Wedding Present Question

UpCork

Hi everyone,

First time in this forum. I'm looking for a bit of advice in relation to a wedding present.

Background info:

A friend of mine had just gotten married in Italy. I was invited to the wedding, but due to work and finances I couldn't go. We've been friends for about 6 years, she started off as a friend of a friend but then we became friends ourselves. I think she thought we were friendlier than I did...Haven't seen her much since Christmas as she was over and back to Italy with the wedding. Only ever met her new husband twice and they've been together a while.

They will be renting when moving back to Ireland with a view to maybe relocating after that so I don't really want to buy a physical present. I never usually do for weddings as everyone has their own tastes - I usually go with a voucher, but then this is the first wedding I've been invited to that I couldn't attend - so I'm not sure what the protocol is here.

Any suggestions?

Cheers in advance

lazygal

In that situation I'd give a voucher for a store they'd shop at to the value of what I could afford, and a nice card.

Bertie Woot

How about a CD of British indie band "The Wedding Present"?

Gatica

agree with voucher idea. If you don't think that you're that close and you didn't attend the wedding I wouldn't worry about spending a fortune.

UpCork

Thanks guys

Thing is she probably thinks we are a little closer than we are - she is kind of clingy - so I don't want her to think me stingy - I was thinking 100euro voucher

tatli_lokma

You can't really control what people will think, so I wouldn't worry about her thinking you stingy. If she does, then she has very bad manners. €100 is more than generous, particularly for someone who didn't attend the wedding. Don't fret over it too much. Give what you can afford and if she has any manners she will accept any gift you give - big or small - graciously.

wallycharlo

UpCork wrote: »

Thanks guys

Thing is she probably thinks we are a little closer than we are - she is kind of clingy - so I don't want her to think me stingy - I was thinking 100euro voucher

At the risk of being considered mean, there is no way I would even consider giving a gift of that value for a wedding which I was not attending, unless it was someoen who I was extremely close to.

If you are rolling in it then just ignore me

dublingirl83

You mentioned in your post, that due to finances you couldn't afford to go to her wedding so I don't think she will think you are stingy by giving her a voucher. Only give what you can afford- anything between 50-100€ is appropriate.

tibor

Why would someone give a voucher instead of cash?
In the current economic climate when retailers are going out of business left and right it seems like unnecessary risk.

tatli_lokma

tibor wrote: »

Why would someone give a voucher instead of cash?
In the current economic climate when retailers are going out of business left and right it seems like unnecessary risk.

I hear what you are saying about retailers and the risk, but not everyone likes to give cash and you are perfectly entitled to give whatever gift you feel appropriate - be that cash, voucher, household item, giftware, naff waving chinese lucky cat, whatever! ;-)

Dietsquirt

UpCork wrote: »

Hi everyone,

First time in this forum. I'm looking for a bit of advice in relation to a wedding present.

Background info:

A friend of mine had just gotten married in Italy. I was invited to the wedding, but due to work and finances I couldn't go. We've been friends for about 6 years, she started off as a friend of a friend but then we became friends ourselves. I think she thought we were friendlier than I did...Haven't seen her much since Christmas as she was over and back to Italy with the wedding. Only ever met her new husband twice and they've been together a while.

They will be renting when moving back to Ireland with a view to maybe relocating after that so I don't really want to buy a physical present. I never usually do for weddings as everyone has their own tastes - I usually go with a voucher, but then this is the first wedding I've been invited to that I couldn't attend - so I'm not sure what the protocol is here.

Any suggestions?

Cheers in advance

I'm getting married in Sept (and have been to a wedding this year already), and we (myself, my partner and the other couple) agreed that money in an envelope is great when you're not sure. Some people find it rude, but neither my partner or myself do. Newlywed couples are generally fairly tight with cash, new house/car/furniture, savings for the future etc .. and cash in an envelope is very welcoming.

€100-€200 is grand, whatever you can afford, less even.. i'm sure others will disagree but that's my 2cents OP

wallycharlo

Dietsquirt wrote: »

I'm getting married in Sept (and have been to a wedding this year already), and we (myself, my partner and the other couple) agreed that money in an envelope is great when you're not sure. Some people find it rude, but neither my partner or myself do. Newlywed couples are generally fairly tight with cash, new house/car/furniture, savings for the future etc .. and cash in an envelope is very welcoming.

€100-€200 is grand, whatever you can afford, less even.. i'm sure others will disagree but that's my 2cents OP

Agree myself that cash is the best gift you can give most couples, I would not imagine that anyone these days would get offended in any way at that. 100-200 Euro would also seem to be the norm in my own experience.

On the other hand though, what would you expect from someone who did not attend your wedding for one reason or another?

tatli_lokma

Cash is the most practical present - money will never go to waste. But it is entirely up to the gift giver to decide what to give and how much to spend. Give whatever you feel comfortable giving, and spend whatever you can afford/feel is fair. No one can ask for more than that.

solerina

OP
Give a 100 cash, dont give a voucher...they would be delighted with the cash.
Vouchers are very restrictive (and shops often close leaving you with a worthless piece of paper)

Dietsquirt

wallycharlo wrote: »

Agree myself that cash is the best gift you can give most couples, I would not imagine that anyone these days would get offended in any way at that. 100-200 Euro would also seem to be the norm in my own experience.

On the other hand though, what would you expect from someone who did not attend your wedding for one reason or another?

I've sent the invites out already, some people have RSVP'd they're not going. Genuinely, i wouldn't be surprised, nor would it upset me too much, if some people didn't give us anything.
Anyone that gives us a gift is a +, i'm aware that some people simply can't afford it and a 'Thank You for the invite blah blah' letter or email suffices.

Gatica

agreed, we got a gift only from 2 people who didn't come. Never expected anything at all, so was a nice surprise. One was a one4all voucher, as vouchers go, it's fairly open-ended.

I'm not one big for vouchers, but if you know people well enough you may be able to get them something for a shop they'd like, as I know some people don't feel comfortable just giving cash. If we'd got voucher for Anthony Ryan's I'd have been delighted as I love that store.
We got a huge voucher for a store we'd never shop at. It was very generous, but honestly we're running out of time to spend it now, as it has to be used within the year. We got a few small things like photo frames, some clothes... We've mostly had to use it to buy gifts for others though! Not because we wouldn't like it ourselves, it's all beautiful stuff, just wouldn't have the room for some of the stuff there, and we've lots of household stuff ourselves already. Basically, be aware for where you're getting a voucher for!

movingsucks

I think 50 euro is plenty to give personally, especially if you're not that close.
Why give more to impress someone you don't really want to be that close with? Or am I reading that wrong?

Feathers

wallycharlo wrote: »

100-200 Euro would also seem to be the norm in my own experience.

On the other hand though, what would you expect from someone who did not attend your wedding for one reason or another?

Do you mean for people attending? €200 if you not attending seems crazy, especially from a single person (not a couple). Even attending the wedding it'd be very generous, IMO.

I'd say anything up to €50 OP.

wallycharlo

Feathers wrote: »

Do you mean for people attending? €200 if you not attending seems crazy, especially from a single person (not a couple). Even attending the wedding it'd be very generous, IMO.

I'd say anything up to €50 OP.

If attending.

If not attending I would not even think twice about giving any gift, unless it was someone I was very close to, and could not attend the wedding for some reason.

elhal

I just got married and we did recieve cash from people not attending, I must say it was a very welcome gift. I would not expect anything more than 100 if you are not attending the wedding, even that is a very welcome suprise! But, ya cash is probably the best bet as every little bit helps for a newly married couple

JustAThought

elhal wrote: »

I just got married and we did recieve cash from people not attending, I must say it was a very welcome gift. I would not expect anything more than 100 if you are not attending the wedding, even that is a very welcome suprise! But, ya cash is probably the best bet as every little bit helps for a newly married couple

E100 cash - from People Who didn't go
To your wedding? If it was your brothers or a long standing close relation who couldn't make it for an exceptional reason ir simeone who had already accepted this would be ok to accept but otherwise no - its Like a tax on a sixty cent stamp & invite card. Far too much IMO .

OP I've got around my problem of
Buying for once
But no longer close Female Getting Married friends & I buy them a piece of
Jewellery. Better Than a voucher, says something special about a past friendship & is much More " touching" for sentimentals - especially if they're a hit clingy, and I expect not to see
Much of them anymore. You can get some really nice pendants or a bracelet for that e100 & she can transport it easily & it won't take up as
Much room As a Lamp / toaster would if she didn't like it! ( assuming you know her taste!!)

tatli_lokma

do you not think it is a bit rude to give a present that is only for one half of the couple? Even if you only know one half of the couple, you are invited to a joint event in their lives. Giving a gift should be for the couple IMO, not for one half of the couple to the exclusion of the other. Just my take on it.