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Perfect guy, but want breakup

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  • 12-05-2013 1:23am
    #1
    bunbunwins
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    For over a year now, I've been dating the perfect guy.(were both 18)
    He's caring, a good listener, enthusiastic, and all-around wonderful... I guess.
    He's my first real boyfriend, so I don't have much to compare too. My friends with boyfriends are all jealous because apparently, he treats me better than theirs do, which I guess is true.

    Since last fall (we'd been dating for 10 months), we've been going to searate schools, which is fine since we live a 3 minutes walk away from each other, and we would always have lunch together.

    So that was great, but then, right around the 1 year mark, I started to feel unsure. From talking to others I found out a lot of ppl feel like this at the one year mark. I told him about my feelings and he listened but didnt seem to really understand...That's when **** starting going south.

    I wanted to break up. I didn't feel satisfied anymore, and his efforts weren't changing anything for me. At this point I barely saw him ever, even though we live so close.

    After I broke up with him, I had a huge amount of regret and felt sick to my stomach. I didn't know if that meant I had made a mistake or that I felt terrible for making my favourite person in the world cry. I still love him but I do not know if it's in a romantic way. So I called him, and we turned it into a break. The break is supposed to end in like 2 weeks, when my finals are over. (maybe school stress was a factor)

    SO now,
    -Havent seen him in a month
    -didnt really miss him during that time
    -feel kinda like ill never find anyone better, but dont want to keep him in a loveless relationship
    -hes perfect
    -im a bitch

    I dont expect an answer really, just want opinions and all.
    What do you think? Would you stay with a perfect guy out of fear of never finding someone elese?
    I feel like I've never loved him as much as he has me.
    Tagged:


Comments

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    #2
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    You've answered your own question. I think you need to call time, now and don't leave it any longer. There's nothing wrong, just that you're not right for each other.


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    #3
    CommanderC
    Registered Users Posts: 420 ✭✭CommanderC


    You are 18.

    How could you be afraid of never meeting anyone else ?? Don't waste you life staying in relationships because you have a fear of being alone. It will be so self destructive and you will be a very unhappy person.

    You have a lot of living left to do.


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    #4
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Breaking up with someone who hasn't done anything wrong feels horrible alright. It doesn't sound like you made a mistake by doing so. You felt awful because you disliked having to hurt him. You clearly aren't a bitch. A bitch would have enjoyed what you found horrible.

    You have to be ruthless with things like that. Cruel to be kind. It was probably not ideal to take it back a bit and decided to have a "break" instead. Might have been drawing things out a bit. Hopefully he'll have realised that you aren't getting back with him by now, but at 18 he might not have.


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    #5
    NeonCookies
    Registered Users Posts: 509 ✭✭✭NeonCookies


    When I was 18, my friend went through something similar to you. She was going out with a guy, he was lovely, treated her well etc. But suddenly she wasn't happy - nothing he did was enough, nothing she tried to change was enough, she just fell out of love with him. It happens. You said you haven't missed him in the last month? That's a sure sign that it's over for you.

    My friend broke up with her boyfriend, and while it was difficult at the time, she (and he!) got past it. She has enjoyed being single, enjoyed different relationships, and now she's with another lovely guy and she's happy - and she's only 23! You'll meet lots of guys, and you'll work out what's right for you.

    My one piece of advice would be - if you break up, really break up. My friend messed this part up as she kept meeting up with her ex, they hooked up once or twice, she (unintentionally) messed with his head and made it so difficult for him to get over her. Once she stopped doing this, he could finally heal. In my experience 'no contact' after fully explaining the break up to your partner is the best and quickest way for both people to get past it.

    Oh, and one last thing - you're not a bitch, you're human! Handle this sensitively and maturely and you'll have NOTHING to feel ashamed of.


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