and I am following it up, but in the meantime I am being a pain and an irritation to people - one person in particular - by being irrational and emotional. My spouse is only vaguely aware of the problems, and does not want to know any more.

    When I am in this state it seems to be entirely reasonable to me, and it sounds a bit pathetic, but I don't seem to have any control over my behaviour. I think afterwards I should be able to have seen that I was not being rational. When I go back to normal, or what I think is normal, I realise that I was irrational, but by then I have done the damage. I keep apologising and trying to smooth things, but I am getting to a stage when I do not know whether I am rational/reasonable or not. Today I felt I was 'normal' and was aware that yesterday I had been completely emotional. I thought I was working out what I should do about the situation I created, then later in the day I realised that the conclusion I thought I had reached was also not entirely reasonable. And that has frightened me as now I don't know what to think.

    I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. I have had counselling (though not about this latest problem), I have seen doctors, including a psychiatrist, who was no help at all, he just said that in my circumstances it was understandable that I was distressed, and am waiting to get the tiredness problem dealt with. I am feeling more and more isolated, and I am beginning to despair, though usually I am very positive and pull myself out of problems by just making an effort and being proactive. I really don't know what to do at the moment. I know no one can solve anything, but if anyone has any thoughts I would be glad to hear them.


Comments

  • #2
    sunshine and showers
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,027 ✭✭✭sunshine and showers


    Hey, OP. You should continue following up with whatever treatment options you've uncovered. Sometimes you just have to keep at it with doctors and see a few until you find one you're comfortable with.

    What I would really recommend is that you find someone to talk to. It doesn't sound like you have anyone that you can really open up to to get rid of stress and worries. I think a counseller could be a really good idea for you. It can be helpful to have time every week where you can just let go and talk about what's going on in your life to someone that you are definitely not being a "pain" to.

    I don't think it helps that your spouse has their own health issues and "does not want to know anymore". That's something you need to talk about before it causes resentment that can't be repaired. I'd suggest talking to a professional about it first to get your thoughts in order, though.

    www.aware.ie is a very useful site. Please talk to someone. It really does help.

    I wish you the very best of luck.


  • #3
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Continue to see your doctor, and seek whatever treatment for you physical condition. I would also suggest to continue to see a counsellor, purely to discuss what is stressing you out.

    No matter how sick you are, you do not have a right to take it out on people though. The fact that you say its one person in particular suggests that it is not as irrational or as random as you think - it says that you CAN control your anger and stress, and choose to direct it at one person. If it was truly as uncontrollable as you feel it is, you would be taking it out on everybody - shop assistants, work colleagues, bosses, parents, siblings etc. But you mostly reserve your bad humour for your partner. That's not right. And I wonder if he/she has no apparent interest in your physical illness because they feel its your way of excusing your behaviour towards them?


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