Maybe you can help a bit ?

LegacyUser

Despite how this might look, it's not a troll question I assure you. I'm a man in my late 30's and recently met a girl of similar age with whom I've become friendly. I'm not the most confident of people in the world though .... I can talk to her for hours and never get bored, but what I'd really like to do is ask her if she would be willing to casually sleep with me. I feel certain this isn't the first time such a situation has arisen between two people but it is the first time for me and I've no idea how to broach the subject. If she said no it wouldn't be the end of the world for me and I'd like to continue the friendship, but how the hell does one ask such a thing ??

Any suggestions ?

CaraMay

You can say you fancy her but dont want to have a relationship and ask if she wants to see each other casually. Be very clear with her that no matter what happens between you, it won't end in a relationship. Just make sure she knows the rules from the start.

IrishEyes19

the above advice is spot on. Start as you mean to go and at the end of the day. No one can point the finger and say they were mislead or told different. It is murky waters though I will say that. It works for some, and not for others. In a lot of cases people fall for the other despite agreements made beforehand. I would just say, be certain.

njs030

Is it just sex you want or also casual dating?
As said above be extremely clear about your request, if you want to call over, go to bed and the leave make sure she understands that it doesn't involve a social aspect to it.
I'd suggest the next time you talk bring up the subject if casual sex and see how she reacts before you jump in! Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Thank you all. I like the suggested approaches and the next chance I get I think I'll give it a try. It has to be casual, not committal and mutually beneficial before I'd even engage in any kind of sexual activity with this girl so I'll be very clear about that.

Thanks again !

CaraMay

What I also should have mentioned is that I'm a bit older than you and was no stranger to the dating scene when younger but I do find the friends with benefits scene very icky. I don't care what anyone else does in their own bedroom, however, I would be very offended if someone suggested I be their fu(k buddy.

I think you should suss her out on the topic before you ask her out straight. While it appears to be very cool and trendy to be in a fwb situation, ill bet the majority of ladies would rather not be. Just tread carefully as this proposition may offend but do, as I Saud above, make your position clear from day 1.

Chances are you will lose her as a friend either way.

Lorna123

You would have to ask yourself if the friendship means more to you than the casual sex because you might lose the friendship if you suggest this. I would be horrified if a guy I fancied suggested this to me, so tread carefully. We are all different of course and this might work for her, but it would certainly not work for me. If you don't mind losing her friendship and consider it worth the risk then fire ahead.

Tigger99

She could be very offended OP and it could affect your reputation.

Is there a reason you dont a relationship?

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for your replies.

So I started by asking her out for dinner to test the waters. First she said yes but then 15 seconds later she changed her mind and said no. So I'm taking that as a sign, I won't be pursuing this particular avenue any further.

But thanks again for your posts, I do appreciate it :-)