Lack of a Social Life

LegacyUser

Hi everybody,

Im male 24 years old and I have no social life and I dont know what to do about it. Since I went to college I lost contact with those who I went to school with and now Im loosing contact with those who I went to college with as well. After trying and trying to keep in contact with these it now seems like its a lost cause and I will have to build up from scratch a new social life / circle of friends but it just does not seem to be happening for me. I have left college now almost 3 years and am lucky enough to have found employment but everybody seem to be so settled there i.e married/kids/etc and dont have time for going out after work for a few drinks or all have their own circle of friends.

Im wondering if there is anything I can do to improve my social life. Im shy by nature but I have been pushing myself but nothing seems to be working for me at the moment. Old school friends are uninterested in meeting up as are college friends. Where do I go from here? It doesent help that Im living in the middle of the countryside with little else other than the GAA with which I never really associated with growing up. Is it stupid to go into a pub on my own and sit at the bar while having a drink? it seems to me a bit sad to have to do that at my age?? Im going out of my mind here with the situation that Im finding myself in and rather worrying as Ive only been out twice since Christmas. My quality of life has nose dived and although I dont like my job I know the situation is affecting my work as I was dreading this weekend coming.

Has anybody got any suggestions because I need a solution to this and fast before I go pure mad.

dd972

Maybe a change of scenery might be a good idea, in all honesty though most people all over the world usually have a few close friends.

A definite factor which I think might be getting to you is living in Ireland, there's this myth that we're the most gregarious, urbane, chatty and friendly race on earth, the place where there's no strangers only friends you haven't met, blah de blah, when it's usually the furthest from the truth. There's plenty of frothy gush, gossip and banter here but there's also a marked disinclination for pondering deep and serious subject matter or being less than superficial.

If you've transferable skills maybe give Germany or Canada a shot, even if you come back after a couple of years, it'll be with a slightly different mindset and the knowledge you're not trapped forever where you are, the mind is a tyrant like that.

Lorna123

It is quite common to lose touch with school friends once you leave school, same with college. Could you join some kind of club in your area, something you might be interested in. Did you try the meetup group on the net, meetup.com.

The more things you join the easier it is to make friends. I don't think it is stupid to go to a pub on your own for one or two drinks, but not for a whole night.

Sorry I can't be of more help OP, but there has to be some kind of social outlets even in the heart of the country. Are there any night classes you could join ? Join a gym.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Stavro Mueller

Have you tried looking at the notice boards in the local supermarket or in the local paper for things that are going on? What you need to do is get yourself into situations where you're seeing the same people week after week. It doesn't have to be a sport if sport isn't your thing. You could try volunteering either. Or even something as mundane as joining up with a local walking club.

Failing that, maybe you might think about changing jobs and/or location. If you don't want to move from where you live maybe you might be able to get yourself a job where there are more young people to socialise with. Or perhaps get a job in another town and move into a house share with people your own age. All of these are just thoughts I'm throwing out there.